i will do anything to feel better

[MsAnnFrope]

I've just finished a course of steroids for a serious chest infection, i'm still very weak but worse my mental health has plummeted. Like beyond control mood swings, thoughts of self harm. I'm on sertraline for depression which is normally very effective.

i have a ton of commitments this week and i'm praying i test positive for covid so that everything will just go away. i'm in no way fit for working but due to deadlines I have to.
what can i do for the next 24 hours to try and feel better.
at this point i would do anything.
i have a DH who is very kind and a DD who i really need to hide this from as she is only 9.

Vicks inhalation
The strongest multivitamins you can find
As much rest as you can
Cancel as much as you can
Remember worrying is a pointless emotion
Close your eyes and feel for five minutes everything going smoothly and well, really see in detail you doing much better than you had imagined
See your lungs filling with warm golden healing light. Congratulate yourself on breathing so freely and practise long, slow breaths.
Everything is as it is meant to be.
In a year you won’t remember this moment because this too shall pass.

Every time these feelings of pain and self doubt come up picture yourself smiling, strong happy and healthy.
Remember how kids are? They wake up everyday feeling awesome and go off to have exciting new adventures? Do that. Ignore the inner voice and keep that image of golden light around you at all times.

thank you @whatwhywhenwhere that made me cry more snotty ugly tears.
i'd love to have exciting new adventures, i feel like i've been trapped in a cave for the whole of january. when i went for walks i felt so exhausted it ofset the benefits of the exercise and fresh air.
this mental health dip is making me question my whole life

You are welcome and I hope you feel better soon . I’ve noticed chest infections really do a number on mental health and I wonder if there is a connection- breathing is life in a very real sense and realising how vulnerable we are can really affect mental health.

I had a brainstorm about a year ago- the person who feels terrible and can’t go on is also the person who is strong, loved, capable and successful but with different thoughts. So I choose the good thoughts-I hope you can too

Being ill is hard and makes even mentally very robust people feel low. If you’re prone to depression or anxiety then being ill is really testing. I’d say that if you’re still very poorly after your chest infection, you need to call in sick and get yourself well.

If that’s really not possible then you need to be so kind to yourself. Very early nights, get dh to do everything at home, lots of easy meals and a vitamin d supplement.

Keep reminding yourself that this will pass. You’ll feel lots stronger very soon and then you’ll be much more able to cope mentally. Sending hugs.

Steroids can cause MH side effects such as mood swings. I found just a day’s worth gave me awful anxiety. So take that into account, as will pass.

Things that always help me but that I forget to do well when I'm feeling v low:

Shower and fresh pyjamas each evening. Clean fresh bed sheets. Only watch things that you find light and funny on TV, nothing too heavy. Completely avoid the news or social media until you're feeling more robust. Read a book. Drink plenty of water as dehydration makes everything feel worse. Get outside, even just for 1 min.

Steroids can have major effects on mood and behaviour. Hopefully now you’ve finished them you will start to feel better.

Thank you. I made lovely curry and am watching taskmaster with DH.
I’m just so damn tearful and tired and my todo list is growing the longer I’m ill.
I read about the steroid side effects but stupidly didn’t think they would happen to me

Let yourself REST REST and REST.

Honestly I was feeling very ill, tried to push myself and nearly ended up in hospital. OP I am worried that you are tearful bc you know you aren’t well enough but don’t feel you can let anyone down. If you are too ill, you are too ill. It’s ok to admit it. Be hinest, do you think you aren’t well enough for work mext week?

Sorry about typos

You are right. I cried on DH because I still feel really exhausted and unwell. My mum and friend who I saw yesterday are both really worried I’m not ok and they are not usually fussers.
I have a really lovely manager at work but I am scared of letting people down.
I feel like I’ve failed at this year already

You are not well enough to work. I've only had a chest infection once and it took me two weeks to feel better and all I did was shower and sleep.

If you go back to work now you will be off again soon. You have to rest and be in a place where you can focus. You will get there but not just yet. You have not failed.

I went back for 2 days this week and fell asleep both days at 4pm. Then I booked the rest of the week off.
I have t had a day where I have stayed awake all day for 3 weeks