What things do you do to stay positive?

[rosequartz8]

I was always a relatively positive person up to a few years ago but find myself the opposite now. I lost a best friend and a partner in the space of a few years and I find with the past 2 years and all that's been happening a lot, I always tend to fear the worse and struggle to see the positives in things.

I already see a therapist and have been trying hard to stay away from those things that trigger the negative thoughts, but just wondered if anyone has anything that has really helped them?

Long walks outdoors

That sounds so hard. I think anyone would struggle to stay positive after such losses OP.

Maybe you don't have to think of it that way for now? Don't try to force yourself to be cheery or something. Instead just trying to find meaning in something, anything that keeps you going through these dark days, like volunteering? (Or art, music, something more "selfish"? Lots of exercise?)

And meditation, which says don't always fight the thoughts, just note them and let them pass?

It's hard isn't it. I am similar to you, lost of losses and it seems like sometimes I am in a state of anxiety just anticipating the next bad thing to happen. I just try to focus on the good things I have in my life currently and appreciate them for however long they may last.

@IBloodyLoveMichaelJackson (great username, I'm a fellow MJ fan) I too love long walks, especially on a windy day

@tackling thank you for your kind words. I recently took up knitting for a cancer charity and it has been helping to give me a sense of purpose and I plan to donate one of the blankets in honour of one of my loved ones. I'm also going to try to get into meditation and just try to live more in the moment

@Babyroobs I'm so sorry for your losses too. It's very hard not to get anxious sometimes but as you said, it's important to appreciate the good things that we have

Sorry to hear of your losses op for me not spending too much time on social media helps, doing creative stuff and just taking time to slow down. Being around pets always cheers me up too

@rosequartz8 sorry to hear this lovely, you’ve been through an awful time.

I do a few little things that I find helps me, I went through an awful spell at the back end of last year and I really thought all hope was lost.

• Walking the dog with my head phones up.
• Mental health play list on my phone. Songs which tell me it’s ok.
• I bought one of these… www.amazon.co.uk/stores/MYndMap/page/DCB77830-43DB-4650-9E16-440B03D463BA?ref_=ast_bln&tag=mumsnetforu03-21
• I say a little prayer at night
• Comfy blankets/pillows/pyjamas
• Talking with family….so important to tell people where you’re at and how you’re feeling

Remember that this will pass, time is a huge healer. Although you’ll remember this time always it will get easier to bear.
xx

A vase of cheery yellow daffodils in the hall cheers me up every time I pass by it. :)

Surrounding myself with softness - soft, kind people, soft cosy scarves and jumpers.

Getting outside in the daylight everyday, no matter what the weather is like. Even if it just a quick whiz around the block in the rain, I find it helps my mood.

daily gratitudes and affirmations.

Meditation
Walking outside
Exercise
Yoga which I don't view as exercise
Aiming just to do the things that make me feel good. Sometimes that means avoiding the news or twitter because it can just be too mood destroying
Having a clean and tidy house uplifts me
Seeing friends - even if I don't feel like going out, it always makes me feel happy to see them.

Exercise helps me.

Sorry to hear OP, it’s understandable to feel down after what you’ve been through.

I agree with PP - staying active really helps me. There’s a noticeable decline in my mood if I don’t get out for a walk for a couple of days.

My dog ensures that I get out for my plenty of walks. I also go swimming once a week and weight train 3-4 times a week. I know it might be too much for some, but the difference in my mental state is huge.

I also love reading with a hot drink and a nice candle burning. Sometimes in a nice warm bath. Feels indulgent, but still productive because I’m reading

I think it's only natural that you don't feel positive after what you've been through. It's very easy to feel bitter at the world when you've had such horrible luck.

As pp said, try not to view it as being positive or negative. Just do things that make you feel good or like you have a purpose. I like to read and write, walk, yoga and sometimes as cliche as it sounds a nice bath with some nice products. Meditation and journaling can also be great ways to get your emotions in check.

@jaspercabbage

I think it's only natural that you don't feel positive after what you've been through. It's very easy to feel bitter at the world when you've had such horrible luck.

As pp said, try not to view it as being positive or negative. Just do things that make you feel good or like you have a purpose. I like to read and write, walk, yoga and sometimes as cliche as it sounds a nice bath with some nice products. Meditation and journaling can also be great ways to get your emotions in check.

May I ask - what do you write?

When I was particularly struggling with this I used to give my head an actual physical shake - shake the thought away.

Now I find some time in nature everyday makes a huge difference. The world can't be all bad when it's got that.

I also lost DH fairly recently and throwing myself into lots of new interest groups has helped too. I've met lots of nice people, many of them with similar reasons for joining the groups and we all keep on keeping on.

I love the Fabulous app. It builds lots of lovely 'good for your body and soul habits'. And I listen to Rongen Chatterjee's live better podcast and read a lot about buddhism. Gratitude diary and spending time outdoors every day. Service to others. Nutritious food that I take time to prepare for myself nicely, a nightly glass of wine (but not too much) and my sport all keep me buoyant. I also treat myself to little things that will make everyday tasks a bit nicer like a posh bubble bath or buying new super soft socks and chucking out all my old holey ones for example. Naps. Yoga. Meditation. Brreathwork. I'm just an old hippy really 😆 sorry to hear of your losses. Its understandable that you're down. But you can still grieve and feel sad within a sort of positive lifestyle. I think doing these things for yourself just stops you bottoming out and going self destruct. I'd just start wirh the app. It feeds a lot of the lother stuff in slowly.

I list the things for which I am grateful. I always start with clean water. I go as micro a possible.

I have clean water to drink.
I have clean water on tap.
The tap is a very nice nickel plated tap and it pleases me it matches the cupboard door handles.
My water is affordable.
My hot water is on tap.
I can afford to run the boiler.
Etc etc