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Original poster

Renewing vows / second ceremony

21 replies

Dexy007 · 06/02/2022 05:22

Has anyone done this, and if so, why?

Married almost 5 years. We emigrated after marriage and now live very far away. Our wedding feels like a lifetime ago. Due to COVID we haven't been 'home' for almost 3 years. (Although home doesn't feel like home now, here does).

We have met the most wonderful friends here.

Part of me wants to have a small renewal of vows with these wonderful people in this place we now call home.

This time without the guest list drama. Without the stupid portrait photos. Without the church to please my parents.

Views? Have you had a vows renewal or been to one?

OP posts:

SalsaLove · 06/02/2022 05:26

My parents did it after being married for 30 years. I’ll be honest, I don’t understand your reasoning. You’re barely out of the honeymoon phase. Perhaps just have a party for your new friends?

booplefloof · 06/02/2022 05:35

Never been to one. Agree with PP. why
not just have a party?

AlternativePerspective · 06/02/2022 05:38

I think it’s all rather superficial after such a short time. After all don’t vows say “until death us do part”?

If you do this your friends will be wondering which of you had the affair.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 06/02/2022 05:38

I’ve been married 3.5 years. If I had a vow renewal ceremony now, people would assume our marriage was struggling and we were trying to save it. Would be weird.

The only reason I would have done this is if Covid had stopped me having the wedding I wanted. I probably would have just done a big party though.

ChangingStates · 06/02/2022 05:54

I also think the renewal thing is a bit weird after only 5 years. Two couples I know who did this were separated a year after. Personally I would plan a lovely 5th wedding anniversary celebration with friends instead

AlDanvers · 06/02/2022 05:56

Honestly, if someone had a view renewal after only 5 years,my assumption would be that the marriage is in trouble and/or someone has cheated.

Seafog · 06/02/2022 05:57

Are you going to do one every five years?

AgentProvocateur · 06/02/2022 05:57

I’d be wondering which one of you had the affair if I was invited to this.

alltheseasons · 06/02/2022 05:58

I don't get the whole vow renewal thing anyway, but five years is way too soon for it. It's just about understandable if you're celebrating a milestone like 25 years. Just have an anniversary party as others have suggested

SNUG2022 · 06/02/2022 05:59

People definitely think affair. You would probably be judged for it, and it's very self-indulgent. People just don't care that much. I agree, have a party!

Tergeo · 06/02/2022 06:03

Definitely agree people will think one of you has had an affair. Just have a "we've been here 5 years" party!

BlueBell50 · 06/02/2022 07:30

I conduct them and, unless it is a significant anniversary I always wonder who has strayed.

Wnkingawalrus · 06/02/2022 07:31

I think they’re pointless. Just have an anniversary party if you really need an excuse.

HasaDigaEebowai · 06/02/2022 07:34

I always assume one has had an affair too. Don’t do it unless you want your friends to assume the same.

DappledThings · 06/02/2022 08:36

I would also assume affair, sorry.

TeenPlusCat · 06/02/2022 08:42

Just have a 5 year wedding anniversary party surely?

MrsDThomas · 06/02/2022 08:44

Never understood this lark. Done it once. End of.

bigbluebus · 06/02/2022 08:56

The only people I know who were going to to this (until Covid put a stop to it) are my DB & DSIL but they have been married 30+ years and got married by themselves with just the 2 witnesses.

Original poster

Dexy007 · 06/02/2022 20:22

Ok thanks for feedback...I'll park this idea...🙈

OP posts:

StripeyDeckchair · 06/02/2022 21:06

My first thought would be which one of you had an affair?

ComtesseDeSpair · 07/02/2022 00:15

Just have a nice party for all your new friends. They’ll think you bonkers and self-absorbed to have a second marriage ceremony purely so that they get the opportunity to witness it. You’ve done the vows, they last as long as the marriage, they aren’t like an iOS update which you need to keep your device supported.

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