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Original poster

The cost of childcare

119 replies

user1487755366 · 21/01/2022 20:24

I know this has been done to death but the cost of childcare is out of control. I have twin one year olds who go to nursery 3 days a week. It’s killing us and the price is only going up again in April.

When will something be done about this? My job doesn’t cover it and I’ve had to take extra work on out of hours to cover costs. We have no local family support.
I don’t know what this aibu is for but I guess some advice or solidarity would be nice.

OP posts:
TearifficTaz · 21/01/2022 20:42

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

TearifficTaz

Ah, OK. So no one should TTC unless they can afford to put quintuplets through full time childcare whilst recovering from the loss if their husband and being made redundant.....

Gotcha

Do you not understand the term 'reasonably possible'?

The OP has 2 children, hardly the same level of unpredictability as having octuplets, your home destroyed by Clifford the dog and your workplace being set on fire.

Also once free hours kick in things get so much easier, so realistically people only need to plan for 1-2 years of full costs, if you haven't got that saved then tbh you have no business having children

TearifficTaz · 21/01/2022 20:43

This reply has been deleted

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yoyo1234 · 21/01/2022 20:44

Hopefully it will be easier for you when they get older and hit the three year (often partial) funding age. I only have one at nursery and that bill is big enough (I condensed my hours to reduce it, I meant well suggesting itSmile).

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
NothingIsWrong · 21/01/2022 20:46

Seriously OP why don't you just retrain in the next 6 weeks for a super high paying job?

Isn't that how this goes?

Totally sympathy from me, every single penny I earnt for about 5 years went on childcare with 3 of them.

I promise you it gets better, mine are 14,11 and 9 and I'm settled in an amazing job that I wouldn't have got had I not pushed through the early years.

It is SO hard though. Hang on in there xx

user1487194234 · 21/01/2022 20:46

Had our 3 close together and for a few years it was costing me money to go to work
We had saved a bit before work and cut back on spending post DC
It passed and in the end I kept my career and that has been very worth it

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/01/2022 20:46

Yes for the first 3yrs you will prob earn barely anything at all

But once the 15hrs kick in , that helps

You carry on working so that you can continue your career

If a couple childcare should come out of both wages. Not just mums

00100001 · 21/01/2022 20:47

@TearifficTaz

So you've planned your life in case of life changing disability. Divorce. Premature death. Being held hostage. Natural disasters. War breaking out. Loss of both parents jobs. You have plans and back up plans and savings in case of an eventuality?

Arewethebadguys · 21/01/2022 20:47

@TearifficTaz

Well this is why many think ahead and save before trying to conceive

Not sure why this is a surprise, child care costs have always been expensive.

Harsh. No one plans to have twins. Solidarity OP, we pay a fortune in childcare and it's rubbish. Count down the months until the 30 hours kick in?
Original poster
user1487755366 · 21/01/2022 20:48

We did have savings. Decent savings and an exceptional set of circumstances annihilated them. I’m not talking about twins here I’m talking about truly exceptional.
I wasn’t planning to get severe PND and postpartum sepsis which severely impacted my mental health and cause DH to take time out to care for me, or to get death threats and abuse from my own family which resulted in selling our house at a loss (with baby twins!) and hiring a PI to keep us safe and relocate and then both of us to have huge mental health issues and PTSD and paying out private therapy because NHS waiting times were outrageous. We had to put them in childcare for our own mental health to give us a break and now, finally settled and in a better place and able to work again faced with skyrocketing bills.

How on earth was I meant to plan for that? And it’s not just about me….childcare costs are out of control and is a colossal expenditure for so many families.

OP posts:
BHX3000 · 21/01/2022 20:49

@TearifficTaz you are entertaining.

'Who earns that' is a valid question. Not many people have £1800 left after paying rent/mortgage, bills and food. Is it that difficult to imagine?

I have about £50 at the end of the month, if I'm careful. You'd be delighted to know I did not 'fecklessly' have children but honestly, should people with less than 2k spare at the end of the month not reproduce? Because some governments can't get it together and come up with a system that supports parents of young children?

knowinglypetty · 21/01/2022 20:50

@TearifficTaz I earn that, and I'm also aware that not everyone does. And I also don't believe I'm more apt to have children than someone with a smaller salary.

There's a difference between being financially responsible and having a head on your shoulders and being happy to spend your entire salary or above your salary on childcare.

I work in an industry where taking a 3-year break would make it very hard for me to go back. Yes, I'm lucky enough that I should be able to afford childcare, but I also find it deeply unfair that I have to spend so much money in order to keep my professional career alive.

ReeseWitherfork · 21/01/2022 20:51

@TearifficTaz

Well this is why many think ahead and save before trying to conceive

Not sure why this is a surprise, child care costs have always been expensive.

