Chinese New year - anyone with Chinese heritage around?

[SecondhandTable]

Hi, wasn't sure where to put this. My DD is 3 and has a close friend, also 3, who is of mixed heritage and will be celebrating Chinese New year. I would like to get her friend something from DD for new year but not sure what would be best? Do you give cards? Could I get her any little gift or is there anything in particular that would be a good idea? Thanks :)

It's traditional for adults to give children a little red envelope with cash in it, not sure about children giving to children though

Not Chinese but when ds was little he had a wee pal who was Chinese. On the new year his mum would bring on little papas dragons and small plastic boxes of sweets shaped like the relevant animal. I used to take the kids to Chinatown to watch the ladies make dumplings in the cafe window, and to see the drummers and dancing dragons that would go from restaurant to restaurant, eating cabbages and spitting them out.

Kids would get little red envelopes with ‘lucky money’ in them.

It’s river this year isn’t it?

I’d possibly put sweets in a red envelope.

Sorry should say I’m not Chinese but had some Chinese friends growing up.

Also to say river is not a new year. This year will be tiger. All years are named after the animals that raced which involved crossing a river.

Dah - yes tiger not river. That was one weird autocorrect!

Anything in red packaging so sweets etc is good

I don't think you need to give them a present. Like others have said, it's traditional for adults to give red envelopes of cash, but I'm sure they will have prepared their own Chinese food/sweets/dumplings, etc.

You are kind of imposing British gift/card giving on Chinese culture, which is a bit insensitive, I think.

@KittenKong

Dah - yes tiger not river. That was one weird autocorrect!

Lol wordle vibes (although I think tiger is actually a good starter word!)

Tangerines or oranges, they are supposed to bring luck and success and are often placed besides children's pillows. Pomelos and kumquats are also appreciated, they're often made up in red baskets with ribbons but a small gift bag (preferably red) would work too. Some people gift small trees too but that's probably a bit much.

Our family is mixed Chinese-White & live in the UK. Cards are really not a thing in Chinese culture, so wouldn't do that, even though it's a kind thought. Adults usually give red envelopes containing money to children (much more fun being the child than the adult!). I probably wouldn't give your child's friend any kind of gift or card, but maybe just ask them about Chinese New Year instead and show some interest. It's more likely they'll want to give sweets or something to your child to mark the occasion.

@StrangerThanSpring

I don't think you need to give them a present. Like others have said, it's traditional for adults to give red envelopes of cash, but I'm sure they will have prepared their own Chinese food/sweets/dumplings, etc.

You are kind of imposing British gift/card giving on Chinese culture, which is a bit insensitive, I think.

Are you of Chinese heritage?

My uncle is Chinese and would always send some money in a red envelope for my kids or some white rabbit sweets if you manage to find any! They are amazing

@treesarebeautiful

Our family is mixed Chinese-White & live in the UK. Cards are really not a thing in Chinese culture, so wouldn't do that, even though it's a kind thought. Adults usually give red envelopes containing money to children (much more fun being the child than the adult!). I probably wouldn't give your child's friend any kind of gift or card, but maybe just ask them about Chinese New Year instead and show some interest. It's more likely they'll want to give sweets or something to your child to mark the occasion.

Thank you. The family have been generous with DD recently, and I am of mixed heritage myself and always appreciate people taking interest in/acknowledging my cultural celebrations especially regarding DD. I suppose I am projecting though.

My Chinese friends always send out e-cars for new year these days

@StrangerThanSpring

I don't think you need to give them a present. Like others have said, it's traditional for adults to give red envelopes of cash, but I'm sure they will have prepared their own Chinese food/sweets/dumplings, etc.

You are kind of imposing British gift/card giving on Chinese culture, which is a bit insensitive, I think.

Since when is asking a question like 'Do you give cards?' imposing anything on anyone, let alone on a whole culture? Sheesh.

OP I think your thread is anything but insensitive - it's thoughtful.

I am Chinese mixed heritage, DM is from Singapore. She will give her friends oranges or sweets and vice versa.

I think it's a lovely idea to acknowledge CNY with your child and their friend, otherwise, these traditions get lost - even if it's just with wrapping an orange or sweets in tissue paper and tied with ribbon. It's all about the red and gold and remember no sweeping on CNY otherwise you will sweep all your good luck away!!

