Tell me about your active kids?

[arcticgoose]

I have a active little boy (almost 3) and reading through threads on mn, I'm sure I'm being judged as a bad parent, not disciplining him or there's some sort of neurological problem but can't a little boy just be active because he is active? I'm by no means a soft parent or a parent that doesn't follow through consequences threats. I'm consistent, use the word' no', remove him from situations, follow like a helicopter and not let him run loose etc. Please tell me why is it that active kids are always by default frowned upon and thought to have some discipline issues or some behavioural problems?

My DH and all the males in his family were apparently like ds when younger so I know there's some strong genetic links but today they are all successful entrepreneurs, help out in charities and are admirable fathers and husbands. Me on the other hand including my 3 siblings were all content otherwise dm wouldn't have had 4 but are totally different and lead different lives compared to DH and his family apart from me as I'm a sahm right now and obviously live with DH so I'm connected to his life in that way iyswim. The older generation including my mil and even my dad just recently said it's always good to be active and forceful by nature. Is this true? Please tell me your experiences because I'm feeling like a failure or there's something wrong. Even in nursery, ds is a nightmare as he doesn't listen, doesn't sit. Baby groups were a nightmare too. The toddler that you see in the supermarket that throws himself on the floor or in the airport because he wants to climb the shelves or run the wrong way up the escalators belongs to me 🙋‍♀️

Please tell me about your experiences with active kids and how they turned out

Please tell me why is it that active kids are always by default frowned upon and thought to have some discipline issues or some behavioural problems?

I don't think they are.
My dc1 was like this, and, whereas it was exhausting for me, overwhelmingly he has been well liked throughout his life.
Like your dh and his brothers - he is now a grown man with a responsible job, a lovely partner, lots of friends, but he still needs "exercising" regularly.

@Kite22 that's so lovely to hear about your dc. I know about the exhaustion as it's like a 10 person job to take care of him sometimes. I have to take him out regularly so he gets his exercise but then going out and running after him is another thing that adds to my exhaustion. Parents at the park just sit on the bench playing with their phones or chatting to friends where as me, I'm climbing the advanced play frame in case he falls or running after him in case he runs in front of a swing. It's just at nursery, the kids there seem so calm and content and my little one is the wild one full of character and mischief expected to be like them and there's something wrong with him. I get looks and I feel I'm being judged as he is a handful and as if I made him like this.

There is nothing wrong with being active, but I wonder if that is quite what you are describing. It sounds like the issue is maybe more to do with not being perceptive of risk (climbing dangerously, running in front of swings) and difficulties with behaviour at nursery (though it isn't clear what mischief he gets up to - is it difficulty sharing? Not listening?).

Either way, I think he's a tiny child who is still learning and will get there, and sounds totally normal, but I wonder if it is helpful to frame these behaviours as "being active".