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Original poster

Rules you had in your childhood that now seem bizarre?

999 replies

Tattted · 05/02/2022 17:20

As a child/teen living with my parents we were actively discouraged from showering/bathing everyday. It was really frowned upon and seen as unnecessary and probably a bit extravagant. I know probably as a young child I didn’t need to but as I got older and even after I turned 18 and was still living at home they would have been a bit annoyed about it if I wanted to shower everyday . I should say where we live has no water charges so it wasn’t about that. Now as an adult and a mother myself it seems so strange. I realise it’s probably because my parents both came from large families that had very little money and, back then, no hot running water. Even know my parents bath weekly but sink wash every day.

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 06/02/2022 18:29

A quarter of sweets was the weekly limit.

TheVillageShop · 06/02/2022 18:29

No sweets at all, except for 5 Dolly Mixtures after tea on a Sunday.

No fizzy drinks, ever. I didn't know what a fizzy drink was, and still don't drink them now (except for gin and tonic Grin).

RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 18:29

I cut a big slice of butter off for the table and serve it on a small dish!

Tangerinedream99 · 06/02/2022 18:31

My sister had a pink bedroom and mostly pink knickers and I had a blue bedroom and mostly blue knickers. Funnily enough, I only noticed that our underwear matched our wallpaper as an adult. Not sure what longterm damage this may have done… Wink

buddhasbelly · 06/02/2022 18:31

@RosesAndHellebores re the McDonald's bit - I just watched The Founder, film about the starting up of McDonald's - the brothers who started it actually seemed lovely, it's quite fascinating seeing how they got rid of crockery and things would've been standard in a restaurant at that time. It was on amazon prime, a good Sunday night watch.

On the rules front, many similar experiences to others that have posted. Also, hair had to be kept short, no styling it took up too much time. I longed to grow my hair to tie it back!

Maximum71 · 06/02/2022 18:33

Only being allowed to shave the front of my shins up to my knees (but not including my knees) from the age of 12. And I was hairy assed mofo.. I must have looked like desperate Dan gone wrong.. when I questioned this a few years ago she said she was just worried I would get even hairier... Confused

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 06/02/2022 18:34

@Tangerinedream99

My sister had a pink bedroom and mostly pink knickers and I had a blue bedroom and mostly blue knickers. Funnily enough, I only noticed that our underwear matched our wallpaper as an adult. Not sure what longterm damage this may have done… Wink
Haha… I have two girls in exactly the same clothing size (not twins). It causes an issue with things like underwear as no one ever knows which ones belong to who. I resolved it by buying one DD all blue underwear and the other all pink underwear. DD1 has a blue bedroom and DD2 has a pink bedroom Grin
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/02/2022 18:35

Talking of sanitary pads and general ignorance, a friend told me that about 10 she went to meet her mother from work. But first she put on a nice little white hat she’d found in her mother’s drawer, very much like the little hats that were fashionable at the time.
It even had very convenient loops to put round your ears!

Her poor mother came out of work with a crowd of colleagues to see her dd with that on her head. I’m sure there was much hilarity but the poor woman was so mortified!

Cstring · 06/02/2022 18:38

My mother was fairly obsessed with not appearing common, this was 1970-80’s.
In addition to eating and drinking outside being common therefore strictly prohibited, any make-up that was brighter than pale pink was deemed common too. So no red lipstick or nail varnish, until I started work then I bought my own, and it was tutted over, with lots of angst over how common I looked with it.
Being loud and confident was very common too.
Pierced ears were the height of being common according to my mum, as was hair dye.
Anything leopard print was exceptionally common, and you would look like Bet Lynch, who with peroxide hair, smoking, being loud and wearing low cut leopard print was the epitome of being common and needed to be avoided at all costs.

JudgeJ · 06/02/2022 18:38

@billycat321

no sex once you know you are pregnant as the baby might see 'IT' and grow up traumatised!
In a biography of Nancy Regan, written by Kitty Kelly, Regan's daughter told the story of how her mother would say she had a very hard labour because the daughter was clinging to her ribs!!!!!!!!!!!
RosesAndHellebores · 06/02/2022 18:38

My mother is a classic narc and there are some very bad memories but this thread has made me appreciate her a little. I think her comments were along the lines of "you'll never find a decent husband if you don't make the best of yourself".

It's interesting because my ILs loved their dc and were proud of them but had some of these silly rules in the context of being worthy. Originally wc and v poor and had moves into the middle classes. They were a bit anti appearance and joy and rationed the good stuff. Sweets, biscuits, etc. Which just meant their children even now eat secret Mars bars and with the exception of DH haven't fulfilled their promise. Whereas I was told I was pretty useless but had an open upbringing with few rules Hmm

JustDanceAddict · 06/02/2022 18:38

Chocolate once a week only (until I was old enough to buy my own and I went crazy and had loads of fillings!