My Ex is Chinese and I am British, so my kids are mixed. We celebrate Chinese holidays at home and with their Chinese family. I suppose I am sensitive about my children being constantly "othered" at school. It's not their responsibility to teach their classmates about their culture, unless they want to. I know you are trying to be kind, but for us it would be a no thank you to receive gifts for Chinese New Year from friends who are not Chinese and have no understanding of Chinese culture. What's the point? Obviously other people feel differently, but you asked for opinions, so this is mine.

@LaVieEstBelle159

I am Chinese mixed heritage, DM is from Singapore. She will give her friends oranges or sweets and vice versa.

I think it's a lovely idea to acknowledge CNY with your child and their friend, otherwise, these traditions get lost - even if it's just with wrapping an orange or sweets in tissue paper and tied with ribbon. It's all about the red and gold and remember no sweeping on CNY otherwise you will sweep all your good luck away!!

This was my thinking, as someone from a different mixed heritage background. Plus I want to raise my kids to learn about and appreciate different cultures too. I was always really happy as a child when my friends acknowledged my cultural celebrations.

@StrangerThanSpring

My Ex is Chinese and I am British, so my kids are mixed. We celebrate Chinese holidays at home and with their Chinese family. I suppose I am sensitive about my children being constantly "othered" at school. It's not their responsibility to teach their classmates about their culture, unless they want to. I know you are trying to be kind, but for us it would be a no thank you to receive gifts for Chinese New Year from friends who are not Chinese and have no understanding of Chinese culture. What's the point? Obviously other people feel differently, but you asked for opinions, so this is mine.

Thank you for your input, I do appreciate it. As someone from a mixed heritage background I always appreciate people taking interest in my culture and also including me in celebrations that are not traditional in my culture. This was particularly the case as a child - it made me f eel the opposite of 'othered' - included, recognised and appreciated. I suppose I just assumed everyone felt like me.

I live in Singapore and my Chinese neighbours bring us 2 tangerines, cake, biscuits. I'm told things in 2s are good luck so we hang 2 lanters and have 2 banners at the door. Red money packets have crisp new notes in them, the queues are building at the banks for new notes, always given in even numbers or with an 8 in the number.

I'd go for 2 tangerines that your daughter could decotate in bright red and gold and maybe some sweets. Pineapple tarts are always a winner, can't remember their significance but pineapple decorations are everywhere.

Happy CNY!

Context: I grew up in Hong Kong.

• Adults give lai see packets (red envelope with a small cash gift - your local Chinese supermarket or Amazon will sell these) to children. People will sometimes also fill lai see packets with a gold chocolate coin instead of cash, which might go down well for your DD's young friend!

• Avoid denominations of money that feature the number four (e.g. you wouldn't give £4/£14/£40) as the word sounds similar to the word for death so is considered unlucky.

• There's some degree of etiquette in terms of who gives and who receives lai see, but in this situation you'd give to the DD but not to any adults.

• Boxes of Ferrero Rocher/Werthers Originals/other gold-wrapped sweets are quite a popular gift for adults, as are oranges trapped in red tissue and fresh flowers (especially orchids and peonies).

• Hand over lai see and gifts with both hands.

• Wish them "Kung Hei Fat Choi" if they're Cantonese-speaking or "Gong Xi Fa Cai" if they're Mandarin-speaking.

Enjoy!

Sainsburys have lots of year of the tiger things. You could get something for her to take along such as decorations.

@StrangerThanSpring

My Ex is Chinese and I am British, so my kids are mixed. We celebrate Chinese holidays at home and with their Chinese family. I suppose I am sensitive about my children being constantly "othered" at school. It's not their responsibility to teach their classmates about their culture, unless they want to. I know you are trying to be kind, but for us it would be a no thank you to receive gifts for Chinese New Year from friends who are not Chinese and have no understanding of Chinese culture. What's the point? Obviously other people feel differently, but you asked for opinions, so this is mine.

At DSs school everyone was ‘other’ to the point when we had ‘international day’ there was 3 of us who did the ‘British’ table every year (a scot, a Welsh woman and a northern Irish woman). Sometimes my friend would join in to help (Turkish Brit). DS was one of three kids in his class who spoke English as a mother tongue (and the other two were bilingual). His teachers were from Malaysia, Tasmania and China.

It was actually a lot of fun - we’d have so many things happening during the year and it was lovely for the children.

But I guess it’s different if you are ‘the one’ - I was ‘the kid with an (half) English mum’ at school and you can imagine how well that went down in Scotland back in the day.