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Renting a property whilst on maternity

5 replies

xc2021x · 22/01/2022 00:11

I’m in such a tricky situation. I split from my ex partner 2 weeks before giving birth and went to stay with my parents. I had many worries at that time but I didn’t really think long term and how I would get my own place in the future.

I’ve always worked and had good jobs with a good salary. Long story short I left my previous career to open up a business with my ex partner. He is in full control of this business as well as others he has, it’s not an option for me to return back to the workplace so technically in the coming months I will be unemployed.

I’m on maternity leave at present, but I haven’t got much time left on Mat leave as my little boy is nearly 6 months. I feel completely stuck as not only have I lost my job and independence through this relationship, but I’ve also lost my home as he was in full charge of the mortgage (so basically I just lived there).

In fairness he did pay the bills, but he was on a much higher salary than me and the business was setup just before the first lockdown hit so the majority of my pay has been furlough.

Living at my parents has been a great help and I couldn’t have wished for a better support network. I just can’t help but feel like i’m in the way, although my family would never admit it, it is very hard at times and I know that as I feel it too.

I tried again with my ex partner when my little boy was approx 12 weeks old and it lasted 6 days, before I had to leave again.

I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall when I’m looking for properties. I have my parents as a guarantor which is a bonus but my earnings from the past year don’t go much over £12k due to maternity and furlough.

Technically once my maternity is up I will then be unemployed. With little earnings to show & not being in secure employment how do I overcome this.

I want to rent privately and I do have savings, so I could pay upfront rent but I just feel like I am getting nowhere.

My little boy is almost outgrowing his snuz pod and there isn’t lots of room in my room at my parents for the larger cot.

It just frustrates me so much knowing my ex hasn’t got any of these issues and still has a roof over his head with very little worries. I don’t have the option of going back to work full time as my parents work so there isn’t anyone to look after my little boy. Not only that but i don’t feel ready to leave him yet and go back to work.

I don’t think this situation could actually get any worse but I don’t want to give up as I need a place for me and my little boy with our own space and what we deserve.

OP posts:
DoodleBelle · 22/01/2022 00:19

Can you look in to getting a council house? Does your ex pay anything towards his child? Contact CMS if not. Check out what benefits you would be entitled to.

xc2021x · 22/01/2022 00:28

We had a car together which he mainly used but it caused arguments with sharing so he sorted me a small cheap car which I was happy with.

It wasn't fit for purpose with a baby so at the point we were still together he took a finance deal out on a bigger car for me, he pays this and I have the car so that's basically the agreement so he doesn't pay any maintenance.

It probably sounds like he's a do-gooder paying for a car for me to use but I've literally lost everything to this guy. He pays for nothing above this so everything else for our son falls on me and my parents, which is absolutely fine and I would never ask him for anything as it would be used against me.

OP posts:
Clymene · 22/01/2022 00:31

You need to talk to a lawyer and get financial advice. What's the status of the business? How long were you contributing to his mortgage?

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MaChienEstUnDick · 22/01/2022 00:38

You are going to be better off not being part of his business in the longer term. Leave, or get him to make you redundant. Make sure you get your P45 and all the relevant paperwork. But essentially you don't want to be enmeshed with him. Then take him to the CMS. Your car payments aren't necessarily the same value as maintenance!

Personally I would stay with your parents till you get a new job if that's at all possible. But it is worth checking council housing/social housing in your area too. It might be a 500 year waiting list of course, but you might get lucky.

xc2021x · 22/01/2022 00:50

I don't think the business is going to run for much longer as he struggles to manage this himself. But.... when I was running the business (basically alone) it a piece of cake from his point of view however, once I took a back seat because of maternity it become quite clear how difficult it was to manage.

I might give CMS a call as I suppose the car isn't technically maintenance. He says he will have the car back and he will pay me £250 maintenance (as that's what he thinks he will have to pay). If I'm honest I would rather have the car if I had to choose as I would struggle without it and then would have to borrow my dads and I feel like my parents have already given up enough for me.

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