In an ideal world - When is best age to start nursery?

[MovingHome22]

If work / money / childcare were no issue, what do you think would be the ideal age for a child to start attending nursery for the first time (either part-time or full time)?

To phrase the question in another way, purely thinking about the child's needs and not the mum / parents circumstances, when do you think children are most ready and would benefit from attending nursery?

3

I would say 2.5/3yrs. Before that you can still do playgroups and other activities, but nursery in a structured setting is probably most benefit when the child starts to be more social which is developmentally 2.5/3yrs.

Interesting question. Not sure if this is the right answer but I have a FT nanny so complete flexibility from a logistics perspective and DC1 started nursery 3 mornings a week aged 2. This was term time only. I’m leaving it an extra 6 months with DC2 as they were born earlier in the school year so will still have the same amount of time at nursery before starting reception.

I personally would say around 2.5. Both of my DDs started at nursery three days a week before the age of 1 as I went back to work part time but DD2 is now 2.5 and I think she really gets benefit from it at this age. Anecdotally my friend's DD started at a preschool at 2.5y five mornings a week and my friend says she loves it, plays with other children much more nicely and her speech has come on loads.

I also think some experience of nursery and preschool really helps children prepare for the routine of school and gives parents a much needed break. Certainly I'm a better parent when my DDs aren't constantly attached to me 7 days a week.

Both of mine started at three because we were lucky that between working part time and grandparent help we didn't have to start them earlier and could wait for the free hours.

DD was part time to start then switched to full time (30 hrs) and was more than ready and thrived.
DS was only ever part time as he struggled and could have done without if all together tbh.

So in short it depends on the kids really.

It's been studied before and from memory it's 3+ where children benefit from the socialisation aspect

15 months, but not full time.
2.5/3 for longer hours.

I’d say 2-2.5 part time maybe 3 half days. Then full time school hours for the last year before starting school.

3

I know that DS2 was meant to start at 2, but because of covid and some problems settling in I would say it really started to go well when he had a fresh start in a new group at 2.5.

At that age their speech is starting to kick off so they can communicate a bit more, they are generally interested in other things and other children. Anywhere from 2.5 to 3 makes sense IMO. As long as the nursery isn't expecting them to be potty trained, I do think a lot of children benefit from a slower approach to this.

I think the research indicates that a single caregiver is best up to around 3 (so nanny, childminder, grandparents etc)
Nursery education is of benefit from around 3.

I had a baby at the start of lockdown, and that DC really benefited from a couple of days of nursery from 12 months. She ran in happy every day, which was great because she'd not been more that 2 metres from me since she'd been born.

I used to teach early years and I'd say about 3. We sent ds for just 2 hours twice a week at 2 and a half though due to no playgroups (covid). Now he's 3 and goes for 3 hours every morning.

3 years for 3 hours a day - mornings or afternoons.

Both of mine thrived going to nursery from just over 1yo.

We started at 16mo but part time (2 days). I think it was a good age. 3yo for full time I think.

Completely depends on the child.

DS1 started nursery at 3 years old which for him was the right age.

DS2 started nursery at 2yrs 8mths, but in hindsight he was ready 2 months earlier.

If I child has ideal circumstances, i.e. a parent/caregiver who plays and interacts with them and takes them out to the park, shop, etc, the I think around 3 is ideal to start nursery. For my children, 3.5 years was perfect. They were ready to be left and were ready for building proper friendships. Before that, they were quite happy playing with whoever was around at the park, friend's house etc, or just playing alone.

Parents' circumstances are relevant though. If the other option is being at home with a mother who is unhappy and/or who has lots of demands on her time - e.g. caring for elderly parents, housework etc that's one thing but if she loves being a SAHM, has a cleaner, can focus 100% on the child and can afford activities etc, it's different.

Also different children have different personalities. My DS1 loved people and was very happy at nursery from 14 months, contrary to all the people on here who say kids don't have friends till they're 3, he had friends and played with them from 18 months. My DS2 who is 2.5 would, to be honest, be happier at home full time

Best for who? The parents or the child?

It's nice to be able to have a choice TBH and not rely on having to send your DC in at six months old cos you've got no other choice financially than to go back full time to feed your family.

I think there are quite a few variables to take into account (individual personality of child; number of older and younger siblings, taking into account age gaps and individual sibling relationships; whether the alternative to nursery is being at home full time or being looked after grandparents or other carers; how much exposure they have to other children and different environments; level of parental input and affection (or input and affection of other carer); the list goes on). Not to mention the quality of the individual nursery and its staff!

On average my assumption would be that between ages 3 and 4 many or most children with an otherwise generally happy home life will benefit from some time in nursery, but probably little and often (say for 3 or 4 hours a day rather than full time 8am-6pm style. (Obviously that doesn't take into account parental needs at all, but that wasn't what your OP was asking. We didn't do exactly the above ourselves as it didn't work for our circumstances, but if I'd had nothing at all to think about other than DC's needs that's what I'd have done.)

For us it has been 10 months for both DC. Best for them because they got used to it very early, they have thrived there and it has meant my youngest got to see other adults not wearing masks in the last two years. Their language development has been fantastic and they have done so much more than I'd ever do at home.

I don't have to work, I choose to and I work full time.

DD started going to nursery 2 mornings a week when she was 18 months. Following on from lockdowns, I was worried how she would do in being apart from me and DH but she loves it and it has really helped develop her confidence and speech.
She turned 2 in December and now goes 3 mornings a week, even though we are in the fortunate position that it's purely for the social side of it (I don't work and DH works from home)

Ideally not at all. But if you have to it depends on so many things.

DS1 started nursery at 1 and I felt that it was fine for him until around 2.5, then it become actively beneficial. There was another big leap in what he got out of it around 3.5, and that's when I'd say it felt that he couldn't have got what he got at nursery in other ways, such as going to groups. That's just my experience but my understanding is it lines up with the research on the issue. But it also depends - the less stable a child's home environment the more benefit they get from childcare from an earlier age.