To be the one who contacts family members (always)

[Applebrewsterstea]

I’m wondering what will happen if I stop messaging, ringing etc. Will they contact me. DH would know nothing of his kids lives if I didn’t contact them (my step kids), I have good relationships with them but unless I suggest meet-ups we don’t see them. We have grandchildren and they were born during Covid and just before Covid, I don’t feel we know them at all and they live about five miles away. I get it that people are busy but it would be nice not to be the one doing all the running all the time.

Am I the only one?

It doesn't sound like your DH is very attached to his children if he's leaving it to you to make contact. Did he leave all the parenting to his exW? Does he ever contact them himself? It's not unusual but perhaps he needs to build a relationship with them that is reciprocal.

You’d definitely think he’s not that attached to his children but actually he is which I find so strange about it. When they all get together it’s brilliant and fun and lovely, it’s just there’s these great gaps in between.

For me it’s more about the fact I seem to facilitate everything, then end up cooking for them all, clearing up etc. We never are asked to go to theirs, go for lunch somewhere etc. I’ve had health issues and I am tired physically and now mentally from being Chief Organise.