Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Can you help me process this please?

5 replies

Hanahdhbenan · 23/01/2022 23:02

Hi. I’ve name changed for this. I am looking for some good advice about a strange (for me) place I find myself in.
I have had a very tough five years and the last three months in particular have been very traumatic. I am pretty resilient and I have dealt with a lot of this by myself to protect other parties and because I am a very private person. The events of the past three months, as I say, have been particularly traumatic.
I found that my way to deal with the trauma was to sleep, which I did a lot, and find some light diversion to enjoy. I am not a person who watches a lot of reality tv and don’t know much about celebs but I found something which was diverting and quite joyful. So I’m waiting in a hospital corridor after horrifying news and to keep me entertained I would watch clips of a show I found was taking my mind off things. As well as the sleep, I suppose it was a coping mechanism. I became really invested in two people and enjoyed their love story. I am at the point where I am wondering if I should stay with my DP. I don’t know whether the relationship has run its course or whether I am feeling detached because of the events of the past few years.
I am not a romantic person normally but I do love a love story and find it really uplifting.
However it now turns out that the people I was invested in may not have been the happy couple I thought they were and honestly, I feel really upset. I mean, upset to the point where I could burst into tears when I think about it. This is not me at all. I don’t react like this usually. I suppose it is some sort of projection but how weird is this? Also, what the hell can I do to make myself feel better?
The traumatic situation that happened is much improved and it is amazing that has happened. Why then am I so upset about people on a screen who I will probably never meet?
Wise (and gentle) words please, if you have any thoughts.
Thank you.

OP posts:
GrapefruitPink · 23/01/2022 23:07

You feel attached to these people as they've helped you through your dark times.
So your thinking of them being a real couple because you become so invested to help yourself.
Does that make sense? I don't know how to word what's in my head. 🙈

Regarding your DP, how long have you felt unsure about staying with him?
A lot of trauma can tarnish things for you, the good things.

Hanahdhbenan · 23/01/2022 23:10

There was a betrayal. Since then I have been uncertain about things, despite him making huge and sincere efforts to undo (impossible I know) the mistake.

OP posts:
GrapefruitPink · 23/01/2022 23:12

@Hanahdhbenan

There was a betrayal. Since then I have been uncertain about things, despite him making huge and sincere efforts to undo (impossible I know) the mistake.
He's broke your trust. It's very hard to rebuild.
Hanahdhbenan · 23/01/2022 23:16

Yes. I am ok most of the time but then it hits me. He was very unwell and I made the decision I would care for him despite all the hurt. He got better and was back to himself again, so I stayed. It was very hard and confusing and painful.

OP posts:
Hanahdhbenan · 23/01/2022 23:47

I know its complicated Sad

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page