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Original poster

10 week old wants to go to bed!

29 replies

Flangeosaurus · 06/02/2022 22:03

I’ll start by saying I’m sorry, I really am, DS1 was the most horrific sleeper ever and slept in 90 minute slots until he was 2.5. It. Was. Shit.

DS2 is 10 weeks and appears to be a completely different breed and is very chilled and sleeps a LOT. From about 8pm every night he’s unsettled and wants to be held (fine!) but mostly it looks like he wants to be in bed. He’s had several nights over the last couple of weeks where he just wouldn’t settle until he was put to bed - he sleeps on his own in a cot in our bedroom, but obviously up to now we’ve just always been in the room with him whether upstairs or downstairs! He seems to be getting worse and worse the last week and I’m starting to think he just wants to be in his bed but I don’t like the thought of such a young baby in a room where we’re not there - even with a monitor on. Would you leave them at this age? It feels wrong but it seems to be what he wants!

OP posts:
UKmumtobe · 06/02/2022 22:05

Just go to your room with him? That's what I do and watch something on the iPad for a bit then go to sleep myself.

BrambleRoses · 06/02/2022 22:07

I always went in with DS, partly because I was adhering to safe sleep guidelines but I was also tired Grin

It’s a bit of a pain but it isn’t forever, I’d just go on my phone or kindle if you’re not wanting to sleep.

TheSandgroper · 06/02/2022 22:14

I had dd in a bedtime routine at 9 weeks and wished I had started earlier. It took years before she would countenance any alteration. Some kids like it.

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MargaretThursday · 06/02/2022 22:16

Dd1 was sleeping 12 hours 8-8 by 2 months old, so fine.
In my case dd2 decided to demonstrate the opposite end of the spectrum.

Original poster
Flangeosaurus · 06/02/2022 22:17

We don’t have an iPad or kindle and DH works shifts so I’m a bit reluctant to go and sit upstairs as that would be 4 days out of the week I wouldn’t see him at all! Also I want to be doing things like hanging washing out, tidying up, cleaning etc; not exciting but necessary. I’d like to be able to have a glass of wine and just a sit down and watch TV too! I’ve no issue with DS being downstairs but I don’t really want to be upstairs at 8.30 every night

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 06/02/2022 22:21

It's not for long in the grand scheme of things. I just went with it, watched stuff on TV in bedroom, read Kindle, listened to podcasts, popped up and down to make a tea, etc. Alternatively, could you just put him 'to bed' downstairs at 8 in a quiet corner?

blyn72 · 06/02/2022 22:24

Can he not sleep downstairs in a little cot or pram until you go to bed? Then you would be with him or near him but could get on with whatever you want to do.

theworldsgonefeckingmad · 06/02/2022 22:27

My first was like this...lulled me in to a false sense of security so I had number 2, who still doesn't sleep even though she is nearly 5!!!

Get some early nights OP ready for when he starts teething Wink

Goawayangryman · 06/02/2022 22:28

It sounds like he likes the dark and quiet. And also like you bloody well deserve that.in your shoes I'd get an angelcare or other movement/breathing sensor and crack open the wine.

LazySaturday · 06/02/2022 22:36

To be honest if the baby is happiest having a good night time routine, I'd put them to bed, invest in a really good monitor and pop in regularly throughout the evening. My DS was probably around four months when I did this and it worked for us.

runningoutofnewnames · 06/02/2022 22:40

DS slept in a moses basket downstairs and I'd carry him up when I went to bed. I forget what age moses baskets are suitable for now, but can you get one or something similar and keep him downstairs with you? DS slept through a surprising level of noise, once he was asleep.

JSG55 · 06/02/2022 22:44

We put our DS to bed from around 8/9 weeks at 8:30 then sat downstairs with a monitor, checking every 15 minutes. I’ve never been a night owl so I would be in bed by 10pm at the latest anyway. It worked for us then, he doesn’t sleep longer than 2 hours at a time now at 20 months so I really wish I had appreciated those quiet nights at the time.

WorriedGiraffe · 06/02/2022 22:47

I wouldn’t, it increases the risk of cot death and isn’t recommended. Someone being in the room helps them regulate their breathing apparently. I’d pick a good book series to read and just embrace it as it isn’t for long.

runningoutofnewnames · 06/02/2022 22:52

It's a common misconception that babies aren't meant to be left alone as we can't see/hear them, but actually it's the other way round.

Babies need to sleep near us, so they can hear us as it helps them regulate their breathing.

BrilloSolar · 06/02/2022 23:13

Yeah, it's not the guideline you're 'meant' to follow but I'd definitely be investing in a very good sleep/breathing monitor and putting him to bed... And then enjoy (not jealous at all at 9 months with soooo little sleep).

Franca123 · 06/02/2022 23:18

We left both ours upstairs from 7pm onwards from when they were a few weeks old. Both of them wanted to be asleep in the quiet and dark. We never worried about it at all. I really needed that time after they've gone to bed to feel human. Enjoy a decent meal with my partner, glass of wine etc...... It kept us sane tbh.

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/02/2022 23:19

Hurray! I’d personally just get a movement monitor and let him be. Presumably you leave him for naps during the day anyway?

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 06/02/2022 23:24

Can't you just pop him in a Moses basket in the living room with you?

Ijustneedtosleep21 · 06/02/2022 23:27

I had my babies in their cot in our bedroom with a monitor from 7-8 weeks. It was only for a couple of hours before I went to bed but they liked the peace and quiet and so did I !!

lapasion · 06/02/2022 23:40

Stick him in the cot, put a telly in your room and get engrossed in some dramas with subtitles?

Sounds like you’ve lucked out and got a good sleeper! My DS slept 7-7 from about 3 months and it was great. He did go through some periods of sleep regression, but 10 years later he still zonks out and sleeps heavily.

BlackeyedSusan · 06/02/2022 23:45

I think you are fortunate to have the worst sleeper first. like us. Means you can cope with just the one of them. I would have hated to have the sleep skills the opposite way round.

The worst sleeper now takes themself off to bed and gets up easily, and has been great at sleeping since they were about two and a half to three.

The baby that fed on the four hours schedule on the other hand... that lasted until they were two... I have had the return of the sleepless night, though at least once they are asleep they stay there for the rest of the night... just getting them to sleep before midnight is hard work.

BlackeyedSusan · 06/02/2022 23:47

the night terrors at two when they slept half a night clung to me on top of me werre particularly memorable...

Original poster
Flangeosaurus · 07/02/2022 07:15

It’s definitely the increased SIDS risk that bothers me! He’s too big for the Moses basket now, and although he’s perfectly happy in the daytime sleeping in the pram apparently it just won’t do after 8pm Grin I think I’ll just have to suck it up and go upstairs, he’ll probably decide everything needs to change in a few weeks anyway!

OP posts:
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 07/02/2022 08:03

What about a travel cot?

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 07/02/2022 08:03

What about a travel cot?