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Please help me get out of this .....

5 replies

KindleBeKind · 31/01/2022 20:15

I'm reaching out to try and find some help but I'm not sure where to start. I've tried to talk to those closest to me but failed. I try to have the highest standards in everything I do. I work hard, I dress well, I have good manners, I take an interest in people and ask questions but it is all a show. Underneath I'm falling apart.

I have a pretty awful relationship with DH. He is father and I've never had a great relationship with his children. They are not children but are very immature young adults. If I go into the nitty gritty of the problems I'm pretty sure someone will tell me they're minor issues, or that I'm the one with the problem but all added together over 10 years I'm pretty traumatised. I have been bullied by them and their father. He works away all week and often weekends. He could be having an affair and I don't actually care.

I work in a very solitary job for a boss who's not interested in me as a person. I do a good job for him and that's all he wants - fair enough - but I see very few people and have no work colleagues.

I don't have a lot of friends but I've asked one I consider the closest and she has just cast aside my concerns and carried on talking about her own. I listen to her a lot and tried to go NC at Christmas which ended in disaster. She has a new boyfriend and very little else matters.

I tried to talk to my mum. I don't have my own children but my sister does and these children are her life. She barely knows me as she's taken zero interest in my life since my nephews came along.

I sound pretty sorry for myself and I am. I am considering the worst scenario. Depending on DH's work schedule it could be almost two weeks before I'm missed.

Packing my bags and going won't leave me in a better position as I'm alone most of the time anyway.

OP posts:
tobypercy · 31/01/2022 20:40

I'm not surprised you're feeling down Flowers

Can you get out and make some new friends? Maybe join some kind of social group?

Why2why · 31/01/2022 20:40

Really sorry to hear how you are feeling. My heart goes out to you.

May I encourage you to speak to The Samaritans? You may find just talking to someone who will listen helps.

Cottagepieandpeas · 31/01/2022 20:48

Yes Samaritans is a good idea www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

There’s always someone there to listen. And Mumsnet is pretty good for that too.

You sound really unhappy in your relationship. Would you be able to go to counselling or talk to your GP about support?

Lou98 · 31/01/2022 21:50

It sounds like you would definitely benefit from speaking to a GP or similar.

I think it would also do you wonders to maybe find a group to join that would interest you that you could make friends at.
Is there any interests you have? Walking groups seem to be quite a popular one round here or book clubs, cycling clubs etc. Find something that you're interested in and see if there's anywhere local to you that has meetings/clubs.

You've mentioned that your Husband and his kids have bullied you - I would definitely be looking to leave that relationship, it may not feel like it would be better right now but being around that won't be helping your mental health at all - you deserve more than that

MrsIglesias · 31/01/2022 22:12

This sounds really hard and lonely OP.

Have you ever tried therapy? Not to say there is something wrong with you, but to work out what you need and what your next steps might be. I found it so helpful.

Whatever you do I am so sorry about you feeling like this and I hope you can find peace and healing soon.

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