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Original poster

Help dd has just had braces fitted

65 replies

MegCleary · 03/02/2022 17:33

And she is in shock. She hates how she looks, how it feels is & in tears.
We thought we had prepped her but apparently not.
They are straightforward train tracks. Any tips??

OP posts:
SephrinaX · 04/02/2022 10:28

She'll really regret it later in life if you get them removed now. The clear ones tend to look worse if you eat certain foods or lipstick or anything. I'd stick with the metal for sure.

TeenPlusCat · 04/02/2022 10:29

Oh, you really don't want to do that, surely. Certainly not at this point.
Is this on the NHS? If so the teeth must be 'bad' enough to warrant it.

She needs to keep them on for say 3 months. Then if she still really hates them it is time for another conversation maybe?

Punxsutawney · 04/02/2022 10:33

Things probably will improve. Ds is autistic with severe sensory processing difficulties and the first 48 hrs after his brace was fitted was utterly horrendous. I thought he would need it removing.

But it did settle and 18 months on, he is coping with it. He doesn't like the adjustments but apart from that there are no other issues.

MinimumChips · 04/02/2022 10:37

That sounds so difficult. Was she thinking they’d be Invisalign? They’re a popular option for teens where I live (but are pretty expensive) and I think a lot of kids aren’t used to seeing traditional braces as a result, at least not as frequently as we did when I was a teen in the 90s.

I’d encourage her to give it a month. See if she adjusts.

SE13Mummy · 04/02/2022 10:39

I don't know anyone who has had theirs removed early but I also don't know anyone whose orthodontist hadn't prepared them for what the braces would look like.

DC2 is 12 and has fixed braces. In the early days diet was mainly jelly, yoghurt, smoothies and baby food pouches. The squashies sweets seemed to make it in there too. It does take getting used to and will be uncomfortable to begin with but my DC's orthodontist had been very good at explaining the alternative i.e. jaw surgery so DC understood the short term pain vs long term gain. Orajel was useful for sore cheeks and lips, nurofen melts for the initial pain but mainly it's been friends that have made the braces OK.

I hope your DD starts to feel better about them before long.

sashagabadon · 04/02/2022 10:40

It is traumatic! My daughter used to cry too. But got used to it and friends followed suit. Now very happy she has lovely straight teeth. But it is a shock and takes a while to get used too and it does hurt a bit too.

Gazelda · 04/02/2022 10:40

DD (13) had hers fitted last October. She's not long been given glasses too 🥲

She was so upset at the thought of having them, but I said she'd be so grateful in a few years, better now than in her 20s when she'd have to pay, she can hide behind mask, lots of her friends have them et. etc.

She soon got used to them (3-4 days). Lots of pain relief. soft food (risotto, pasta, cauliflower cheese etc). Jelly, rice pud, milkshake, mousse. Plenty of wax.

The trouble I have is getting her to brush properly. She was 'told off' by the orthodontist yesterday for not brushing well enough.

PhantomErik · 04/02/2022 10:47

I had braces at 24 & cried after they were first fitted. I thought they looked awful & ridiculous on an adult. I was also a bit angry & pissed off at not having them in my teens. My DM took me to an orthodontist but they didn't think it was going to be worth it.

I didn't smile properly all through my teens & early 20's because of my teeth.

Because I was older & my teeth were more 'set' it took 27 months to sort them out.

I wish so much that I'd had it done younger but it is one of the best things I did for myself as an adult.

Yes it was painful at times & I felt really self conscious but so so worth it.

Lots of TLC, painkillers & comforting food like macaroni cheese, mashed potatoes, rice pudding, porridge, ice cream etc

Definitely get the wax as I got loads of mouth ulcers initially as no one told me about the wax!!

Original poster
MegCleary · 04/02/2022 10:48

I don’t want to (though I am concerned re her mood). School today will be a barometer. I don’t think I realised how tricky they would be

OP posts:
Einszwei · 04/02/2022 10:53

I didn't have any pain with my braces, and they managed to complete my treatment sooner than expected. I had ulcers when the wires were not trimmed at the sides but the tightening was not painful for me.

Hopefully her friends at school will help put her worries at ease. So many will have had/have braces at that age.

ShowOfHands · 04/02/2022 10:59

My 14yr old has had braces for a year and she's by no means the only one. At least half of her friends have them. She really won't stand out as different. I'm also surprised she hasn't seen other children with braces in school.

Is she usually so anxious about her appearance? Or about anything else? I'm wondering if it's symptomatic of a larger struggle and should be addressed in terms of managing a larger anxiety or if it simply needs to be managed for what it is. Which is by no means dismissing her distress. She's clearly very upset but the approach to it might depend on where it is coming from.

FazedNotPhased · 04/02/2022 11:03

Fgs don't get them taken off, or give any indication that that's an option because right now she'll take it without thought for the consequences.

You're being a good parent by acknowledging her discomfort without dismissing it, but you also need to be the adult in this situation. She will adjust, it's just a shock. When she's older, she will delight in straight teeth. She will be filled with regret if you allow her to squander that opportunity without giving it a fair shot.

CosmosLily · 04/02/2022 11:06

I had them when I was about 12 ish to 14 and started off hating them. People telling me "it'll all be worth it in the end" didn't help my "now" so I didn't care. What helped me, looking back, is seeing really "cool" girls with braces. I've actually recently seen a bunch of really pretty/cool girls on TikTok with braces so you could search for videos like that. Also, teeth gems seem to be back "in" since the tv series Euphoria and I swear they look a bit like train track braces when the person has a few of them (from afar).

