People working from home without childcare

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I just wonder how common this is. Obviously during lockdown lots of people had to do it - no choice if there was no childcare. But it must be tempting for some people to do that now to try to do that to save money.

My DC is a bit older now but looking back there is no way I could have done that effectively until she was around 12 as even in year 7 she still needed some input from me after school.

DH works from home. He nips out to get the kids aged 6 and 10, then from 4pm-5.30 they watch TV, play on tablets or with their lego until I get home. We then eat together and do homework, reading and bath afterwards.

To be honest they do pretty much the same on the days I'm at home as they have zero interest in engaging with us and I'm usually prepping dinner. I have offered them the option of going to after school club but they hate it so would rather watch TV and chill at home.

There's no way we would have entertained having them at home as babies or toddler though - this only works as they are completely self sufficient and know not to go into DH's office if he's on a call.

I don't see how you can have young children all day while wfh either tbh. Even with a sahp at home over lockdown it was difficult for me and I only work 30 hours! Young kids need lots of your practical and emotional energy. You can't really do both roles at full capacity until they are much older.

I do this often.
I have a 7,5 & 2 year old. The 2 year old does have a nursery but we are cutting down due to the bills.

It's hard and mentally exhausting. I get through work OK but it's a job I hate. But weighing up the financial aspect just can't be ignored.

The snack and drink demands get annoying. And I hate that during the holidays their main time is spent locked in.

[quote SarahAndQuack]@JessicaJacket - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound as if I thought you couldn't give your opinion! I absolutely get that you might personally feel that it wouldn't work. I guess my issue was more that I don't think it is fair to judge other people, unless you've good reason. You might not see how people can work with small children present, but perhaps they parent differently or their children are different? Same with anything. There are loads of things I would say would be silly to do with my DD - yet other parents of children the same age manage just fine. I don't conclude my experience is universal.[/quote]
I'm sorry but "who are you to judge?" is pretty much telling me not to express my opinion. And my original comment which illicited that response from you was really mild. If I'd said something really nasty you may have had a point. But I really didn't.

I think it's entirely dependent on the child. My DD1 I could have WFH from when she was very young - quiet child who would have been in her element doing jigsaws, reading and playing with Lego all day. However, DD2 still has to be reminded to keep it down if DH is WFH and she's back from uni - not a chance could have done it with her!

I've had to do it when waiting for pcr tests for nursery. No one else to do it and work wouldn't be happy me taking so many days off. Its a nightmare but doable.

@JustLyra

I think it's entirely dependent on the child. My DD1 I could have WFH from when she was very young - quiet child who would have been in her element doing jigsaws, reading and playing with Lego all day. However, DD2 still has to be reminded to keep it down if DH is WFH and she's back from uni - not a chance could have done it with her!

The noise is a major issues for me. I do try to avoid being on the phone to much but if it's a necessity I grab the laptop and lock myself in a a bathroom for a few minutes.

Ok, I'm sorry that phrase upset you - I really didn't mean it to.

I literally just meant that you can't easily judge without experience. I do get that with some jobs, it may be impossible to work around small children. But that does not prove it is impossible with all jobs.

I'm not sure how to explain it without sounding as if I'm whinging - which I don't mean to - but I always find these sorts of threads really brutal. I did my absolute best for my DD, and everyone who has seen her in any official capacity - school, nursery, health visitors etc. - has agreed she is well cared for. She's happy and healthy and doing well academically. She had masses of one-to-one time with me - more than she would have done if she'd been in nursery full time from the start. And my CV doesn't look any different from those of people who were working full time without children around. I've published just as much, and done just as much, as others. I've had excellent student feedback and results. But because I ended up in a situation where I worked really bloody hard, people feel the need to tell me it's impossible and I must have done something wrong.

Under 5s it is completely unreasonable to try and work while looking after small children. School aged is more doable if you’re happy to ignore them while the tv is on. I can juggle well enough with my 5yo in an emergency as she’ll happily slob out in front of the tv but it wouldn’t be a viable long-term solution as I don’t think it is very good for her. I’d rather she was at wrap around with her friends doing something active and fun.

I did it (with my employers knowledge) for years 4 and 5. Worked out fine. For year 6 I had a different joband became office based so she was back to before and after school club and from year 7 she was on a bus and letting herself in after school for a couple of hours. Covid onwards has been a bit of a mix as I can now hybrid work.

@Bunnycat101

Under 5s it is completely unreasonable to try and work while looking after small children. School aged is more doable if you’re happy to ignore them while the tv is on. I can juggle well enough with my 5yo in an emergency as she’ll happily slob out in front of the tv but it wouldn’t be a viable long-term solution as I don’t think it is very good for her. I’d rather she was at wrap around with her friends doing something active and fun.

You could always get her to do something active and fun while you work?

SarahAndQuack I’d rather not because providing active and fun activities involves actual participation/set-up etc which is not really possible while working. I’d much rather she was running around with her friends on the massive play area at school or doing sport than sitting watching tv which lets be honest is what most childcare while working revolves around.

Having done it during lockdown with a 1 and 3yo there is nothing that will convince me working with small children in the home is a desirable or safe state of affairs.

I've been self employed for a long time and had no childcare from when DS was six. Back then he'd come and play in my workroom with his cars or trains, or in his bedroom which was next door to my workroom. He was very chatty so it wouldn't have been any good if I needed to concentrate or talk on the phone/have meetings.
As he got older he started to spend time downstairs watching TV and coming upstairs if he needed me. I stopped working from home when he was 12 but I was only a three minute walk away from home so could get him from school and then leave him for the 1-1 1/2 hours to go back to work and then in the holidays he'd split his time between home and at work with me, with me coming home at lunch time and DH home by 4:30pm.
He's nearly 14 now and quite happy on his own all day while I work, although I do still come home for lunch.

