Autistic women - esp late diagnosed

[ilikeyourdognotyou]

What do you feel makes you Autistic? How did you know?

Also (& I don't quite know how to phrase this so I'll just say it) - anyone who also has ADHD who found the meds made you more autistic?

I ticked all the boxes as a child but masked. Mum was told I was shy/antisocial/would grow out of it. I went to clubs and groups for socially anxious/selective mute kids. Never got a diagnosis though!

As an adult, the best way I can put it is I feel like I’m on a road parallel to everyone else. I can’t get onto their road, I don’t understand their road. They seem to know what they’re doing and I don’t have a clue. I’ve been told as an adult things that I do aren’t ‘normal’ and it’s because I mask but get it wrong.

So growing up mum would put washing on radiators. Never occurred to me that the radiators were on. I just copied what she did as an adult.
Was asked to chop the carrots for dinner, so I did. Every single one.

Little things like that which I don’t realise are wrong until they’re pointed out to me.

What do you feel makes you Autistic?

I don't understand what this means. I don't 'feel' anything makes me autistic, I just am.

How did you know?

I recognised myself in my DDs assessment. She was my second to be diagnosed. I'm quite slow on the uptake sometimes

@cheekychaplin

During my son’s assessments my mum kept saying ‘he’s not autistic he’s just like you were’ got his diagnosis and mum looked at me and said ‘I think you’re autistic’ 🙈

Looking back I ticked all the boxes as a toddler but it wasn’t diagnosed much then. Especially in girls.

I’m not diagnosed because I can’t face the process right now but I have a child who is diagnosed and I recognised myself in them

My sensory issues are huge. Things get too bright, too loud and I can't listen to a conversation in a crowd. It all becomes to much and I have to urgently leave the situation.
Social wise, I literally have no friends and I like it like that. People want too much from me and I just want to be left alone to indulge my special interests.
I don't understand social conventions at all such as why people ask if you are alright when they really don't want to know the true answer.
I find it so hard to give eye contact, it's painful to do so.

I only quite recently found out that there's a good likelihood I'm autistic. Still adjusting to it, but following with interest!

I was diagnosed as a child so can't help with the first part. But I had to stop adhd Medicine because (I to do not know how to phrase this!) it felt it massively increased a lot of the autistic traits I can't cope with.

Sensory issues were the thing that made me twig. Had proper uncontrollable meltdowns when I got too hot or my surroundings were too noisy or bright or smelly or something.

Bad at communication too, too blunt and candid, terrible at eye contact.

Since diagnosis I've found that autistic people tend to be less emotionally mature than their peers and I can relate to this.

This is all so relatable thank you 😭

*What do you feel makes you Autistic?

I don't understand what this means. I don't 'feel' anything makes me autistic, I just am.*

Sorry @cheekychaplin I can see I phrased this wrong

But I had to stop adhd Medicine because (I to do not know how to phrase this!) it felt it massively increased a lot of the autistic traits I can't cope with.

@Cromple it's so strange isn't it! I was told this about my son - when he starts adhd meds they will reassess for autism as the traits will show more. Then when I started meds I noticed things about myself and certain things (mostly sensory) bothering me a lot more. I'm just in a weird place though where I am doubting everything and feeling so confused about it all.

Couldn't do eye contact. Very painful to try. My eyes kept sliding off to the side.

Sensory meltdown in church. (When they play music in the background of spoken word. )

I can only tolerate a certain level of conversation before I literally feel like I am being assaulted by people’s words.

I don’t understand people and how they effortlessly interact with others.

@Florelei that's how I feel lately - I can cope up to a point then just need to escape

& the same with me speaking - I reach a level of exhaustion where I literally feel like I can't produce any more words

I realised when other people were diagnosed. It crept up on me that normal people that are nearly 40 years old can cope with things that don't happen as they expect them to. Other people cope outside of their routine. I realised I don't feel empathy. I care about people. I don't want anything bad to happen but I don't empathize. I lack genuine interest in other people. I either take over and dominate a conversation or I exhaust myself trying to be reciprocal.

I view seeing friends as a necessary chore, like pegging our washing. I like them well enough once I'm with them but I don't look forward to it and want to go home again after a bit.

To be honest,other humans generally bore me. I like who I like but on the whole find people irritating and would rather be left alone.