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Original poster

Relocating from rural Wales to South England?

43 replies

maminthesticks · 06/02/2022 22:29

As the title says I live in a fairly rural area of Wales, it is a beautiful area but pretty far away from everything. 3+ hours to get to Cardiff, Manchester, Liverpool etc. House prices are obviously great and we own and live in a large detached house with a big garden, lots of parking etc. 2 very young kids to factor in toddler very happy and settled in his nursery but not started at school yet.

My partner has been offered a promotion but it would mean relocating to South England. Surrey, Hampshire were the main areas we were looking maybe stretching to out skirts of Berkshire or Dorset. I've been trawling right move and it's pretty depressing viewing! There are some great perks to my partner taking the job, work/life balance wise, but worried it'll be a massive downgrade in home life with what houses may be in our affordability. We couldn't really afford anything decent in the entire county of Surrey!
Obviously though there isn't much to do where we are. Partner has a pretty senior job for where we are but not really many opportunities for me, or for our kids growing up. I imagine South England would be a very different story. Both lived here forever too and do have that sort of is there more to life feeling.

I'm looking for anything really - people who have done the same and whether they regretted it or loved it, whether the pace of life up there would be worth a worse house, areas that I can look in where we might get more bang for buck.

We're really in two minds about whether he should accept the offer or not. Part of me thinks it's a great opportunity but part of me thinks we're settled and although a quieter life we live pretty comfortably where we are and kids are happy and can have a good life here

OP posts:

Original poster

maminthesticks · 07/02/2022 12:55

Yes having a bit of a head wobble here and it does seem risky to move to the most expensive part of the UK for negligible pay rise. I think my partner has it in his head that he's not amounting to much if he never leaves his home town area and we have both had that is there more to life train of thought, but it is telling that people the other way around feel the same and want to escape for the sort of area we live. It's difficult because we're worried to not do it and regret it, but dh would be lucky to get a job that pays this well again here if we moved back and his old job had been filled. Lots to think about. Thanks!

OP posts:

Frazzled2207 · 07/02/2022 12:58

Unless there is a significant pay rise I wouldn’t. If you and your children want more amenities I would suggest moving either closer to Cardiff or the well populated north wales coast. Enormously cheaper.

whatisheupto · 07/02/2022 13:01

Rent your house out (either long term or as a holiday let) and then rent in the south east.

Don't sell, you'll regret it and it will cost you loads in fees anyway.

whatisheupto · 07/02/2022 13:17

With regards to him worrying they won't offer him another role, think of it the other way round. It's a negotiation. He needs to push back a little and say he is interested in a promotion and willing to make changes, but not moving house at this stage. More and better positions will always come up if he's good at what he does, don't worry about that. See this as a good sign that they have earmarked him as a good employee ripe for promotion. Use it to your advantage, go back with a counter offer (or at least a chat about what he is and isn't looking for in any future roles) and see what you can negotiate. Doesn't have to be now though.

Errent · 07/02/2022 14:14

I regret leaving Pembrokeshire for the bright lights of Berkshire. If I had my time again I would not make the same decision. We would have had a far superior standard of living staying put. And all the things you think you’d benefit from, easy access to London etc, you never use them in reality. If I ever get the chance to go back I’ll be off like a shot.

ThatPosterIsSoRight · 07/02/2022 14:24

@Errent

DH left pembs for the south east, as soon as he could, and has never regretted it.

Everyone is different with different priorities and only you can decide what works for your family OP.

He should definitely be offered a bigger pay rise to make it worth his while.

Original poster

maminthesticks · 07/02/2022 15:08

We aren't city people so closeness to London doesn't actually appeal much. I'd rather live near a city like Cardiff as I don't find it quite as intimidating - sounds silly but truth! Its not an area we had thought of moving to despite having some family ties due to the high costs but I think it's the fact that it's been offered and we do have people there makes us think maybe we should take advantage of the opportunity. I am feeling like I'm leaning more towards staying put at this point though.

OP posts:

Tricked2003 · 07/02/2022 16:24

No way would I consider such an enormous move with the primary benefit being weekends off!
It just doesn't add up. I'm Welsh and have lived in London and rural Wales, don't underestimate the benefit of having family and friends close.

MrsDThomas · 07/02/2022 19:16

Leaving rural Wales? Oh my, id feel sick at the thought. Its not worth it, dont, you’d be miserable

Original poster

maminthesticks · 07/02/2022 19:32

Think just had this feeling of there must be more to life than rural Wales. Grew up on Carms/Pembs border and now in Ceredigion so sometimes wonder if we're missing out not venturing much further - but yes would hate to leave all we have and suddenly realise that we had it all here.

We do have a lovely four bed detached house with big garden and parking for four cars so seeing all of these three bed terraced houses with no parking on rightmove costing a good £60k extra minimum is horrific. Feel like I'm raining on his parade but all I can see at the moment are negatives.. think my decision is obvious though

OP posts:

Thewoolmill · 07/02/2022 19:55

I’m not sure I’d move. The salary it sounds won’t get you far, you’d be sacrificing your job and your support network. We live in the South east and I’d move North if the kids (two with Sen) weren’t so settled in school. Maybe he could negotiate with the company and do some working from home but I’d be very loathed to move. Especially if you’re happy and settled.

ItsCanardBruv · 07/02/2022 20:18

Seriously. I’ve been around the world and lived in half a dozen countries. I now live somewhere which makes Tregaron look a bit busy. The “rest of the world” is overrated. Keep your slice of paradise.

Redwinestillfine · 07/02/2022 20:21

Can't he commute? No way would I be moving. Your quality of life would be rubbish!

Ladywoodster · 07/02/2022 20:26

I wouldn't. In fact I'd bite your hand off for a move in the other direction!

Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat · 07/02/2022 21:09

Minimal pay rise?
Lose your maternity benefits?
Move in when your 8 months pregnant?

There is no way in a million years I would move if I were in your position.

This isn't the right job. Just because he turns this down doesn't mean that he'll never find another opportunity ever again. It's all too black and white. I would keep looking and take my time. IME things have a funny habit of turning out for the best. Keep rejecting stuff until you you find what you are looking for.

Original poster

maminthesticks · 08/02/2022 09:41

Think me and my partner are on different sides I've gotten scared now and think I want to stay put and he wants to go for it as so much more opportunities for kids in the long term. Yes technically maybe but not if we're bloody skint!

OP posts:

MinnieMountain · 08/02/2022 15:50

What opportunities does he think your DC will miss out on?

quiteathome · 08/02/2022 17:12

I live in a relatively cheap-ish area of Hampshire- however compared to some parts of Wales it is expensive. I love it here. However that is because I have built up a community and a support network of friends.

The opportunities that my children have are plenty of clubs and activities. They can go out with friends without needing lifts everywhere. Cycle easily to school- no country lanes. A good choice in schools. Good local universities should they want to stay at home to study.

We also have some countryside on our doorstep. Not completely built up.

However traffic is busy. And we have to drive to get to the sea. And the local beaches are busy.

Wherever you end up with you do make the best of it. This might just not be the right time for you though,

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