@Bunnycat101

SarahAndQuack I’d rather not because providing active and fun activities involves actual participation/set-up etc which is not really possible while working. I’d much rather she was running around with her friends on the massive play area at school or doing sport than sitting watching tv which lets be honest is what most childcare while working revolves around.

Having done it during lockdown with a 1 and 3yo there is nothing that will convince me working with small children in the home is a desirable or safe state of affairs.

Well, you generally set up the activities before working, I think!

I get that setting up activities isn't fun for parents, and some children just won't go for it.

But I don't get this attitude of assuming that, because it doesn't work for you, therefore all parents who have children around them while they work, must be parking them in front of the TV or failing to work properly. It's just not true.

I am rubbish at getting my DD to take long walks. I admit, it's because I hate hearing her whinge and I would much rather give up and not bother. I don't care enough about getting a pattern where we do family walks, so I don't even try. It's the same kind of thing. But, I don't assume other people's small children don't walk well. I know friends whose three or four year olds can walk miles without throwing a massive tantrum. I do not assume those parents are doing anything wrong, or that their children are badly treated: I just recognise children are different and parents concentrate on different things.

I worked today with my four year old as she was slightly ill and nursery won't take with any kind of snot. It's still not normal when it comes to ordinary winter illness which is a pain.
Having worked the whole time killing myself looking after two at home alone throughout we are all used to it. I feel this is the trade-off for the fact I wasn't sat at home being paid.
The option is I miss a day at short notice causing a headache for everyone or am slightly less productive - although in reality I did every meeting and completed what is expected.
My 8 year old walks home from school and sorts himself for 45 mins til his dad comes home. Childminders locally will only do full before and after school, not for an hour or two.
I say hello and he plays upstairs for a bit. No one except me would ever know he was there

I'm permanent wfh and was before Covid. However it was written into my contract that I had to have appropriate 'out of the home' childcare for my children. I had to show them my nursery contract.
In 18 months it has cost me £32k in childcare which is just eye watering.
Although realistically who can actually work with a 4 and 2.5 year old in the house?!

A girl I was friends with put up an insta of her 1 year old in a playpen watching the lion king while she was working from home. It made me squirm a little. Wouldnt have worked for my family and I wouldn't have been able to concentrate on either the baby or my work. The eldest who is at school could watch a film for an hour but it wouldn't be my ideal. Admittedly I work nights with no childcare so someone could easy judge me for being a zombie the day after shift. Guess we are all just trying to fit in what works best.

@Pinetreesfall

I'm permanent wfh and was before Covid. However it was written into my contract that I had to have appropriate 'out of the home' childcare for my children. I had to show them my nursery contract. In 18 months it has cost me £32k in childcare which is just eye watering. Although realistically who can actually work with a 4 and 2.5 year old in the house?!

Bloody hell that is excruciating!

I do really hate it. It's horrible. But I do it with a 7, 5 & 2 year old but so lucky to save that money.

JFC I've never done the maths to realise it is that much. We do some nursery but have brought it right down.

@Kangaruby

Track and trace call handler had 2 children screaming in the background during our call, thought it was very unprofessional and no excuse this far into covid. Felt like putting a complaint in but couldn't be bothered, did tell him that I could hear his children loudly in the background, he didn't seem bothered or apologetic

Be nice don't complain life is not that simple. Cut them some slack

DC is 1 and I’ve done it for the past six weeks. Family also pitched in. It was manageable, but I’m fortunate I can catch up on work in the evenings if need be. DC is back at nursery now and I must admit it is a relief!

My work is similar toSarahAndQuack and as I was very part time when they were little and mainly working remotely for years I didn't have childcare, most work was done when one was asleep and the other one engrossed in something or at preschool. My work though is incredibly flexible and as long as the job is done it doesn't matter if it is 4pm or 4am! I couldn't have worked like that in a job where I needed to be logged on and pressing buttons and on the phone from 9-5.

It obviously depends on

• the age of your child(ren). Most KS2 children are able to entertain themselves for an hour

-the temperaments of the child(ren) -the hours you work.... people work different hours from each other / some people start earlier or don't take a full lunch break..... some people can finish a report or some e-mails or admin in the evening if they get interrupted -they type of work you do. People do all sorts of different jobs. Some people have to be on calls, but others do work that can be done at a different time if they get interrupted by an older child

When mine were in secondary school, I would sometimes have a few minutes to chat with them when they came in, but those 5 mins would be FAR less than the interruptions I'd get from other people in the office. WFH means I can focus much better for all the 6 hours dc are out of the house, so I would have no qualms about talking to my dc for 5 mins when they get in from school.

Obviously, if you are talking about pre-schoolers (and, in most cases Early Yrs or KS1 dc), then that is a different kettle of fish.

I can't WFH so I've never had to do it. I guess there are so many factors like age of child, nature of the work, etc.

Personally if I had to work a full 9-5 day at home I wouldn't want my 8yo stuck at home with me working all day, sounds boring for him. Far better for him to be at holiday club. For a couple of hours after school I'm sure it would be fine but a whole day sounds horrible.

YANBU for young children but in Y7+ they are in school and travelling home for all of my working day. They are out of the house between 8am and 4pm, plenty of time to get my work done.

@Kangaruby

Track and trace call handler had 2 children screaming in the background during our call, thought it was very unprofessional and no excuse this far into covid. Felt like putting a complaint in but couldn't be bothered, did tell him that I could hear his children loudly in the background, he didn't seem bothered or apologetic

How 'professional' 🙄do you need a T&T caller to be? How did hearing their children in the background actually affect you.

A Dr -maybe? But a T&T call handler??