Hello lovely MNetters,
My DH has always thought about himself first - decisions are always based around how he feels, what he wants and how things will affect him. I guess I just grew so used to it over the years it’s just become the house dynamic but lately it’s started to really grate and I find myself resenting him for it. If we get a bad night’s sleep because of the children he will moan how it’s impacting his life and his ability to work, he complains that he doesn’t have enough time to enjoy bars and restaurants and nights out every week because of the children, he says he wants to spend more time playing sports or going to the gym. He never thinks to ask me what I want or how I feel. Everything is ALWAYS about him. Even when pregnant, he never bothered to ask how my appointments etc went even if he knew I was nervous as he was “too busy” with other things. If I questioned it he would always have an excuse such as “i wasn’t feeling great so I couldn’t think about anything else.” I found a lump in my breast and had to go to the breast clinic with our baby in tow as he didn’t want to book time off work to help and then didn’t even bother to ask me how it went. In fact he called me while I was there asking me a question and had totally forgotten I even had the check up! I feel like I have to be the upbeat, always cheery, “everything is ok” person as there’s no room for me to complain or yearn for different things. I feel angry that he’s so blinkered by what he wants (he often compares his life to friends with more money / more freedom / still enjoying the single life and holidaying all the time) that he doesn’t see how lucky he is to have our lovely children. Can someone like that ever really change? Is it possible to become less selfish or is that him for life? I feel so tired and worn down by it 