Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Chronic illness is the most boring thing on earth.

6 replies

SafeMove · 03/02/2022 14:10

I am sat in a hospital waiting room for the third time this week (when really I should be doing my job). It is looking like it will be another 3 hour wait. I am so bored of it. It isn't just feeling like death all the time and the worry (currently they are trying to work out if my ongoing gynae issues are cervical cancer) it's the waiting around, sitting on your own in pain for hours and trying the be really polite to hard working, over stretched medical staff when really you just want to curl up on the floor and cry/sleep. I don't even know why I am posting. I am so fed up. I just want to pick my kids up from school but it looks like I will be missing out on that again Sad my youngest only has 6 months left at primary school and these last days are being stolen by my defective fucking uterus.

OP posts:
misssunshine4040 · 03/02/2022 14:14

@SafeMove

I am sat in a hospital waiting room for the third time this week (when really I should be doing my job). It is looking like it will be another 3 hour wait. I am so bored of it. It isn't just feeling like death all the time and the worry (currently they are trying to work out if my ongoing gynae issues are cervical cancer) it's the waiting around, sitting on your own in pain for hours and trying the be really polite to hard working, over stretched medical staff when really you just want to curl up on the floor and cry/sleep. I don't even know why I am posting. I am so fed up. I just want to pick my kids up from school but it looks like I will be missing out on that again Sad my youngest only has 6 months left at primary school and these last days are being stolen by my defective fucking uterus.
This sounds so stressful and awful.

Is there an end point to your illness? Can you have a hysterectomy etc?

Hoping your symptoms are not cervical cancer

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 03/02/2022 19:54

Sending love OL. Hang in there.

Sonata13 · 03/02/2022 20:01

Also sending love, it sounds really hard and you are having to dig really deep to keep on enduring . Massive empathy. You are a brave, beautiful woman and you will get through this. I hope you're home now and resting as much as you can. I really hope that you find your answers and that you can start on the road to recovery.

BlissfullyIgnorant · 03/02/2022 21:14

When was your last smear?
Do you have symptoms?
Have you told nurses you're utterly depressed and just want to curl up, etc?
I'm not being unsympathetic. On the contrary, I've been in similar situations several times and I'm basically a (just about) walking shit show. The one time I got proper understanding was with a ward sister who checked in on me and I opened up. Well worth the convo. Can defo recommend the brutal brevity of the 'I feel fucking shit and need help' conversation starter

Original poster
SafeMove · 04/02/2022 11:09

Thank you all. Sorry, yesterday was a bit too much. I vented and then couldn't face reading any replies because I was scared basically. If someone had been 'you need to get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself' I think it would have tipped me over the edge.

Thank you all for being so lovely. It was wonderful to read. Honestly, I know people think its 'just' comments on the internet but reading your support has made me feel better. I have tried to talk to friends, family and my partner but none of them seem to get it as its 'women's issues'. The Gynae registrar examined me and could see blood oozing from my cervix and some white patches so she has swabbed me, did a blood test and put me on the 2 week pathway for a scan and colposcopy. Obviously she couldn't say either way if it was cervical cancer but she said that we will know more in the next couple of weeks.

I think I do need to open up to someone about the emotional impact. I have endo, adenomyosis and fibroids that caused severe anemia and heart palpitations and my liver has been inflamed, so I have been placed in a chemical menopause. But that has started post coital PV bleeding, weight loss and fatigue (and my hair is falling out). The Dr has said if the tests come back clear I can start HRT which is good. I didn't really talk about my mood but I definitely should have. Thanks for all your advice Flowers Sorry for being such an Eeyore yesterday!

OP posts:
Sonata13 · 04/02/2022 11:36

Thinking of you. It sounds like you are going through hell. I've been in those hospital corridors, for different reasons, so I get it , I really do. Know that you are very brave and that the people who love you often can't acknowledge your illness because it scares them. It can feel so lonely and sometimes you just want someone to understand. Well I understand, feeling that your life is being stolen is a more common experience than you think. But, you will get it back, and you will always have compassion for others. And that is the beautiful thing that will come from all this suffering. My heart felt best wishes.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread