Learning to drive…again in my mid 40s

[MrsBean21]

So, I took many lessons in my early 20s, failed my test a couple times and basically gave up. Now 20 odd years later, single mum to two kids under 5. I’m regretting now not continuing and actually passing my test.

I don’t now how confident I’d feel now driving with two little ones in the car but part of me feels I should learn to drive and I think I want to, it would be handy definitely a few years down the line with the kids.

When I was with Ex-partner, I bought us a car, thinking I’d learn again. He persuaded me, you don’t need to bother learning, you won’t like driving in London I’ll do the driving… what a fool I was why didn’t I get in with it. He’s got the car now.
Anyways, looking for some positive stories from you who learnt later in life, with little ones. I think it might ease my nerves and encourage me to take next step and get things going.
Thank you

Hi OP I have two DC and also live in a big city. I'm 37 and due to take my test in March so haven't actually passed.
I'm hoping that it'll make my life so much easier once I've passed. No more herding kids onto public transport or spending a fortune on Ubers. Think of the freedom of being able to go places directly. I 100% encourage you to do it. Good luck!

I'm 30 I have a dd who's 12. I started learning at 21, but didn't like my instructor and gave up.
DP did all the driving for years, we wojld always talk about when I could drive, but I'm my head I knew it wasn't something I thought I could do.
September 2019 I started learning, was ready for my test by march 2020 (we all know how that went) after 2 lockdowns and lots of lessons I passed in December.
Honestly it's been life changing. I don't need to rely on anyone, I can go where I want, me and dd just nip out for snacks or a mcDs. I go to the gym.
I wish I'd have done it years ago.
Everyone says it but Honestly if I can do it, anyone can. I had no confidence in myself at all.

@Nutrigrainygoodness

I'm 30 I have a dd who's 12. I started learning at 21, but didn't like my instructor and gave up. DP did all the driving for years, we wojld always talk about when I could drive, but I'm my head I knew it wasn't something I thought I could do. September 2019 I started learning, was ready for my test by march 2020 (we all know how that went) after 2 lockdowns and lots of lessons I passed in December. Honestly it's been life changing. I don't need to rely on anyone, I can go where I want, me and dd just nip out for snacks or a mcDs. I go to the gym. I wish I'd have done it years ago. Everyone says it but Honestly if I can do it, anyone can. I had no confidence in myself at all.

Nutrigrainy are you me?! My story is so similar it’s spooky!

Go for it OP. The most important thing is that you keep trying. It is more difficult when you’re older, I think you’re naturally a bit more confident when you’re younger.
The freedom driving has brought me is just amazing and so worth all the stress of learning.
I went for automatic and it was definitely easier. Many people have this old fashioned view that autos are hard to find or much more expensive but I honestly haven’t found that to be the case.

Driving will be a huge bonus, particularly when the dc's get to teenage years.
Go for it! You've got this!!

I learnt later in life. Had taken lessons as a teenager, but gave up for various reasons. Started learning in my late 30s again. Failed 3 times. Passed when I was 40, my daughter was 7 months and my son was 2. I don't drive too far, but I get us from A to B. It's so good for having to go to the shops or parks, etc without relying on public transport or taxis. I am an anxious driver but I am proud of myself for doing it. Go for it 🙂

You can do this! I started learning whilst young and stopped. Started again in my 20s and stopped. Started again in my 30s and kept going until I passed on the fourth attempt. I found it so hard.

It is expensive and difficult but I truly believe it's a life skill. I also did Pass plus to help with motorways.

Once I had passed I didnt know if i could do it with my DS in the car so i did very short journeys to start with.

You can do it!

My mother first learned in her 40s, and she was always a nervous, worrier type. I wouldn’t say she ever became super confident, but she certainly enjoyed the freedom of having her own car - she didn’t give it up until her very early 80s.

Go for it, OP, and the best of luck - many have done the same.

As for not passing first time, or even the 2nd, FWIW both dds at about 18 took 3 goes to pass. If that happens, think of it as I did then - more (expensive!) lessons just meant they’d had that much more valuable experience when they were finally let loose on the roads.

And BTW, whatever you think as a new learner, one day I’m quite sure you really will realise that you’ve driven from A to B without even thinking about the actual process, because it’s become so automatic.

Thank you all for sharing with me. I just need to get on a do and stop procrastinating about it . I’m just a worrier but hopefully once I start lessons again my confidence will grow. Plus it feels this time round there’s more of a purpose, does that make sense?
I feel it would really benefit our lives. It definitely would give us a lot more freedom.

Driving instructors have waiting lists. Get on some and get your theory booked as there is a wait for that too

Didn’t start driving til my mid40s. I’m mid 50s now and love driving. I live in a city and drive happily everywhere. Have also driven in France/Spain. Find an instructor you’re comfortable with who is very calm and who makes you feel confident. Best of luck.

Plan it out. Focus on lessons in an Automatic - these may appear more expensive on paper but you will progress much, much faster. I know a lot of ladies in their 50s and 60s who took their tests after divorces & nobody I know ever needed more than 10 lessons before getting test ready in an automatic. Those who learned in manuals often needed double the lessons as a minimum and eventually ended up driving an auto anyway.

Commit to lessons. Don’t give them up this time. Try and take more than once weekly lessons. I personally preferred driving twice a week for 2 hours at a time as it allowed me to practice everything. But this meant I was test ready after just 2 weeks. Every lesson included every manoevre, roundabouts and junctions, and one day I did A Roads while on another I did country roads. It meant I got so much experience.

Buy a car and see if your family or friends can take you out regularly. Even if it’s just for 10-15 mins, regular driving will give you confidence.

@Ozanj, ahh that’s I’ve been thinking… do I go manual again or try automatic.

Would be interested to know what others have gone for?

I’ve looked into 3 local driving instructors and plan to call later today just to see what their waiting lists like. Then I will look into the theory process and get going on that.

Thank you everyone for sharing.
I’m giving myself this year to get this achieved. 😊

I have driven manuals and failed my test 3 times. I have now got an automatic car and it is so much easier!

I forgot to say, I'm in my early 50s.

It's never too late.
I had a few lessons in my 20s then moved to London where a car was pretty pointless. I moved out of London when I was 51, had further lessons and took my test . Passed first time but it was automatic. .

My aunt learned in her 60s when my uncle became ill and could no longer drive. Again, automatic.

Good luck OP, you can do it!