Husband just been diagnosed

[CUL8Rmasturbator]

With ADHD.

Yep, absolutely. Agree 100%

Find it a bit tough that I've been trying to help him with effective strategies for years that he's said won't work, don't make sense etc. Blew off everything ever, yet yesterday a Dr said it's ADHD and he is suddenly throwing loads of ideas and strategies at me "to learn how to support" him when:

1. all of these are things I've suggested over the years which he has immediately waved away.

2. I've BEEN supporting him for a decade. I've been making life easier, mitigating and soothing and generally ensuring a pleasant life for all as far as I'm able.

3. the idea is that HE utilise strategies to help himself.

I am just offloading it here so I don't do so to him, because he is obviously focusing hard on his new diagnosis and I want him to settle with it being a positive and not a negative thing

I have lots of sympathy! When I suggested my partner might have ADHD and he read about it and agreed, he became annoyed that I hadn’t realised years sooner. I pointed out I wasn’t his doctor or any kind of bloody expert in ADHD.
Unfortunately he continues to refuse all suggestions of strategies that might help, or agrees and then doesn’t bother implementing them. He has managed to stay in the same job for years now though and I suspect medication has helped with that. So the diagnosis was definitely a good thing.

This does have the essence of a get out of jail free card for him. I.e. his takeaway being that you need to adapt, support and learn rather than him. Massively annoying. But let the dust settle. Try not to shout "I told you so!!!!" It is a positive thing to have a diagnosis but probably unsettling for him and this is his knee jerk reaction.

@SummerHouse

This does have the essence of a get out of jail free card for him. I.e. his takeaway being that you need to adapt, support and learn rather than him. Massively annoying. But let the dust settle. Try not to shout "I told you so!!!!" It is a positive thing to have a diagnosis but probably unsettling for him and this is his knee jerk reaction.

That's my worry. I don't want him to think "aha, now I can beg off of anything I don't want to do." The whole point of diagnosis was so that work had to put in reasonable adjustment and so that he could try some medication to help his focus and impulsivity.

DH and DS have ADHD -DH diagnosed after realising that the way DS behaved wasn't normal as 'that's what I was like'.

I had to have therapy to get through it.
the take out fro Dh has been to get to know himself more. He is now much more aware of being ADHD. He has medication and uses it in a really targetted way.

Doesn't stop him being ADH and doing ADHD things; but it does make me 'forgive' myself for not being like that - for instance he never sits still, sits down to relax, or lies on the beach or in the garden, or reads. I love all these things. I used to feel bad that I was sitting down and he was whizzing about doing DIY of gardening or going on about this that and the other that he needs to do now. I fight for my right to relax...!

Ain't easy though at all. But knowledge is power. He needs to seize that nettle and know his boundaries and strengths