New employee whose work is good but very quiet/shy

[quietbutgood]

What would you do if you were the line manager for someone in their 20s in an entry-level role who started 4 months ago and is working to a really good standard and is working at a level higher than expected for that role, yet is really quiet and shy?

They are able to speak up in meetings but their contributions are small and matter-of-fact and they don't really join in with the small talk. They attend some but not all of the team socials, but they are very quiet during these. Sometimes instead of joining the team for lunch they will go off to a coffee shop on their own.

The rest of the team is very close and very sociable.

The job is office-based with the employee working on a variety of projects for clients. Part of the role involves presenting work to clients in meetings which this employee hasn't yet done but will need to soon.

It's difficult to tell with a reverse. We'd need to hear your bosses opinion. Maybe it's not all as good as you think it is?

I'd be exactly the same so I sympathize, but it's impossible to comment when all we have is your evaluation of how good you are at your job/how well you're fitting in etc.

Does their lack of sociability impact their work now, in the upcoming presentations etc? What sort of client presentations are they? I mean it's different if they're usually big productions, or more technical, factual ones.

If the former, and the colleague is going to very likely be underwhelming in comparison to colleagues in terms of what clients expect, then talk to them. Tell them exactly how happy you are with their work, so far. And then ask how they feel meetings go for them. And then move on to say you've noticed they might want some help in presenting ideas in a way that clients will interpret as matching the quality of their work.

Sorry that's a bit light on detail. Point is if you value this team member then letting them feel confident about what they're producing already could give them a firmer basis to move forward with areas that are a bit weaker.

If clients will accept a to the point, factual presentation - and many will appreciate this type of presentation - then let him/her just get on with it. Sounds like they'll do well!

One point though. This person is naturally to the point. The best communication style is often a similar one - not too verbose or fluffy. Don't beat around the bush. Gentle, but direct.

Nothing, I’m very quiet but I’m really good at public speaking and presentations as I know what I’m talking about. It’s a totally different thing to interacting socially, at least in my experience. They sound similar to me, anyway I’m not sure why a meeting needs small talk.

I'd do nothing but then I don't see someone who's quiet and reserved as a personality flaw that needs to be corrected, some people are reserved some are not, it would be awful if we were all the same..

Are you going to be up to presenting confidently and articulately when you start needing to do this? Is your shyness in any way impacting on your relationship with colleagues and ability to do work that needs team participation and communication?

The only thing I'd be somewhat concerned about is if your interactions with clients are likely to involve going out to lunch or similar social situations. You want to be confident so that you are also able to converse about things other than work.

If the employee is able to do their job, I don't see the problem. They might be quiet in meetings, but from what you've said they seem to be performing well overall. Sometimes it can take a while to fit in and this isn't easy for a young person sometimes. Also, might be they just want to switch off during their break, which I'd say is a reasonable thing.

OP read up about different personality types and don't ever feel being quiet is a negative personality trait. Own it. It's what makes you you.

What's the problem?

Not everyone has to be or wants to be a social butterfly, if their work is up to standard and they can communicate well enough with their peers and superiors on a work-based level I see no issue at all!

There’s nothing wrong with being shy and introverted. As you say their work is of a high standard

Adjust your own expectations rather than trying to change someone else

Hi op carry on being you , not everyone is outgoing.

It was a pretty obvious reverse, OP!

You’re fine, don’t worry. But do push yourself to socialise perhaps a little more than you’d prefer - team dynamics are important and getting to know people takes time but us worthwhile. Try to speak up as much as you can in meetings - building confidence in your own worth is important.

How do you feel about the client presentations?

I wasn’t diagnosed autistic until my late-40s.

I spent my 20s and 30s doing a “great job”, but left one appraisal bawling because my manager told me it was all about perception and “quietly efficient” was sadly seen as less valuable than the loud-mouthed bellend badgering everyone to get pissed on a Friday night.

Thank fuck for remote working because I’m in my element. I’m an excellent public speaker, confident and articulate.

I don’t however have ANY desire to make small talk.

