When long term friendships change

[Buttermuffin]

I just want to talk to others who may have experienced a long term friendship change.

I've realised since covid that my closest friendship has changed. We've been close for over 20 years since uni. Been through deaths, divorce , kids growing up. We live about an hour from one another and meet in a central town every few month.

But, I noticed about a year ago that it's always me initiating contact.

I've just had a feeling that she's pulling away. I wanted to see if she initiated contact after a message I sent 2 months ago was unanswered. Nothing.

I'm pretty sure it's over or changed at least.

I've just never had a long term friendships before as close as this.

I feel really sad about it. I'm getting on for 50 and don't have many friends these days. I did at uni, when the DCs were young and other points. But not now. She was the one friend I had that was seperate to DHs group of friends.

I can't talk to DH about it.

Anyone else been through this?

There have been a few similar threads in recent weeks. I think many people have come out of this pandemic a bit different, or are still finding their way through, or supporting others.

I've lost a couple of long term friends but I hope they'll find their way back in time. It's painful. My birthday isn't far off and I'm hoping that will re establish a bit of contact.

Perhaps pick up the phone to your friend. That sounds like an important connection and she may be having struggles you know nothing about.

Thanks, but I think I'll leave it a bit longer. I don't want a friendship out of obligation. I feel ok about it. I imagine it may be one of those phases where you get to the point the DCs are growing up and friendship change. Less in common perhaps , or just more time..I'd like more friends , but I don't want close friends again. I'm not sure I need it anymore.

Yes I understand this, I think Covid has changed a lot of friendships, similar situation but from the opposite perspective, I have a long term friend who wants our state border kept shut, I want them to open, she is desperately trying to keep our friendship going but I just dont really know how we move forward when we are on such polar opposite views.

Sorry to hear that Patanpons. In my case, there's been no differing views that I am aware of. She wasn't keen on the vaccine, but ended up having it. I wouldn't have had a view either way if she had or hadn't so it's not that.

Anyone?