I need to sort my life out

[Featuredcreature]

I am in such a fucking quandry. Everywhere I look I see blockages and problems to overcome. I am a single mother 3 kids 18, 15 and 12. 3 years ago I had a stroke, thankfully it wasn't devastating, but I have less use of my right hand which unfortunately was my dominant hand. I have use of it, but can't really write anymore, it looks like a small child's handwriting.

Before and after the stroke I was suicidally depressed, my life got away from me, I couldn't deal with anything. My family (sisters) basically couldn't give a shit and I'm pretty much no contact. My ex (kids father) is a reliable friend, we don't really have much to do with each other, but he does what he can and is the one person I can rely on.

I feel like I could actually work, my financial situation is basically unlivable at the moment, it's awful, I literally cannot imagine living like this forever. I get basic esa, of which most of it is taken by bills that are taken before I see a penny. Child tax credits are reduced because may eldest left college, it's miserable.

I have had many jobs in the past, there are so many barriers to entry now though. Does anyone have an idea of what I could apply for, it seems impossible, I last worked in 2017, I have no references I could supply. Everything seems hopeless.

I read on the tax credits page online you can get CTC for a child up to the age of 20 if they are in some kind of approved training. Just in case that helps at all..

You can see disability friendly employers when they advertise online I think. Maybe have a look somewhere like local council. Good luck

@Orangesandlemons77

I read on the tax credits page online you can get CTC for a child up to the age of 20 if they are in some kind of approved training. Just in case that helps at all..

Sorry just re-read and see they left college..

@Sideswiped

Re your DD, could she apply for a provisional driving licence? That can be used as ID.

Im trying, but I literally don't know anyone, nevermind someone with a driving license (needed for the application) everything is such a frigging chore and I have limited patience aghhh.

Thanks all for your messages BTW, it really helps me think I'm not just being a mentalist and I really am in challenging circumstances. My experience with dwp and various agencies has been awful to say the least. That's why I am hesitant to apply for stuff, it's really hard when everything is so obstructive.

@Featuredcreature

Thanks all for your messages BTW, it really helps me think I'm not just being a mentalist and I really am in challenging circumstances. My experience with dwp and various agencies has been awful to say the least. That's why I am hesitant to apply for stuff, it's really hard when everything is so obstructive.

You might find they are OK with PIP seeing you have esa already so must have evidence for that. Give it a go, might be worth it. BUt know what you mean

You’ve done incredibly well to stay on your feet. A stroke is a bugger of an experience.

The main thing is to get out and start asking for help - I know it’s hard to do but there is help out there -

The government does a back to work grant for those with disabilities which you don’t have to pay back.
Your job centre can advise on disability friendly employers
Scope also does a back to work advice survive for disabled people
Other organisations are re-employ, the disability rights organisation, shine charity, give with confidence

Would you consider teaching assistant work with a view to training as a teacher?

@Featuredcreature, sorry, I've only just seen your update. Is there someone at school / doctors / dentists who could sign DD's application? You will probably have to pay for the last two though.

.. also worth contacting smartworks, who help women back to work often after v difficult life experiences. They can help with confidence and interview training, and clothes.

Op. You have a levels, have you considered going to uni? You will get universal credit top up on your student loan and you will be much better off as well as not actually having to work in a job full time. It will give you confidence and it sounds like you need the boost! I’ve just done finished a degree myself and am the same age as you and now doing postgrad. Lots of mature students, lots of parents, lots of support for people who haven’t studied in a long time, absolutely loved it.

Apply for PIP today. The phone number is open 9-5. It does take c 20 mins and is frustrating but they don't ask you medical questions on the phone.

You need your NINO, address Inc postcode and contact number for your GP and any other professional you have eg consultant and you own bank account and sort code.

You then have a month to do the form and it will get backdated to today.

Go to CAB to get help filling it in as you have to know the right things to say.

Be clear what your care and mobility needs are eg toileting, dressing, cooking, communicating, moving about etc.

If you can get mid care your 20 could claim carers allowance.

This then doesn't stop you still looking for work as PIP isn't taxable or an out of work benefit.

Volunteer at a charity shop, home start, etc to get a reference.

Good luck.

You deserve a better life than this.

OP could also get a top up to tax credits if they claim PIP at the higher rate care. Think it is called a disability element. May be similar with UC.

It's sounds like you've had a really hard time but there's definitely support available to help you!
could you ask your GP for an appointment with the Social Prescriber? There's one in each surgery and they support with all the things medical staff can't, like housing, employment, learning, skills, confidence building, bereavement, loneliness, difficult circumstances, anything that affects our wellbeing but isn't medical.
They know all the local and national resources available to help.
In my area they work with the county council and can refer you to their benefits advisors to apply for benefits. I would definitely apply for PIP if I was you! if they can't do it, go via CAB.
In my area there's a service called Action Towards Inclusion which supports people for up to a year to get them back into work, there's schemes like this all over the country.
I would speak to the Disability Employment Advisors via the Job Centre.
I would also speak to the Stroke Association, they can be great.
The charity SmartWorks provides posh interview clothes if you need anything like that.
Don't feel ashamed about applying for PIP, I'm in my 30s and work full time and get it, and have a Blue Badge, it doesn't make me any less of a person, it just covers the extra cost of being disabled, means I can afford disability aids and heating (well, a bit).