How do you phrase things sensitively to keep people on side?

[Changedmane]

I think I am fairly sensitive to other people’s feelings but I am constantly doubting this. For example dd has food intolerance, her GPs always give her food that makes her unwell. I have said numerous times that we really love them, as does dd but the food is making her unwell and that she needs alternative food. I’ve even given her packed lunch but that’s been taken away. I’m now not taking her there GPs are upset, not listening and angry. Yet is exdh says the same thing they would agree immediately without complaint.

At work I am required to summarise what has been said in a neutral way. Invariably one side will take offence at this neutral summary and accuse me of siding with the other party. Obviously, I manage this calmly.
Another example a teacher was teaching about a subject in a neutral way and got accused of being on one side- which caused a furor at the time.

How do you say things calmly in a neutral way without causing upset or hurt feelings. Clearly, I need the help!

Don’t know op.

You speak calmly and authoritatively and repeat repeat repeat.take the emotion out of it.

I get listened to but I present as being very confident and have a bitchy face so it works 😂

Sometimes it's the prior relationship (e.g. respect the person, versus still seeing them as an ill informed child)
Sometimes it's people listening more to a man.
Sometimes people have their own bias, so neutral seems to be biased the other way.

Thanks @PinchOfVomand @TeenPlusCat. I am confident, maybe too nice and sending off mixed messages. I agree with taking the emotion out and repeating calmly.

I would say that you probably talk too much, going into lengthy explanation which weakens your message ... it’s a common issue among women. You should practice a refined elevator pitch style message for key points you want to get across.

It is one of the 12 habits that holds women back, explained in the excellent book “How women rise”. Recommend read