Too scared to drive!!!

[TooScaredToDrive]

Just that really. I passed my test 8 months ago after having it cancelled multiple times due to COVID. My lessons were sporadic and I would stop & start due to lockdowns and my test being rescheduled.

Finally passed (first time!) but I didn’t get a car straight away. I am disabled so needed some adjustments put into my car which took some time. Got my car two weeks ago and I am terrified!! I live in a busy city centre so even driving off from my apartment you go straight out onto a busy A road where traffic has filtered from the motorway. The road is also used as an access to the rest of the city so it is chaos, all of the time.

I have been out a few times with my DH but he works very long hours so it’s always dark when we go out and at the busiest. The petrol station is only around the corner and I needed to go and get petrol but I was too scared to go alone. I really need to get my confidence up as I have a lot of hospital appointments and I can’t use public transport alone so to get out and about I am completely reliant on other people.

Any tips on how to get my confidence up are greatly appreciated!

Book some refresher lessons.

Yes book a few refresher lessons or an advanced driving course?

Just to add we moved here after I passed my test too so no experience of driving around with my instructor! I’m completely in the dark with navigating these roads!

I know I can obviously drive as I wouldn’t have passed my test but I think the length of time it’s been plus the new roads is so scary. Also have never drove without an instructor either! My DH tried to take me out once when I was a learner but we stressed each other out so much we said never again.

I was thinking about P pass plates but I’ve read that it’s pretty much labelling your insecurities to other drivers so they do more harm than good. Anyone have any experience of that?

Oh and current wait time for refresher lessons or pass plus is 12 weeks, all still fully booked due to covid

I ended up with a complete phobia of driving after I passed my test. Took about two years before I even got in the driving seat. I started off just driving around the block and gradually went further and further. My dh sat in the car with me to start with until I felt more confident. I still get a bit anxious if I don’t know where I’m going but I’ve got a sat nav and I’ve driven all over now. Baby steps and work your way up to bigger drives. It’s practice so keep at it. The more you get out there the more comfortable you’ll feel. You can do it.

Can your husband drive you in the car to somewhere less busy but where there is something he can do for half an hour. He goes and gets his hair cut or walks round a park or whatever and you get half an hour to practice around these quiet roads.
If you then feel a bit more confident then you can drive home.
I think once you get going you will be fine.

Then just plan to go for a drive at the quietest times. Plan your route in advance with only left turns if possible.

It really is only practice that will get you past this - and if you passed first time you are likely to be proficient

Go out at 7am on a Sunday morning and practice. That is when the roads are likely to be nice and quiet. Use that to build up you confidence.

Go out at very antisocial hours to begin with. Very early in the morning, very late at night. Go around the block again and again, and then to the supermarket and back, or the hospital. Do it repeatedly as an exercise day after day, even if you’re scared. I learned as an adult and if I could have not bothered I would have been happy, but given that I did have to I was forced into driving every day and that helped.

Are there really no instructors who could fit in a couple of lessons without a 12-week wait? Tell them you’re happy to take last minute cancellations (if you are).

A sat nav with lane assist should really help in the city centre- saves you spending brain space working out what lane to be in!

Get up early on a sunday morning and drive when it is quiet.

Could dh drive you out of the main bit somewhere quiet and then you drive back a few times to get your confidence up?

Build up your confidence by driving around a few roads where you live, preferably on Sundays while it's still light.
Gradually it will become less stressful.

Some people are just nervous. I took me a good 6-7 months before I could drive every day. I started off driving to work at weekends and then twice a week when I had a late finish. I think I was nervous about traffic in rush hour and I only felt safe driving when the roads were relatively quiet. However, as with everything it gets easier when you get more confidence driving on your own.

I didn't pass my test until I was 35. It took me a over a year to be able to drive without being anxious. Go out early to start with, as soon as it's light on a Sunday morning, and just drive around. I got some P plates, which I think make people a bit more patient if you're being hesitant. It does get easier. 10 years on I drive 400 miles a week, a good proportion of that in lane 4 of the M25.

Thanks for all of the advice. Have booked out the early hours of Sunday morning to go for a spin. We went for a drive not long after I wrote this thread and I was a little better, got stuck on a couple of round abouts though so panicked.

I think what’s happening is I’m working myself into such a state pulling out of our apartment that the rest of the drive is going to shit (I used to do this in my driving lessons too). So definitely getting DH to drive somewhere near an estate. The problem with him though is that he works for an emergency service so he is very used to zipping in and out of traffic, very fast and generally good driving so is getting annoyed at me tootling along slowly.

My car actually has lane assist but this actually doesn’t kick in until you’re going 40mph and no chance of that around here with all of the congestion! It also has a built in sat nav which we haven’t used yet but will look and see if that has lane assist because it will be a huge help! Feeling a little less of a failure that I’ve reached my grand old age and still nervous now.