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Original poster

Cosleeping….?!

13 replies

JammyC · 31/01/2022 18:44

DH and I are at a loss as to what to do with our 3.5yr old. She slept wonderfully as a baby, and even into toddlerhood. But in the last 6 months or so she just keeps getting out of her bed and climbs in with us. Some nights it’s multiple times, others it’s not until 3 or 4 in the morning.

If we try to settle her back in her bed (often by lying with her) she sleeps for a bit then the cycle repeats, meaning we get almost no sleep.

We have recently resorted to me in the main bed, so she can co sleep with me if she needs to and DH in spare room. But this ultimately means he gets a wonderful sleep and I don’t and then it causes resentment and arguments. Regardless of which bed I’m in, she finds me so I’d rather stay in the comfy one!

We have tried stories on CD, various nightlights including gro clock, stars on the ceiling, classical music, white noise. None of these were needed as a baby or toddler. She just wants to sleep next to me.

I suppose I should love it but how long can we continue like this? She’s starting school later this year!

Does anyone else cosleeping out there with school aged kids?! Any tips on how to help her stay in her own room?

OP posts:
PaperMonster · 31/01/2022 18:58

Totally normal. I thought it wasn’t and tried all sorts to get mine to stay in her bed until I realised that this was ridiculous. So she sleeps in with me and OH sleeps in another room and we all get a good night’s sleep.

Original poster
JammyC · 31/01/2022 19:26

She starts off in her own bed but by midnight she’s usually shuffling by me. I just wondered how long we should continue before we try to encourage her into her own room. Or maybe she’ll decide herself?

OP posts:
deadrave · 31/01/2022 19:29

My 3.5 year old also spends all night in bed with us. Like your daughter he starts school in September! I keep thinking he needs to be in his own room consistently and then think about trying to make him stay in his own room but then also wonder whether he will just decide one day that’s what he wants. Just wanted to let you know you’re not on your own with this.

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YellowLemonz · 31/01/2022 19:31

3 yo and he's in with me.
But tbh, I love it.
We are all well rested and don't want to spoil that right now 😅
My friends daughter was the same and made her own mind up to go back to her bed, think she was 4.5.

Montgomerystubercles · 31/01/2022 19:36

2.5 yo is in with us and 5.5 yo often joins us in the middle of the night. I've always said she is welcome in my bed but did emphasise that she has to be quiet and I rarely wake up, just find her snuggled next to me in the morning/next wake up!

20viona · 31/01/2022 19:41

I hate it when my daughter comes in my bed. I went through a rough patch when we took the side off the cot she was constantly walking into our room expecting to come in our bed. I stuck to my guns and walked her back every time in silence and tucked her in and left. First few nights it was 10 times and then less and less. Now she also has a gro clock and she understands she doesn't leave her room until it's yellow. She gets excited in the morning we have to do a 'yellow dance' lol.

pairsinparis · 31/01/2022 19:44

Ours has gone through stages. He is 4.5- he stopped coming in when he was about 3, and has started coming in again recently.

2 year old comes in every night, wakes up and toddles in.

That's four in the bed most nights it's a squeeze but I think they'll grow out of it

Original poster
JammyC · 31/01/2022 19:52

I have to admit I’m really really grouchy with no sleep and have on occasions told her off firmly for getting up and down like a yoyo. I’m not proud of it. Often I then feel terrible and she sleeps several nights next to me no questions asked.

She does talk a lot in her sleep so I wonder if she’s having bad dreams perhaps

OP posts:
Doo5 · 31/01/2022 19:59

You could try a sticker reward chart. The first time she stays all night she earns a sticker. Then 2 nights in a row another sticker and build it up. Lots of praise and let her pick the special stickers and put them on the chart. When she does a week in a row, can be a bigger reward or a big sticker.

blyn72 · 31/01/2022 20:07

We co-slept at your daughter's age, it wasn't a problem and we all slept well. Mine would slide in between me and husband and then sleep.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 31/01/2022 20:08

My sons 5, 6 in the summer and he comes in bed with us every nightHmm always starts off in his own bed but give it till 12/1pm and he's in.

I did mind but now I worry if he doesn't come and get in ( which is rare! )

I do secretly like co sleeping with him.

WildGeece · 31/01/2022 20:13

Are you not getting sleep because she's disturbing you through the night in bed together or because you're getting up to put her back to bed?

I sleep with our 3 year old from his first wake of the night (he starts off in his bed), which can be anytime from 11pm on. My DH sleeps in the spare room by himself. My son wakes multiple times in the night & I found this to be the least bad option. I am quite tired but it's better than getting up & down throughout the night. I console myself with the thought that it won't be forever & look after myself other ways (go to bed early, get my DH to do the mornings with him to let me lie in when possible, strong coffee).

Can't offer any other advice, but you're not alone!

NotVictorianHonestly · 31/01/2022 20:18

Does she sleep better and therefore disturb you less if she's in with you all night?

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