Struggling this morning, just need a hand hold please

[Coteeee]

Messing up everything. I just cant seem to get myself strong and secure. I'm on antidepressants, had a load of time off work, counselling the full sh-bang.
Please tell me things get better.
I know logically things change all the time.
Im just so lonely.

Its a vicous circle - i get upset because im lonely and just want to connect, but because i get so upset i withdraw, so feel lonely.
I irritate people i love because im this way.

If i could snap out of it I would. Im just in this cycle. I know i need to make different decisions, think differently to get out of this cycle.
I feel like im grieving.
Please tell me things get better. Please tell me its possible to live a life where your not affected by anyone elses actions

So sorry you're feeling like this OP.

I recently had a mental health breakdown, was signed off work for four weeks and put on antidepressants. I also started counselling. I remember the fear of wondering if things would ever get better. But gradually in time.. things have got so much better. I still have the ldd bad day here and there but on the whole, I am a happy person again.

How long have you been going through this and how long have you been on the medication?

My medication didn't work initially and I had to increase the dose to feel the effects (by instruction of my doctor).

Its been a while. I went off work for 4 months. Been on the antidepressants roughly about the same amount of time. i do fitness
Worried about changing medication - id have to decrease these that im on and start something else which will then slowly increase and take time to work.

Mornings are the worse. Your username Morningstruggles is apt

I have no experience with depression but just wanted to jump on and give you a hand hold. I've had bad times, divorce related mostly but I'm pretty resilient. Generally a 'this is shit, but x, y, z will change it' and then I make a list and do it. Sometimes it's v small things like putting the hoover round, getting all the kids uniform for the week ready, making that annoying phonecall I've been putting off and then you get on a roll. Be nice to yourself, buy a book and lose yourself for a few hours, with tea and biscuits. Small things. Good luck.

I can so empathise. I made my username as I started a thread on how hard I was finding the mornings. They really are the hardest.

For me some things I found that helped were:

• some 20 minute Joe Wicks workouts
• opening all blinds/curtains in the mornings and letting fresh air in
• talking, talking, talking... I would be so open about what I was going through and almost everyone I spoke to had been through similar or knew somebody who had.I know you may not want to keep talking to those closest to you but you can talk on here, or other forums, mental health groups etc.
• cold water showers/baths.. if you look into this there's a lot online. It gives you a real high
• a daily walk
• I don't have many friends but made an effort to get involved in something in my community to meet people. I am not a social person and I was so scared but it helped me to feel a bit of a bounce in my step. I remember how proud I felt leaving the house and saying 'I'm going to meet x, y and z'. Could you see if there are any local groups.. book clubs or even mental health support groups. You are NOT alone.. even if sometimes you might feel it.

Do you have any support at work like a well-being team? Remember they are not allowed to discriminate or anything against you and you have every right to have time off sick like somebody would be a physical condition. I completed something called a Well-being Action Plan (it's a document provided by the charity Mind) which you complete and get your manager to sign .. it's all about your well-being at work and your boundaries etc.

I have to be really honest and say I think the thing that really got me better was the medication. I started on 20mg of citalopram and then increased to 40mg after about 6 weeks. It definitely took a good few months though to start feeling like myself again and even now I would still class myself as in recovery (my breakdown was in September). I do remember feeling so scared that the medication wouldn't work and that I would have to wean off and try something else. However with mental health there are sooo many medications and it really could be that your perfect fit is out there waiting to change your life. Alternatively it could be that the medication you are on just needs longer. Make sure you keep in revalue contact with your doctor about it.

Do you have support at home like friends and family?

Sorry for the long post but I just want you to know it WILL get better. Last year I was exactly where you are. Scared, lonely, isolating myself. And now I am like a different person.

Regular contact *

Oh also! I found what really helped me too was not going on social media and news websites (especially in the mornings) ... this just made me upset before I'd even started my day! It was hard at first but now I barely go on it at all. I am much happier not knowing all the crap that's going on in the world right now.

I also switched coffee to decaf as I realised the morning coffee just fuelled my anxiety. And stopped any alcohol as this just made me more depressed. Instead I would treat myself to fancy non alcoholic fizz like Schleur.

These are just small changes but I found they all added up and made a big difference overall.