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My neighbour is bullying me

12 replies

Danioy501 · 28/01/2022 14:57

I moved into my new (rented) house a week before Christmas, myself and my daughter. We’d escaped abuse and wanted somewhere to restart our lives happily.
Everything was great, until a week ago. It became apparent my neighbour had been talking badly about me on a Facebook group for the area, it’s a small village and everyone is cliquey so it seems.
My initial panic is that I may be identified if my ex ever reads it, but this turned to anger that she was saying things about me when she hadn’t even spoken to me.
I tried to say hi when I saw her at the post office a week after moving in, she turned her nose up and walked away. I guess it’s because I’m a young single mother.
She has told other residents that I have loud music playing all night and many men entering my house late at night. Also that my daughter and I shout loudly at one another and ruin her sleep.
None of these are true.
I commented on the group that it isn’t accurate and I’d prefer to be spoken to directly.
Since I have said this the woman has been making lots of noise to make us uncomfortable. I tried to ignore it but as I have PTSD it makes me fearful and I’m already feeling my depression come back. The noise is constant and threatening.
I guess I need to rant as I know nobody here can fix it but I feel so scared in my own home once again and I’m scared to go into the village shops because of other residents thinking I am a bad person based on the lies she told them.
I just want to move again but I can’t afford to and I am tied to a tenancy contract. Please can someone give me some advice.

OP posts:
Hauntingnotespizzicatostrings · 28/01/2022 15:01

I’m so sorry for the experiences you’ve been through and now this woman to deal with on top of it all.
My advice would be that as hard as it may feel, to try and get to know other people with your daughter. That way they will know you personally for themselves and that way they will quickly dismiss what the neighbour is saying. I would also advise that you start collecting evidence of what she is saying and doing and the noise issues. That way you have a way to go forward with reporting her if you choose to.
You are very strong!

Ablababla · 28/01/2022 15:03

Sorry I’m sure someone will be along with good advice soon. However I reckon given here crazy behaviour the rest of the village probably know exactly what she is like. You sound like you are doing amazingly.

Justilou1 · 28/01/2022 15:07

Actually, I think you have done the right thing by saying what you have. Now you need to start diarising the types of noise and the time it starts and finishes, and speak to the Environmental Health Dept at your local council who will advise you how to make a formal noise complaint. If this continues, this can be referred to the police as a harrassment complaint.

RockinHorseShit · 28/01/2022 15:09

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this, but it's not true that you can't do something about it. I'd suggest ringing the non emergency police on 101 & having a chat to them as this sounds like it would come under harassment, especially as she's putting you & your DD at risk with her SM posts

Justilou1 · 28/01/2022 15:10

Also, hold your head high. You haven’t done anything to be ashamed about so prove her wrong. She probably already has form for this kind of behaviour anyway. Her behaviour isn’t normal, so there will be telltale signs or previous harrassment. I’d be asking how long the previous tenants occupied your flat and why they left.

Coffeeonmytoffee · 28/01/2022 15:12

Firstly delete Facebook
You’re amazing, brave and a great mother.
Just live your life

Danioy501 · 28/01/2022 15:17

Thank you all so so much your kind words have made me teary but I appreciate the support

OP posts:
forlornlorna · 28/01/2022 15:29

Oh op I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a nasty piece of work your neighbour is!.

I'd contact non emergency police. I'd consider it harassment myself.

I went through the same 20 years ago. Single mom, newly separated and moved with my kids to a different area. One neighbour took an instant dislike to me. He made his mind up straight away that I was a benefit sponging slapper (his words). He tried hard to turn my neighbours against me and caused me no end of problems for a while. Police were great and paid him a visit. It then stopped.

It's worth a try. Keep your chin up x

ANameChangeAgain · 28/01/2022 15:41

Horrible woman. For everything you've been through and come of you are amazing. Let people get to know you, as pp said, she'll have form in the village for the nasty behaviour; remember that its her, not you. I also agree that a phone call to the police might help if she is harassing you and compromising your safety, is there anyone in the police you already know and trust?

ANameChangeAgain · 28/01/2022 15:41

*come out of.

2bazookas · 28/01/2022 15:55

That sounds like harassment and intimidation which is a criminal offence. I would approach the local police and ask their advice.

YOU are new, but your neighbour isn't. So it's highly likely she has a history locally for this kind of behaviour. (known to police)

It tells the community more about her mental health, than it does about the new arrivals.

CleverRubyMaker · 21/08/2024 10:14

How did you get on with this as I am having the same issues with a bullying neighbours. The council have come out and not found anything and looks like it's going more to her favour. She pretends she is constantly doing DIY all day long.

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