I had a bath every other day and hair wash once a week

orangetriangle · 06/02/2022 18:40

lots of relatively harmless words were banned ie bum loo and pardon not what and no ain't either!!
and we had best crockery best glasses but I never ever remember them being used not even on special occasions

sclarke624 · 06/02/2022 18:41

@Mossstitch

Did anyone else have the 'not allowed to wash hair when on a period' or just my weird mother (along with a lot of other weird stuff😕)?!! As a greasy haired teenager this blew my mind and eventually ignored her!
My mum the same. Seems quite common looking through the thread.
sclarke624 · 06/02/2022 18:43

My dad would panic if I turned the lights on without shutting curtains first. Must be a wartime thing, for him.

orangetriangle · 06/02/2022 18:43

no nail varnish no toenails painted no ankle chains all seemed as common

Justmuddlingalong · 06/02/2022 18:43

Kids bedrooms were really functional. I wasn't allowed posters, toys lying about or colourful bedding or curtains. We had electricity producing nylon sheets, woollen blankets and shitty brown candlewick bedspreads. I had a bedroom I shared with my older sister, but the decor was just an extension of my DM's decorating taste.

JustDanceAddict · 06/02/2022 18:44

I also had the ‘no drink with meal cos it’ll dilute your stomach acid’ talk - that was from my bonkers dad so I ignored it!!

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 06/02/2022 18:44

Lots of the above.

No sleeveless tops, even shortsleeved were looked upon with suspicion unless they skimmed the elbows. It was 2 years ago that I actually wore a sleeveless sports top (a vest) in public outside of an exercise class (even then, most tops I wore to a class were shortsleeved).

Always had to wear an underskirt or cami top with waistslip if wearing a skirt/dress which is probably why I prefer trousers so much.

Kneelength socks could be just under the knee but a kneelength skirt/dress had to extend below the knee, definitely not above.

TatianaBis · 06/02/2022 18:44

Newsagent chocolate, McDonalds and Birds Eye etc were not considered real food and thus were rarely indulged.

Justonemoretouch · 06/02/2022 18:45

When we played outside, my mother would open a window and put a tea towel on the windowcill, which would be a signal we would have to go inside without her having to call us in.

JugglingJanuary · 06/02/2022 18:47

@Topseyt

In our house only my parents were allowed to be known by shortened versions of their names. In fact, neither of them have ever been known by their full names.

My sister and I were to be known by only our full names and anyone who addressed us with a shortened version was to be corrected immediately. This wasn't much of an issue for me as my name doesn't easily shorten, but my sister's does and it was for her. Whenever one of her friends was heard using her shortened name they were instantly by my parents. It was embarrassing and cringeworthy to hear.

As an adult, she usually uses her short name.

As adults we have teased my parents plenty about this double standard. It hadn't even seemed to occur to them until then that that was what it was.

I've never thought if it like that before!

My parents were very strict on our names not being shortened & told friends 'it's 'Samantha' not 'Sam'. (Not my name) so they had to try to remember when in my parents earshot, after calling me 'Sam' all day, every day st school! It was annoying & embarrassing! Though shortening my actual name is more like Laine to Lan (not an actual name IYSWIM.

My Dad was called the shortened name of my his name (similar to Pete/Peter) and my Mum was called a short name all her life, unrelated to her actual name.

My brother had a Thomas/Tom type name & wasn't allowed to use the shortened version either.

Bizarre isn't it.

However, other than the name thing (which doesn't seem weird, just annoying!). I can't think of any 'rules' my parents had that were 'weird'.

MN makes me feel even more grateful for my parents all the time.🤣

speakout · 06/02/2022 18:51

Quite the opposite.
I was a street runner from the age of 3, Often supervising 2 year olds, staying out all day, and only coming home if we were hungry or or
it was geting dark.

orangetriangle · 06/02/2022 18:52

another no eating upstairs no deserts apart from at weekend if you were still hungry you could have a piece of fruit
never had chocolate biscuits only plain ones the occasional time we did they were not put out I the biscuit tin but hidden In a cupboard

JudgeJ · 06/02/2022 18:52

@liveforsummer

Salad and all unwrapped Pick'n'Mix type sweets had to left to stand in Milton for 30 minutes before we were allowed to eat them. I was 18 and had left home before I realised that salad did not need to taste of bleach

I read a thread on here not long ago about eating strawberries straight from a punnet and some posters actually still do this now with soft fruit and the likes - crazy!

I recall going to pick your own strawberries and I swear we ate more that we put in the baskets.