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Original poster

I’m a bit of a cow ☹️

20 replies

ThePlumVan · 27/01/2022 00:50

I did something this evening and I just feel awful. I wanted to do something and was told no, so I had a bit of an entitled rant. It turns out the reason I was told no was really serious.
I didn’t know but really I shouldn’t have ranted either way, but I certainly wouldn’t have said what I said if I’d have known.
Now I feel awful and like a complete cow.

OP posts:
AuntTwacky · 27/01/2022 00:52

Could you expand on this

roundthew · 27/01/2022 00:55

This sounds like the diary of a 3-year-old

WTF475878237NC · 27/01/2022 00:55

Have you apologised? Hopefully if you're not normally a cow you'll be forgiven in time.

roundthew · 27/01/2022 00:56

Just joking op, my 3-year-old would never apologise.
Kidding aside, we all make mistakes, just learn from them and move on

AtrociousCircumstance · 27/01/2022 00:58

It’s very hard to assess with no details. It sounds like you didn’t have all the information and therefore misjudged the situation.

Do you know why you felt entitled to rant in that moment?

Original poster
ThePlumVan · 27/01/2022 01:00

@AuntTwacky just that I pay for a particular service monthly, and I have to fight to get most aspects of the service. Today I was told no important element of service available, so I ranted on a bit and asked questions, but got vague answers, then was told literally life/death reason.
Now I know I’ve upset some people which I would never want to do.

OP posts:
AuntTwacky · 27/01/2022 01:01

Just apologise for the misunderstanding?

Original poster
ThePlumVan · 27/01/2022 01:09

@roundthew it does a bit reading it back ! Sorry about that.

I’ve had horrible texts tonight and tried ringing to explain and apologise but they’re not picking up. I can’t deal with things over text other than say I didn’t know the situation as they didn’t fill me in.

OP posts:
BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 27/01/2022 03:39

If you didn't know the situation then that's not really your fault. I can understand that they feel angry, but they should realise that you didn't know there was a good reason.

DropYourSword · 27/01/2022 03:47

It's not really your fault. You didn't know. You're paying for a service and having to fight to get it. That's frustrating as a paying customer. Without them clearly communicating with you it's no wonder you weren't happy.
Ok, maybe having a rant isn't the best way to approach things but you didn't know. You've apologised. That's all you can do!

Billybagpuss · 27/01/2022 06:47

Are you paying for a service that you couldn’t get? If so it’s on them to say to you I’m sorry x is unavailable this month for personal reasons the payment will be adjusted accordingly. Not to wait until you get annoyed and then get arsy with you because you wanted what you’d paid for.

Original poster
ThePlumVan · 27/01/2022 06:56

No they didn’t say and they did have opportunities to. Instead they just let me harp on, as the general trend is getting me down and I rely on it.
I would have understood and it wouldn’t have been the big issue it’s become, with nice people in a dreadful position being upset by me.

I will reiterate today my apologies to those involved. Then I’ll just have to walk away.

OP posts:
camperqueen54 · 27/01/2022 07:13

Distressing as it may be to them. If they are providing a service and can't deliver that service then it's up to them to let their customers know. You're not a mind reader!

Whatwhywhenwhere · 27/01/2022 08:20

You made a mistake and got something wrong. You feel terrible because you have a conscience. You don’t sound too bad to me.

PacificState · 27/01/2022 08:48

Sounds like they are now taking their frustration and upset out on you, just as you took yours out on them.

They're no better than you are - possibly worse given that they had all the info and chose not to share it with you!

If you're taking money to provide a service it's not ok to just go dark without explanations. It sucks if you're a small business and under pressure, but them's the breaks. As others have said it's really not rocket science to send something out saying 'we're really sorry, we're dealing with a very difficult personal health issue at the moment [or whatever it is] and our service to you isn't going to be available this month. We know this means letting you down and we're very sorry - we've tried everything we can think of but we just can't make it work at the moment.'

I know what you mean though, I feel terrible after I've let loose at someone. Rarely do it these days because it upsets me more than it upsets the person on the receiving end.

It's actually very satisfying to keep stating your case politely but insistently, while refusing to lose your rag. (Sometimes the other person ends up losing theirs and then you get to feel smug too 😂). If I'm too cross to do that I just walk away.

QuestionsorComments · 27/01/2022 09:08

If you're paying for a service it doesn't really matter why you didn't get it, it's still a failure in service. It might have been unavoidable, but it's poor if they've used some sort of personal crisis to make you feel bad about complaining and very poor if they're harassing you by text about it.

INeedNewShoes · 27/01/2022 09:17

If you are paying for a service and has received no explanation for that service not being provided it is absolutely normal that you would be unhappy.

They messed up by not at least apologising for the lack of service to pre empt your upset.

At the point it was obvious you were upset they really needed to give some sort of explanation and an indication of if/when they would be able to fulfil whatever service they should be providing.

Yes, you shouldn’t have ranted but I don’t know many people who have never got it wrong on this front.

Tullig · 27/01/2022 09:18

This whole situation sounds like a bizarre mishmash of the personal and the professional. Whether or not it was something as minor as a particular nail treatment not being available, or something as major as a semi-medical procedure (chiropractor? Chiropodist?), it seems more than a bit odd that you ranted for some time, and the service provider let you before explaining, and then sent you unpleasant texts afterwards…?

DontTellThemYourNamePike · 27/01/2022 09:44

You're a human being, not a robot. We all get frustrated at times, especially when we haven't been given all the pertinent information. It certainly isn't very professional of them to send 'horrible texts'. You can do no more than apologise. Hope it all gets resolved.

Ijsbear · 28/01/2022 18:03

Taking you at your word that this situation is one you've put your foot into - the best thing you can do is apologise in a measured way. Then if the only solution is to walk away, that's what you have to do.

Sometimes people rant because they are by nature the sort of people who lets things out and now and then it goes too far. All you can do is learn from it and pause next time you're that frustrated. Walk away and go back when you're calmer.

I know how frustrating it is when you really need something and people appear to be giving you the runaround! Usually calm and assertive gets you further, but it takes practise.

Grit your teeth, endure for the next days and then things will pass, one way or another.

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