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Original poster

What is the mindset of spiteful people?

28 replies

Teadrinker11 · 29/01/2022 16:03

Why are some people so spiteful? What's the mentality? Why do some people deliberately go out of their way to cause trouble? Why does drama follow some people everywhere?

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 29/01/2022 16:04

Empty, unfulfilling lives meaning they have to create their own entertainment

IncompleteSenten · 29/01/2022 16:08

They're normally resentful, jealous, angry people who have some chip on their shoulder about something.

SallyWD · 29/01/2022 16:10

I think a lot of it is jealousy/envy. Probably low self esteem too.

Violetroselily · 29/01/2022 16:11

Single acts of spitefulness could be an extreme reaction to their own upset/anger/hurt. Lashing out because they want someone else to feel the same way.

But some people are just wankers and like to see others suffer

KatherineJaneway · 29/01/2022 16:14

They are bitter about their own lives and want to release that feeling.

midsomermurderess · 29/01/2022 16:15

Unhappy, bitter people who want to bring others down. Hurting others makes them feel better, bigger, in control.

Peachandpearl · 29/01/2022 16:15

'If I can't have it no one can' like jealous kids who break other peoples toys. Spiteful types are the worst

FabulousFlamingo · 29/01/2022 16:21

I read a quote somewhere once that said 'all negativity comes from jealousy' and it's really stuck with me. I think it's very true.

KohlaParasaurus · 29/01/2022 16:28

Often they truly believe most people think the way they do. The person who does you a bad turn just for the sake of it believes you would do the same to them if you thought you could get away with it, even if you're the kindest and most forgiving person in the world. Which makes being on the sharp end of a spiteful act even more unpleasant.

IcicleIcicle · 29/01/2022 16:36

I agree it's usually jealousy/dissatisfaction with their own lives, that said I am dissatisfied with mine but it doesn't make me spiteful towards others! Jealousy of what other people have is not an emotion I understand tbh, I wish lots of things about my life and circumstances were different but I don't begrudge others their happiness or achievements.

So I don't really know what makes some people spiteful but what I have noticed is that the older I get the more I can see it in peoples faces if they are that kind of person. I avoid those people like the plague, they're really not people I need in my life.

nellly · 29/01/2022 16:40

I was a very nasty spiteful teen in lots of ways. I was being treated terribly at home and being sexually abused daily. I was so angry and hurting physically and emotionally and honestly just wanted to watch the world burn. Cruelty was the only language I knew. I regret my actions now and made amends where I could after lots of therapy and time

DillonPanthersTexas · 29/01/2022 16:46

Some people are just cunts.

I used to be far too nice in trying to understand the mindset of spiteful people. I thought there must be some kind of explanation or mitigating reason that would account for such behaviour. Sadly after many years I have just come to the simple conclusion that they are just cunts, completely lacking in self awareness or any empathy. When i meet new people and realise that they are showing a pattern of spiteful behaviour I just remove them from my social circle. It's just too much hassle having cunts in your life.

SnowWhitesSM · 29/01/2022 16:49

Projection of their own insecurities and low self esteem.

Other peoples behaviours towards us aren't usually personal. It's all in their own head.

Tufty383 · 29/01/2022 16:57

I've become a bit spiteful but I keep it in my head. I didn't used to be. I used to be really kind and caring, I was always there for people, always thought the best of people then I became really poorly, turned my life upside down and I realised that all the people I thought so much of and cared so much for didn't really give a shit about me. It does change who you are as a person, its made me a bit angry and bitter.

TheWomandestroyed · 29/01/2022 16:59

@Tufty383

I've become a bit spiteful but I keep it in my head. I didn't used to be. I used to be really kind and caring, I was always there for people, always thought the best of people then I became really poorly, turned my life upside down and I realised that all the people I thought so much of and cared so much for didn't really give a shit about me. It does change who you are as a person, its made me a bit angry and bitter.
I don't think that makes you spiteful at all.
Santaslittlemelter · 29/01/2022 17:02

I think I can answer this. Damaged. Damaged mindsets lead to spiteful people. I have honestly found that I dont get dragged into shit or affected by other people shit by thinking like this.

Having said that, the core people in my life who I depend on are not spiteful so maybe its easy for me to say.

Lipsandlashes · 29/01/2022 17:04

I work with a woman who is extremely senior in the organisation - way, way, way more senior than I could be in my wildest dreams. Unfortunately I do have to work with her in some small capacity. She seems to have taken a real dislike to me and tries to catch me out and be as nasty and belittling as she can towards me. I am absolutely no threat to her whatsoever. I can only guess that it’s because she is on her own.

IncompleteSenten · 29/01/2022 17:14

@Tufty383

I've become a bit spiteful but I keep it in my head. I didn't used to be. I used to be really kind and caring, I was always there for people, always thought the best of people then I became really poorly, turned my life upside down and I realised that all the people I thought so much of and cared so much for didn't really give a shit about me. It does change who you are as a person, its made me a bit angry and bitter.
FlowersFlowers

I'd be hurt and angry too.

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 29/01/2022 17:21

They are so jealous of everything and everybody that they make themselves ill. The stress of being spiteful and so jealous shows in their faces.. Nothing they have is enough! Imagine living your life being so jealous and going to an early grave being like this.

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 29/01/2022 17:22

Toxic narcissistic people... Glad I am not one.

SnowWhitesSM · 29/01/2022 17:35

I think a lot of 'toxic' people are damaged tbh. No one wants to be unhappy and if you haven't had a secure childhood it's hard to unpick things and take accountability in adult life. Taking accountability leads to happiness imo as you accept yourself. If you've never accepted yourself and been loved for who you are, you are going to be miserable and feel jealous of others happiness. Jealousy is a natural human response to that. If anyones reading this and feels like it relates to them please be compassionate to yourself. Learn how to feel your emotions and unpick your stories.

Dontbeamugallyourlifesucker · 29/01/2022 17:54

35SnowWhitesSM
Such a lovely post😍 it explains a lost of things.. You seem a lovely caring person x

EmmaH2022 · 29/01/2022 18:00

@Tufty383

I've become a bit spiteful but I keep it in my head. I didn't used to be. I used to be really kind and caring, I was always there for people, always thought the best of people then I became really poorly, turned my life upside down and I realised that all the people I thought so much of and cared so much for didn't really give a shit about me. It does change who you are as a person, its made me a bit angry and bitter.
There's an ocean between occasionally thinking mean things and actually creating bad situations though.
WhoWants2Know · 29/01/2022 23:17

I think some people are able to emotionally distance themselves from other people in order to get what they want. If they don't view people as "real" then they don't have to feel guilty if their actions cause upset.

Cam2020 · 29/01/2022 23:27

Fragile ego. They perceive themselves as victims or having been wronged IME.