Best way to split household finances?

[Howtosplitit]

So myself and DP have just bought a house and I’m wondering how we split the expenses.

I was at uni but have had to take some time out until August for maternity (our baby is 4 months old) so I won’t be receiving my student loan which was a big part of my income.

I am disabled so receive legacy benefit ESA and PIP which amounts to about £700 a month. As well as child benefit but that goes on the baby for milk, nappies, wipes etc.

Partner works a full time job and on a basic week earns about £400. He earns more if he works away. So his income fluctuates between £1600-£2000 per month.

Essentially I’m going to be a SAHM for the next 5/6 months and I’m wondering how we go about paying the household bills? How much should I contribute from my much lower income?

Haven’t moved into the house yet but have estimated the total costs for all bills including food to be about £1100-£1200 per month.

TIA

In your situation, the fairest thing to do would be to pool it all, pay the bills etc, have a budget for food etc, and then split disposable income 50/50 each.

Whatever you do, please don't end up with him paying for all the mortgage, and you paying for all the baby costs and childcare. If you aren't married and split up, he could claim he's entitled to more from the house as has paid all the mortgage (never mind that you paid all the bills/food/child related costs).

Is the mortgage in both your names with a 50/50 stake?

Yes, mortgage in both our names and both saved for the deposit.

I’ll be going back to uni in August and I’ll be qualified by May next year and the norm is to have a job lined up for graduating so it’ll only be this way for a year or so before I’m working full time (I’ll be earning more than him then as well, even if I was to work 4 days, I’d still be earning around the same as him). Childcare is going to be spilt between both our families for my remaining year at university so not many costs associated with that for now.

I had thought about pooling and then splitting what was left but I felt like that would be him “keeping” me and it didn’t seem fair. But also didn’t seem fair that I be left with no money for myself each month.

He wouldn't be "keeping" you. You are both contributing to your family equally. You, through childcare and your income. Him through his income. Do not undervalue what you bring to your family.
If you are a family, pool your resources.

I would say split it by % you earn so if you bring home £800 and he £1600. He pays twice as much of bills than you. Though you should both save some for rainy day holidays etc

@Voice0fReason

He wouldn't be "keeping" you. You are both contributing to your family equally. You, through childcare and your income. Him through his income. Do not undervalue what you bring to your family. If you are a family, pool your resources.

Couldn't have put it better.

OP think about how many hours you'll be working looking after your child, housework etc. You deserve to have equal disposable income and equal time off to him.

Anything less implies you are a less important person than him, and since you recently produced a child which you both presumably wanted, that's a pretty awful thing for either he or you to think

Looking at the figures after bills you have 1100/1500 per month left over

I would split this into £500 spends each - £100 savings for rainy day stuff and the additional £400 into a different account as and when paid.

That way you’ll be used to living without it but can build up a cushion or holiday fund.

It you do this for a year!

Thank you everyone.

I think the fairest way is to pool and then split the remainder. For clarification, he hasn’t said I’m lesser than him because I’ll be staying at home. The “keeping” me was my thinking. I’ve always had my own money and never been in a serious long term relationship. I worked until I became very ill a few years ago and then I’ve used the time to recover, receiving ESA to study to do a job that will afford me a good standard of living but also will be (hopefully) sympathetic if I relapse at any point. I’ve paid my own bills for years and it’s hard to get my head round the fact we’re a “team” and that means he picks up the slack while I’m off on maternity.

But you're looking after his child while he works away.

If you're in any doubt as to the value of this, think about how much a nanny would cost. You would probably need more than one and it would probably cost more than he earns, even just for his half of childcare costs.

@SC215

In your situation, the fairest thing to do would be to pool it all, pay the bills etc, have a budget for food etc, and then split disposable income 50/50 each.

Definitely this, and don't feel bad or that you're being kept, you're raising a family together.

Joint account. Both pay everything in, everything comes out of it.
How else would you do it? You both do what you can.

Option 1: pool everything and have equal amounts of discretionary income. Note that child expenses and costs associated with being a sahm or even pregnancy should be budgeted for, not included in your discretionary income category.

Option 2: he pays you half of your lost wages, then you split the bills proportional to your resulting adjusted incomes. Again, all child related expenses have to be included in the split bills.

Maternity is a 24 hour job with no breaks no sick pay and no holidays! You are worth every penny!!