Am I overreacting to be upset about this?

[Janus]

I think I need some perspective as I seem to be upset but know I am a sensitive person!
I have a very close group of 3 of us, known eachother for years, we always do things together but all of us have our own friends too, we see eachother about once a week or once a fortnight.
Last week one of this group asked to use my carpet washer. Of course I said, then as we have building work going on I said I’d drive it to her, about a 30-35 minute round trip. Then on the day I said I’ll be around in about an hour. She said oh I’m having a cuppa with the third person of our group in a cafe 2 mins from me so I’m not home so just leave it on the doorstep.
So I said ok and then after I thought, so they didn’t invite me so either didn’t want me there or didn’t think about me, neither made me feel great! And then she expected me to go out of my way to drop it to her house rather than 2 mins down the road.
I am hopeless at expressing my feelings and they are very good friends so I feel what’s the point in rocking the boat anyway.
But it’s bothering me, would it bother you?

Quite possibly they wanted a private chat but (I think!!) we share absolutely everything so it’s very odd. I don’t think it’s the chat so much, if they’d said ‘I wanted to discuss something with x’ I’d have been ok. Neither said why they met up though.

Ok, you are being unreasonable here. You can be close with a group, but also fancy a 1:1 chat every now and then. It's not odd, and they don't have to explain themselves to you over this.

It also doesn't mean that her friendship with you is worth any less - she is a separate human being and is allowed her own relationships within the friendship group.

Regarding the carpet washer - she was obviously being unreasonable. If she was 2 minutes from your house she should have come to collect it herself, not made you drive for half an hour! You were doing her a favour, and she was out of order.

Also, it's your carpet washer - you get to decide whether it gets left on a random doorstep where it could be stolen, not her!

To be fair I told them I was popping out in an hour and they were 2 mins away so I had time to come along for a cuppa then so I didn’t have to go so out of my way later. I also agree they are totally free to meet up but we usually ask on the group chat ‘hey x are you free today at 2 to chat something over’ so we all know if that makes sense? Feels odd they arranged it without telling me is what I mean, I thought we did everything openly so we knew but now I do sound slightly mad!!

The more I read my own posts the more odd I sound to be honest! That’s why I wanted to ‘chat’ so thank you.
It honestly was impossible for her to collect with the mess at my house and I offered to drop it so I don’t think that was unreasonable.

Personally I'd let it go and not mention it.

What's the point? What will you get out of it? What do you want either of them to say? However you word it, they'll get defensive and you'll be viewed as over dramatic.

These sort of things either need sorting in the moment or left.

Ideally when she said, I'm 2 mins from the house just drop it on the doorstep - you should have replied 'you've had me do a 30 min round trip and you're 2 mins from my house, wtf? You owe me a bottle of wine mate'.

It's enough to make the point but breezy enough in the moment to not be a big deal.

Any way you message now will be received badly. So leave it and move on.

That's not me saying your wrong. It was rude of her but there's just no point with these things. Next time just don't be so obliging I guess.

Thank you Kinko, I think you’re right, it’s too late now and both will think I’m a bit nuts dwelling on it for this long!