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Original poster

Anyone moved abroad for work?

20 replies

pitterpatterrain · 04/02/2022 19:38

Potentially have an opportunity to move out of the UK for 2-3 years … DH is intrigued, opportunity sounds good

But at the back of my mind I keep on thinking isn’t it selfish to move the whole family including our 2 DC just for a job (and my job at that)

Anyone else wrestled with making this decision - and the emotions around it?

OP posts:

LIZS · 04/02/2022 19:48

We went for dh job, initially 1 year turned into 4! We came back when dc2 was due to start school. How old are your dc, do you have older relatives, can you really afford the lifestyle which is so attractive, would your dh want/be able to work or be a trailing spouse? Would you be on local or expat terms?

givememarmite · 04/02/2022 19:52

I moved abroad for work but when I was much younger and single...now settled in that country with DH and DC. It can be a brilliant opportunity to experience a Luther country, culture, learn a language, (I assume) advance your career, but I guess a lot depends on which country the job is in and how old your DC are.

There is a living overseas topic here (think it's under home and garden) where you will get lots of helpful information and experiences from people who have done this. And probably specific to the von try you are looking at.

KobaniDaughters · 04/02/2022 19:56

We did - D.C. were newborn and toddler, 3 years turned into 10 and we’re about to move home

All depends on age of your DC I think

Mrbob · 04/02/2022 20:00

I would see it as the opposite of selfish as long as you aren’t disrupting exam years etc. It’s great for kids to experience life outside the UK and opens their eyes.
What a fab opportunity

Original poster

pitterpatterrain · 04/02/2022 20:14

Thanks for the replies

LIZS DC are 5 and 8 right now
Expat terms, DH would prob also work - may be able to get a transfer at his work / find something relevant

givememarmite ah thanks I thought there was a more relevant board was struggling to find it

Mrbob I was thinking it could be good for the DC yet then also wondered if it would disrupt their schooling and impact the start of secondary etc

OP posts:

KobaniDaughters · 04/02/2022 21:12

@pitterpatterrain the only slight issue is your 10yr old - if it’s a 2 year opportunity 100% go but longer than that you start to fall foul of secondary admissions though to be honest we’re going through this with our 13yr old and it will be what it will be. If you can hold onto your U.K. home so you have an address to return to an apply for in year places that makes your life a LOT easier. Depends on the child but I don’t think it’s disrupting at this age, we’re at the last possible point I’d want to move kids if it wasn’t absolutely necessary which buys you 4-5yeats really

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 04/02/2022 21:15

My husband's parents did this on a 5 year contract and then came home when my husband was young. My sister left home and has now lived in 4 countries in ten years.

Success depends on lots if factors. Languages and potential barriers plus cultural differences are maybe the hardest to overcome.

Do you want to live in an expat compound or mix in with locals? What sort of life do you want? Can you afford to leave and come back? Do you want to come back? The list of questions is almost endless.

HerRoyalNotness · 04/02/2022 21:18

It’s fine. Things to consider are you have no one for backup in emergencies, no family to lean on. Good opportunity to travel IF you earn enough, what school system will you be going into and is it easy enough to transfer back.

We went for 2.5yrs, that’s now 13yrs and it has been difficulty. Finances primarily, my career has disappeared, children don’t know their wider family. Feel at the mercy of the company. At the D.C. ages, now would be difficult to uproot them to a different school system and emotionally. Summary is,
Don’t get trapped and be clear about why you’re going and what short term benefits your family can enjoy to make up for loss of other things

MaizeAmaze · 04/02/2022 21:30

We did 4 years for DHs career.
It has destroyed my career. It has been fab for DHs career, and a real global education for the kids.
We came back for secondary applications for DS1 (ie for Y6).
We got British (read English) international school fees paid. The kids had big gaps in e.g. UK geography and history, and what a cold wet winter means, but have a greater understanding of global geography and deserts, along with a multicultural outlook on life. At Primary, so long as the teaching is sound, I dont think it matters exactly what the are taught.
Neither set of grandparents were (are) local. We probably spent more time with them living abroad than when we were UK based, it was just clustered.
DS1 is flying at secondary. DS2 starts in September. I think he will thrive with the accademic stuff. Not convinced by the Social side, but that was him before we moved as well.

