I know it's not her fault but...the NOISE!

[LottieGarbo]

I have recently moved into a mid-row terrace where the walls are paper thin. I've lived in terraces before but it's never been quite this bad....

Next door have a little toddler girl. She is cute. She is feisty. She is LOUD, she screams, she cries, she runs around constantly. She does not want to go to bed, even at midnight she is still awake and tantrumming. I am a mum - I have been through this phase with my own boys and I KNOW it's not her fault and I really do feel for her parents. We are on friendly terms and I know how much they struggle with her.

The walls are stupidly thin so I am looking for something that I can do to minimise what I can hear on my side. Has anyone had soundproofing? I've heard very mixed reviews so before I spend £££ I wanted to get some opinions from those who have been there.

We were in an end terrace and spent ££££ removing plaster, putting up polystyrene backed insulating plaster board that had a couple of inches of polystyrene on, then re plastered.

All for nothing.

Seemingly, the way they are built, the joist run along the houses and sound travels through joists not just walls.

We moved.

Useful info, thank you!! Did you find any other way of negating the noise at all before you moved?

@Caughtavibe, that reminded me - the last school I was in had a massive refurb done under Building Schools for the Future initiative... (£9m)
Everywhere looked lovely, but you could hear the classrooms either side as plain as day, as the builders had put in dropped ceilings with nothing to stop the sound travelling across the top of the dividing walls. Suffice to say they had to come back!

some people use book cases and wardrobes against the walls to muffle sound but no idea how effective that is .

Difficult but as it’s a toddler making the noise. you could hope it is a phase and she’ll grow out of it. Not worth the effort and expense of moving if the neighbours are otherwise nice and that’s the only issue with them.

If you’ve not been there long. the noise is going to be noticeable until you get used to it. Does it affect your family sleeping? Wake up your DC?

You could try foam noise cancelling panels you can put on walls (Amazon do them) for bedrooms then take them off as she gets older and hopefully less noisy.

Like these

www.amazon.co.uk/Donner-Fireproof-Soundproofing-Cancelling-Recording/dp/B08519X4DX/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=TIZWAWIDFDLW&keywords=noise+insulation+for+walls&sprefix=noise+insula%2Caps%2C75&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1642964252&sr=8-4

Thanks CrabbyAggie I'll look into those. I think the main issue is that the walls are so thin. The DC sleep on the other side of the house but it does affect me getting to sleep. She may well grow out of it but I know they're planning on another baby and the walls will still remain just as thin.

If it’s just sleep that’s an issue I would get earplugs or put white noise on, or anything that helps your brain ignore the noise. Otherwise I don’t think there’s a lot you can do, the panels will only help if your wall is built a certain way. Is the noise also constant during the day? Because that would drive me nuts if trying to work for example.

Yeah I use earplugs atm, haven't thought about white noise, that's a good idea. And yes it's pretty much all day, mainly in the living room where I am working. Our houses are very small, 2 up 2 downs so there's not much room for either family to spread out tbh. Our living room adjoins theirs and it's the main room for both of us.

It might be quiet for a little bit but then it will come to breakfast/lunch/toilet time and it begins!

I had this problem with my first home with exh. You could hear switches being turned on and off, kettles being switched on and when our lovely first neighbour moved it was a nightmare. First was a single girl which was fine until she started bringing various guys home and the shagging kept us up every weekend lol she was very vocal. She moved not long after she met a steady boyfriend. Then a young family moved in, same situ as you with 2 young boys both screaming all through the night as well. My ex reinsulated the walls joining their home and plastered it and it did help. They split and started renting the house out. We had to move and I loved that house it was our first home. Xxx

Cardboard egg boxes do not look pretty but the can be effective to insulate from sound.

Have you tried earplugs?

OP we are in a similar position. Mid terrace with walls as thin as paper... we can hear plug sockets, microwave whirring, lights turned on. Everything.

We put up soundproofing 6 inches thick... soundproofed plasterboard with (I think?) rockwool in between. It has definitely muffed the noises, ti doesnt feel as 'sharp', but we can still hear everything.

