DH is walking around with what appears to be a large sex toy and it's getting on my wick.

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

He's got a bad bad trapped nerve in his shoulder and I feel desperately sorry for him, but people are definitely side eyeing him.

We've had lunch out, been to an art exhibition and the cimena, he's wandered around with it cradled in front of him like a new born .

He has some dignity, he isn't actually doing the pummelling in the line of vision of the actual public, but for the love of all that is oscillatory and Holy, he's got to get better soon to save the shame.

It did come with a bag, which may have made the day more serene. But I decluttered that

Bigger than a stoat 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Are we talking a ‘wand’ like thing here?

I really want to see a picture...

I'm having a lovely time reading randomly selected posts from this thread to DH whilst providing absolutely no context whatsoever

@StCharlotte you're the first person I've heard say that other than me

What the F are you on about?

Next time you are out with him in public, tell him to squirrel it away.

Are you trying to be all ‘quirky’? 1/10

Does it hum, I can imagine that would be a tad distracting.

Does it look like this, OP?

www.bushwear.co.uk/products/premium-mustelid-attractant-stoat-weasel?variant=10703650521124&gclid=Cj0KCQiAuvOPBhDXARIsAKzLQ8HUZ5iNLxic3JgJJtvzgThCCKUBfhPJEyvNFJXrwvQeFYk6IbpBsjMaApRCEALw_wcB

Minks aren’t posh.

Stoat any day for me. Or an ermine.

Stoat stoat stoat. Buttery Biscuit Stoat

@ChaosTrulyReigns

Might he be better off using a TENS machine whilst he's out and about? He could then either put the box in his pocket or hooked into his belt maybe whilst he's walking abound, with the electrodes attached?

Otherwise he can buy a thin self-heating pad which he could wear on his shoulder under his clothes? Cura-Heat pads are single use and you can get them for different parts of the body. Heat lasts several hours. Good luck OP. 🌹

Should have got a ferret size one, less noticeable..

thank all the gods and godesses that the next level up, Bigger Than Stoat Mark V was not on sale at Christmas.

Has he considered a sling? Take him down the sling bank so that he can get the right one, then he can be hands free Stoating all the way round town.

@ChaosTrulyReigns

It's a vicious massager thingumy.

And it's bigger than a stoat I guess.

I fucking love this post. The best 👌

I hear they are quite expensive but the next model (vi) comes with grippers.

Because it is considerably bigger than the aforementioned stoat models, you will have to pay admission fees to the cinema/gallery/etc for it but you may consider that worth it. And you won’t have to pay for a sling.

It sounds like a classic case of mis-selling.

Everyone knows that massage stoats have a distinctive bounding gait and are active during day and night. Never the right choice for out and about.

He would be better off with a massage pine marten, which is nocturnal. Although the shrill cries during the mating season could still be a problem...

@mightytights4

It sounds like a classic case of mis-selling.

Everyone knows that massage stoats have a distinctive bounding gait and are active during day and night. Never the right choice for out and about.

He would be better off with a massage pine marten, which is nocturnal. Although the shrill cries during the mating season could still be a problem...

Alternatively. I'd suggest a massage polecat. Less agile than a pine marten so less likely to abscond and leave you in the lurch. The foul-smelling anal secretions are a distinct drawback, but nobody's perfect.

Wick you say?

Isn’t a large phallic shaped object with a wick called a candle?

Why is he walking around with a candle?

I’m so confused, he’s got a bad back, so bad he needs to carry a stoat around.
But not so bad that he can’t go to the cinema, lunch and an exhibition 🤔