Overall, just show her cool people who are older and have braces and that might help!

As a drastic measure if she really does hate them that much and will continue to do so, so much that if affects her confidence - could you look into getting them removed and replaced with something similar to Invisalign? No idea on cost but my friend used a similar company recently and they actually weren't too bad, price wise.

Bagelsandbrie · 04/02/2022 11:07

For a slightly different perspective (from the other replies) … if she is really unhappy and wants them removed let her. I have wonky teeth, I really wasn’t bothered about them and there was huge pressure on me to get braces. I flatly refused and now aged 41 I’m very glad I didn’t bother. My teeth have never bothered me, one of them is actually sideways and I just laugh about it, it’s never held me back. At the end of the day it’s her body and if she changes her mind as an adult she can always get braces then.

Awakened22 · 04/02/2022 11:08

I was probably a similar age when I got them and hated them…I don’t think I smiled showing my teeth for 2 years! No-one else ever said anything or pointed them out and other friends had them so it was very much in my own head. It was worth it but can understand her shock.

In the school holidays could you treat her to getting her lashes/eyebrows done to draw the focus away from her teeth?

CosmosLily · 04/02/2022 11:12

Also - braces will fix her teeth for sure but they're not necessarily a permanent fix for everyone. I had mine for 2 years, did everything right, now my teeth are shifting again (I'm in my 20s). I don't personally mind because it's given me a little gap in my bottom teeth that I think looks quite cute, but if it was an issue I'd seek out Invisalign or similar.

There also used to be "clear" train track braces, so exactly the same principle but they weren't metal coloured. Still looked like you had braces on but was definitely less obvious, so that could also be an option. Teens nowadays are under so much pressure to look a certain way (more than when I was in school only 10 years ago and that was already more than enough) so I would definitely take her seriously and have her be apart of the decisions etc.

Bagelsandbrie · 04/02/2022 11:12

@FazedNotPhased

Fgs don't get them taken off, or give any indication that that's an option because right now she'll take it without thought for the consequences.

You're being a good parent by acknowledging her discomfort without dismissing it, but you also need to be the adult in this situation. She will adjust, it's just a shock. When she's older, she will delight in straight teeth. She will be filled with regret if you allow her to squander that opportunity without giving it a fair shot.

I think that’s a bit harsh. When you’re 14 and you feel like you look awful it really is terrible. Confidence is really important at that age and can cause long term issues.
RoyKentsChestHair · 04/02/2022 11:21

How has she got to 14 and indeed to the stage of having them fitted without ever having seen braces?! Confused

If she was expecting Invisalign type ones and actually got train tracks did the orthodontist not discuss treatment before they started? In my dentist they have before and after pics, plaster models with the brackets on, photos all over the place, they got the DCs to look at pics of what happens if you don’t brush properly and the discolouration that can cause. I’m just amazed that she’s got this far without ever having a discussion about her treatment.

Or was there a discussion where you suggested that she might be able to have Invisalign and she’s taken that as gospel? I know my XP went along with the idea that his DD could have white braces because that’s all she would agree to, and he could never say no. When the time came she ended up with metal ones but I can well imagine a situation where he told her she could have whatever she wanted and then the reality is, she couldn’t.

Original poster
MegCleary · 04/02/2022 11:24

She was happy with her looks which I was happy to hear as a parent.
We have not said out is an option, this my investigating space Smile
Her teeth were not bad and yes I think she was more on what celebs had not nhs.
She has ocd not active at present, so yes vulnerable mental health wise is a concern

OP posts:
ancientgran · 04/02/2022 11:27

@DontKeepTheFaith

Oh it’s horrible at first. Brace wax helps with the sore bits, soft foods for a few days, they get used to it very quickly.

Ds1 had braces and he always struggled with change and new things. He wanted them but if he’d been able to remove them, they would have been off and binned!

He got through it, first few days were tough but he got used to them and his teeth are amazing now. So beautifully straight and even.

Good luck

Always having brace wax was a must in this house.
underneaththeash · 04/02/2022 11:28

Can she just not have clear ones at the next check up?

megletthesecond · 04/02/2022 11:31

The first 48hrs was grim, 14yo DS was in tears.
He's 9 months in now and things are way better. No problems with tightening and he has a pharmacies worth of products to help with soreness and ulcers . His biggest drama is what colour bands to have each time.

Persuade her to stick with it. It gets better and it works.

Iamkmackered1979 · 04/02/2022 11:40

My son has had his a while now and his teeth look beautiful they should be tightened once more before they come off I think. His jaw teeth and face ache badly when hue got them on his then at checks. He’s also a self conscious lad but seems to be ok with them.

I had them too for 4 years and it’s hard but I hope your daughter is ok. It’s huge and they aren’t very pretty but they do work wonders - I had surgery before mine came off so the day they did was amazing I looked totally different to pre brace days. Hope you’re ok too op it’s stressful worrying about teenagers. Hope it all works out Flowers

SockFluffInTheBath · 04/02/2022 11:41

Another vote for the wax and lots of pain relief for the crushed head feeling for the first few days.

MrHavelIsHot · 04/02/2022 11:47

The orthodontist didn’t make it clear what the braces would look like?

One of my kids needed orthodontic treatment and the orthodontist went through all the options and what they would look like, the care needed, made us watch videos. I can imagine how shocked she is if this wasn’t done.

My child opted for Invisalign instead of metal braces and I think they made things much easier to cope with although obviously they do cost quite a lot, I’d recommend them if it’s an option for you. My partner had braces as a teen, he remembers the first couple of weeks being difficult but said it got a lot easier after that.

I hope she’s ok.