Cancel the fancy wedding?

[ryanne]

We have a wedding booked for the summer, big grand venue, bridesmaids, ushers sit down meal, the whole show.

My dad died suddenly last week. Now, the day won't be the same, all the fuss and frills just doesn't seem important. I just want to sack it all off, call the local registry office and book us in asap, with just close family, around 20 people. Then for a meal after.

Other half is happy to do whatever I want, but thinks we shouldn't make any rash decisions whilst grieving. Also, if we cancel now, we'll have to pay 50% of the balance for the venue, loose all of our deposits etc, a few grand. As we move to within 6 months, the cancellation fee changes to 75% total balance so need to decide within a couple of weeks.

I just can't see myself ever wanting that big traditional wedding now without my dad there :(

I know no one else can make the decision, but any thoughts words of wisdom would be appreciated!

I’m sorry for your loss.

What about all your guests? Are they going to be left paying/going on a destination wedding without a wedding?

Sorry for you loss.
I am getting married this summer. I know my dad would hate for me to cancel my plans and lose money

I'm sorry about your dad and can understand how you feel.

Don't do anything just yet. Wait until just before the 75% stage and make a decision then. You've got enough to be dealing with at the moment. Take care of yourself.

i know this is easy for me to say, but if this was the wedding you wanted, I'd keep going with it. nothing u do can change what has happened to your dad or make u feel any better. so you should find the joy in anything and everything else that you can. Having a lovely day with all your other loved ones is still going to be great (although painful for him not being there) but I hope u can enjoy it in itself for what it is.

The hardest thing for me about losing my mom are the moments where I focus on the things she will miss.

I’m several years out now and that thought still brings a few tears, but I also now have the perspective to understand that you can’t let those moments slip away.

My dad passed away suddenly a couple of months before our wedding. My mum made it clear that understand no uncertain circumstances were we to cancel, as dad would not have wanted that.

I had a photo of him on my flowers that only i knew was there, and we had photos around the reception venue of him and also DH grandfathers who passed away also.

Hi first off I'm so sorry for your loss I know the pain of suddenly losing your dad it truly is awful, when we first lost my dad I said no more babies no wedding at all etc as I just couldn't see how I could move forward knowing he wasn't there to be part of it but its been 5 years now and it honestly would of disappointed my dad if I had stuck to that I know he would of wanted me to carry on and enjoy my life. Iv gone on to have another baby and we get married in May no it won't be the same but he will still be there in a way we've added little touches to make him part of our day. Please don't be rash in making a decision it really is your grief talking all the best and congratulations on however you choose to have your day.

I am sorry for your loss, and understand how painful this is at the moment.
Not an easy choice, but I would go ahead with the wedding as it is. Think about what your Dad would have wanted you to do.
It will be painful, whatever you do, but you can make adjustments around the parts your Dad would actively have done, and everyone will be totally understanding on the day.

Thanks for the reply's, honestly the complete opposite of what I was expecting.

In regards to other peoples expenses, it's around 30 mins for everyone that will be coming, so no outlay for anyone yet, we haven't even sent invites yet but have obviously told most people the date. I don't even have a dress yet, was supposed to be going last week but cancelled due to what had happened.
Thanks again for the reply's, will think on it some more.