My husband has been on a binge since 4th December

[Loopylou6]

He has a bad problem anyway, the last 3 years have been awful. He's had tonic clonic seizures, been hospitalised, got arrested for assault ( he pushed me ) spent the night in a cell, got sent to court and handed a DVPO order, wasn't allowed home for 28 days.
Just before Christmas I went into a refuge, but I missed my home too much.
Fast forward to now, as mentioned, he's going round the shop at 7 am, buying and drinking alcohol to the point he sleeps all day, has barely eaten a thing since he started this particular binge. Normally he goes a month or so being OK, this has been the longest yet.
I wake every morning with a knot in my stomach, yesterday I had a break down, I can't cope with him, but I'm scared for him. A couple of weeks ago he fell coz he was obv pissed and did his ribs in, he's lying to his work and getting it backed up with doctors notes.
I feel hopeless, so sad and miserable, I don't want my life to be like this, but why can't I stop worrying? I don't want him anymore, but when he goes back to his usual self, I start to doubt myself.
Gosh I sound pathetic reading that back, but why am I so weak that my life falls apart when he drinks, but when he's sober I feel happy .
Sorry for rambling

No she didn't come with me, and yes, my dd won't talk to me or her dad, and ds won't speak to his dad either, although, he and I are extremely close. It's a nightmare :(

What do the6 want you to do? I suspect your indecision and enabling is extremely frustrating.

Yes it really is. They want me to leave.

Time to leave then

You owe it to your DC to call time on this, right now. Get him out of the house by whatever means possible, and focus on protecting your DC and rebuilding your relationships with them.

If you don't, you're in danger of losing any relationship with them for good.

Why does it has to be you who leaves?
You could talk to a solicitor about getting an occupation order to force him to leave.
Try Rights of Women free family law helpline. They have loads of helpful info on their website too.
And your local Citizens Advice or Women's Aid might be able to signpost to local solicitors or law clinics offering a free or low cost initial consultation.

I understand that it's difficult to end an abusive relationship but you must for the sake of your children and your relationship with them.

You need to leave. I had a friend at school whose father was an alcoholic the impact on her was shocking. And her mother stayed with the dad just because she thought that was better for the family. It took my friend sadly to attempt to harm herself that the mother realised how damaging this was. My friend was 17 then too.
Honestly its not just you this is impacting, but its your dh actions and if he wont stop you need to leave!

You do need to put your kids first, I know it's hard to leave your home and give up the hope that your DH could recover but you will be happier if you get into a secure home and rebuild your life and the kids.

Also I agree it should be him who leaves the house if you can get him removed and get an occupancy order, so follow the legal advice above, but if not you should still leave.

Thank you everybody. I'd not known about occupancy order. This is something I'll do ASAP tomorrow. I feel so scared and alone

He needs to be your EXH

I'm so sorry you're going through this. DD1s dad was/is an alcoholic. The smell of certain largers still make me retch. It was when he came home so drunk he urinated on me that i left.

@Loopylou6

Thank you everybody. I'd not known about occupancy order. This is something I'll do ASAP tomorrow. I feel so scared and alone

You can do this OP. We're only strangers on the internet but we're supporting you. And there are helplines you can call too if you need to talk to someone.

Do you have a supportive, non judgemental friend you can talk to in real life?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. What a heartbreaking situation. You can do this. Keep phoning anyone you can for support, just a listening ear even such as Samaritans.