Our living room (the room we soundproofed) is attached to their dining room/kitchen and I have come downstairs this morning to the sound of a TV blaring through the wall. I believe they have made their living room into an extra bedroom and turned the kitchen/diner into their main living space. They are new neighbours.

I'm gutted because we always said our only saving grace in our thin walled house was not being attached to their living room, as I always said being attached to their TV room would be unbearable to hear it 24/7.

Also to add, 'white noise' or 'rain sounds' on the Alexa is an absolute life saver. We couldn't sleep without it.

I think for soundproofing to be effective it has to be done from both sides.

I was fortunate enough to live in a terrace that my landlord owned the row of, and because we and the chap next door were both complaining, the landlord installed soundproofing on both sides, but during the process when it was just one side done, it made absolutely no difference.

I think if I were you I'd look to move. Noisy toddlers don't suddenly turn into quiet children. And noisy children don't suddenly turn into quiet teenagers.

It's a process, and sometimes it never happens if it's just that child's personality to be loud.

Help yourself, move away.

Thank you all for your responses. My dream is to move into a detached house in the middle of nowhere but I'm a single parent with 2 boys and at the moment, I can't afford to move at all, had to borrow to buy this one. So I'll be here for the foreseeable! Will try the white noise. Thanks for the input about soundproofing too!

A tiny part of me wishes that the noise was caused by them being unreasonable arseholes and then I could get some sort of tiny pleasure out of blasting bad music out at 5am but it's not that kind of situation

You need to find how the sound travels - if through walls then bookcases, insulation, wardrobes will help but if through joists/floorboards not much to be done even if spending a fortune

Just buy the kid an iPad with no time limits and make sure it’s got CBeebies and that YouTube for kids app

I have tinnitus and there are mental tips for living with a noise you can never escape which may help in your situation.

www.tinnitus.org.uk/taming-tinnitus

Basically the more you pay attention to the noise the louder and stressful it seems to you. So every time you think aargh annoying child, move your attention to another noise (road/tv/music/birds/washing machine)

If its making you anxious a lot of the time your GP might think anti-depressants can help.

Lots of good physical muffling ideas suggested by PP.

I think it's just the way they are built. Our old house was end of terrace, and you could hear everything next door, even though the neighbours weren't that loud. Our new house is mid terrace and it's virtually silent, even though there are toddlers on both sides.

What do you have on the joining walls? You need to essentially create an air gap and then dense, noise absorbing stuff. That's why fixing stuff directly to the wall doesn't help much (like pps experience).

Could you talk to them about whether they are planning on renovating? If so, discuss both putting in noise insulation.

If not, are you into books?! Buy some massive free standing bookshelves and pack them full of books.

Someone I know was telling me about their Bose noise cancelling headphones recently, with active noise cancelling technology - they said they are very effective. They cover your ears and also produce some sort of noise cancelling white noise or something, directly into your ears. And of course you can listen to music etc through them or just have them cancelling out noise. Might be worth investing in - they're quite expensive but if they worked well they would be worth it. My friend said they were effective against background noise and clamour but also against sudden loud noises like shouting etc.

Thank you, some great ideas here! unidentia that's very interesting reading. I definitely find myself physically bristling when it starts and then thinking 'I shouldn't be able to hear this in my own home etc' and then feeling guilty for feeling annoyed at the noise of a child. A lot of psychological stuff going on in response to it.

Noise cancelling headphones?
A polite chat w your neighbours?

@SukiPook

Someone I know was telling me about their Bose noise cancelling headphones recently, with active noise cancelling technology - they said they are very effective. They cover your ears and also produce some sort of noise cancelling white noise or something, directly into your ears. And of course you can listen to music etc through them or just have them cancelling out noise. Might be worth investing in - they're quite expensive but if they worked well they would be worth it. My friend said they were effective against background noise and clamour but also against sudden loud noises like shouting etc.

I second this, they are great. Pricey though