MadameHeisenberg · 04/02/2022 21:31

We’ve lived in 5 different countries but settled in Switzerland and the kids were born here (3&5 now). DH is a different nationality to me. Work for international companies and am actually just considering a 2-3year stint in Puerto Rico with my job, returning to Switzerland after. What’s holding us back is the impact on our applications for Swiss nationality if we leave and return… the clock resets to zero.

Original poster

pitterpatterrain · 04/02/2022 21:43

KobaniDaughters appreciate the details on the secondary side of things. I don’t know if we would rent out our place in the UK / keep it

Madame that’s tough re the Swiss nationality

MaizeAmaze thanks this is helpful and I really don’t know on DH’s career. He’s been saying he wants a change for a while so maybe would work out … but can see how it also could not work

The place we are considering is Singapore

OP posts:

MadameHeisenberg · 04/02/2022 22:27

OP, we lived in Kuala Lumpur and spent a lot of time in Singapore. It’s great for a couple of years and fabulously located for exploring all of SE Asia. I’d definitely do it (English-speaking means it’s easier for your DH to find opportunities too).

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/02/2022 22:32

We did 24 years ago and have never looked back. We didnt have kids then though.

We moved for DH's job and I got a good job here before we moved.

Not miles away from the UK and English speaking, but still an 8 hour boat ride from the UK, so far enough!

Similar culture to the UK, so not sure I would have been as happy if I couldn't speak the language.

KobaniDaughters · 04/02/2022 22:52

If Singapore then I would 100% go for it

We came to America where it’s very easy to create a long term life thanks to language and culture bing so similar (though is also very different in a lot of ways!!) hence ending up being here for so long

FeelTheRush · 05/02/2022 03:15

Check the rules for spousal working in Singapore - I think they’ve either just or are about to change and your husband won’t be able to work without his own employment pass and the ministry of manpower have gotten A LOT tougher on granting them.

If you can do it on one salary, 100% do it

Ulelia · 05/02/2022 03:26

@Feeltherush is correct, if he can get a job here (I'm in singapore) before you come out, or get a transfer here, you'll be fine. If he waits til he's here and then starts looking, it's much more difficult than previously. Not impossible, but difficult.

As love singapore and definitely recommend it. The Living Abroad thread is a useful source of info, and I'm happy to answer questions if you like! I don't have kids though so no help there

The things you need to ask your company about are school fees (loads of really good schools here but they are EXPENSIVE), comprehensive medical insurance for the whole family and either rent covered or a large enough salary to cover the eye watering rent prices.

Yesthatscorrect · 05/02/2022 03:27

We did it as a family when I was a kid. Lived in the middle East and Thailand. Very grateful for the opportunities it gave me and how it has shaped me as a person.
Just last week I surprised a customer with my smattering of Arabic. Learning languages is so much easier when you're living there.

Mydogisagentleman · 05/02/2022 07:20

We went to Oman before our DD was born, she turned up 10 months later.
We moved to a further 4 countries and returned to the UK 8 years ago.
I would say we had a fabulous experience, DD is now at university and confident and very open mind3d to new experiences.
I would second the advice about education, housing and medical insurance being included in the package.

GnomeDePlume · 05/02/2022 07:37

We moved to the Netherlands for my job. DH was already SAHP. DCs were 1, 3, 6 at the time of the move. We stayed 5 years.

Company move so all moving costs covered. If we had wanted it the company would also have paid school fees. Instead we sent DCs to the local primary school.

It was a very happy time for us. The area we lived in was great for families. Having DCs at the local school helped us to feel part of the local community.

Original poster

pitterpatterrain · 05/02/2022 11:43

Thanks everyone really appreciate it, good tips and questions to ask

Will explore further !

OP posts:

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