Nothing, sounds like my kind of person.

You are overthinking things. I understand, I do too.

I have someone in my team like you. She works hard and performs each task really well. However, she is incredibly quiet to the point where she doesn't speak up in team meetings unless someone specifically asks her a question. She doesn't contribute to any conversation without being specifically invited to (I ensure she is invited to speak regularly, otherwise she tends to get ignored).

I don't think less of her for this, however, it definitely affects the tasks I distribute to the team. If there's an analytical task that will take concentration and focus, I ask her to do it with confidence she will deliver to my expectations. I will not ask her to engage with colleagues outwith my team (which is a huge part of our role). I have asked this of her before and have see her discomfort and was disappointed in her output. It was simply outwith her comfort zone. I ended up having to do this as I didn't want to pass it to one of her colleagues and perhaps risk her embarrassment.

This is difficult as some of her colleagues may need practice in the type of tasks she is comfortable doing but don't always get the chance to.

Also, she has no opportunity to raise her profile in the organisation and show people what she's really capable of so I do believe it will go against her in the longer term when she pursues an internal promotion perhaps.

Nothing ! What is their crime ? Being quiet and shy, not everyone is loud and outgoing. I'm quiet and shy and have managed to hold a job down for 21 years without it being a big issue.

@MeridasMum

I have someone in my team like you. She works hard and performs each task really well. However, she is incredibly quiet to the point where she doesn't speak up in team meetings unless someone specifically asks her a question. She doesn't contribute to any conversation without being specifically invited to (I ensure she is invited to speak regularly, otherwise she tends to get ignored).

I don't think less of her for this, however, it definitely affects the tasks I distribute to the team. If there's an analytical task that will take concentration and focus, I ask her to do it with confidence she will deliver to my expectations. I will not ask her to engage with colleagues outwith my team (which is a huge part of our role). I have asked this of her before and have see her discomfort and was disappointed in her output. It was simply outwith her comfort zone. I ended up having to do this as I didn't want to pass it to one of her colleagues and perhaps risk her embarrassment.

This is difficult as some of her colleagues may need practice in the type of tasks she is comfortable doing but don't always get the chance to.

Also, she has no opportunity to raise her profile in the organisation and show people what she's really capable of so I do believe it will go against her in the longer term when she pursues an internal promotion perhaps.

I think this is an important point, and absolutely, I’ve seen it go against such people in promotion situations.

Well, first of all, we hate reverses. Second of all, it's none of their business. Keep working to the level you have been, you can be as quiet and shy as you like.

I would promote you. Would much rather have someone capable of undertaking tasks efficiently and also confident enough not to need to be part of the lunch crowd on my team.

I’m a lot like you but I’m autistic. Forced socialising is painful for me - I don’t want to spend my lunch hour making chit chat.

You mentioned presentations - how are you feeling about that? I absolutely wouldn’t have been able to stand up and deliver a confident, engaging presentation in my 20s but now I’m in my 30s, I’m more comfortable and I teach university classes, present at research conferences, organise and chair events. It’s a skill that can be learned.

Do nothing! Sounds like you have the perfect employee there.
Some people, myself including go to work to actually work.

I'm quiet and it seems to unnerve people, no idea why but I can't change, it's who I am. Public speaking, client lunches no problem, I'm not shy, just quiet.

Give them time - they are new, young and probably still finding their feet. They might be fine presenting to clients as well.

Trying to infiltrate an already close knit group can be very daunting. Maybe ask one of the existing team members to try talking to her individually rather than her having to take on the whole group.

why does this make you uncomfortable OP?

I totally get where you're coming from, I had 'quiet' said about me as if it were an insult in my first job. Unfortunately as I found out the line between "you're too quiet" and "calm down dear!" is quite thin. In my experience the range of behaviour that is acceptable for a woman to display in the workplace is so narrow that I've yet to find a way to consistently fit into it. You may need to work on your presence a bit more, which is what I did so that I still didn't speak unless it was to add value but when I did speak it was with a sense of confidence. My current employer notices and values that but sadly not all do.