Ah yeah, all those parents out there saving for childcare costs before they've even conceived. So common, that. I actually saved four times what I worked out I needed just in case I ended up with quadruplets.
BHX3000 · 21/01/2022 20:51

[quote 00100001]@TearifficTaz

So you've planned your life in case of life changing disability. Divorce. Premature death. Being held hostage. Natural disasters. War breaking out. Loss of both parents jobs. You have plans and back up plans and savings in case of an eventuality?[/quote]
And you'd be feckless if you didn't Grin

Mackmama · 21/01/2022 20:53

Nothing to say except I hear you and I empathise. I had two in childcare and it was financially crippling, we’re getting back on our feet now that the youngest has started school but it was very tough at the time.

I don’t really understand where all the money goes, from what I understand, the staff who look after the children don’t get paid very well, I know there will be running costs etc…but where does it all go?

glitterelf · 21/01/2022 20:53

Have you checked to make sure you are receiving all the help with costs ? I know you don't want to uproot them but often a childminder is cheaper.
As for the numpty on the thread with a crystal ball grow up childcare is expensive and only going to get more expensive as funding doesn't cover the costs. I'm a childminder and I know how difficult it is for both parents and providers so yes more needs to be.

Lindaloo08 · 21/01/2022 20:55

@user1487755366 you're validating yourself to one the most judgemental and rude people I've seen on here and that's saying something. Don't give any more headspace to them. You were having a moan, childcare is bloody ridiculous, it gets easier but initially its hard.

I hope that you, your DH and your twins are all safe and recovering well.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 21/01/2022 20:56

A nanny may be more cost effective with two. It’s crazy the cost of childcare.

ReeseWitherfork · 21/01/2022 20:58

OP you may be interested to know that lots of organisations (Mumsnet included, but I believe Grazia lead the charge) have been campaigning to request an independent review of childcare costs. Can't remember where it got to, there was some attempt at a government response that just paid lip service to it, but I don't think it's dead in the water.

IIRR, the UK has one of the most expensive childcare systems in the world. So you're definitely not alone.

I was reading something the other day which suggested part of the reason it's so expensive is the staff to child ratios we've got. Apparently the UK is a bit extreme. Got me thinking about whether I'd want my 2.5 year old to be under the care of a bigger ratio (to which I think the answer is yes).

PattyPan · 21/01/2022 20:59

@ecoanxiety

Don't listen to that idiotic comment. And you are allowed to have children without being able to afford childcare, ypu would have to stop half of the population from reproducing if you weren't.

I can't afford childcare to work. None of my family can and i don't know any one that can. I know 2 working mothers and they both have parents to help with childcare and housing It is the luck of the draw.

It is out of control and the government should be subsidising the costs because mostly the costs are more than rent and its no wonder lots of women don't go back after having a baby.
When I asked around for prices I was shocked to find that childcare would have cost me £90 a day. That's £450 a week for five full days of childcare. Who earns that?
£1800 a month.
How can that even be? yanbu

I agree that childcare should be more subsidised but you seriously don’t know anyone earning more than about £25k? You must accept your circle/circumstances are unusual. 3 quarters of mothers work.
Socialcarenope · 21/01/2022 20:59

@NeedAHoliday2021

I had Dd1 then twins. I’d say, it’s actually for a very short time. From age 3 it’s subsidised a lot then they start school. We’re out the other end with 10 yo twins and dh now works from home and Dd1 is 14 so can help a bit after school.
Ours has got more expensive at school!
ecoanxiety · 21/01/2022 21:01

Being deliberately obtuse is one thing but sticking the boot anonymously to a mother coming for advice and a bit of a moan is just sad and quite frankly disgusting. Don't worry, I won't rub my 'poor' on you.
And i am glad you are tearful. prick.

TheCanyon · 21/01/2022 21:02

I had two dc, one just about to go into p1 and the other going into final year of nursery. Did the sums, yup we can afford childcare for them and have a bit extra, let's have another.

We had twins, no way could we afford the childcare for 4. I actually calculated the costs when the dts were about 1, circa £30k for full time for the twins and wraparound for older dds.

Childminders certainly don't earn enough, they've been shafted enough with the funded hours, as has some nurseries. It's about utterly shit wages in this country.

3cats4poniesandababy · 21/01/2022 21:03

Why should childcare be cheap? Good childcare involves the right person, with the right skill and also having a low child to adult ratio.
A lot of nurseries struggle to cover costs based upon what the goverment pay for the free hours.
I pay a childminder, and maybe luckily or maybe not, pay her around £700 (minus tax free childcare part). Yes it is a lot but she is also worth every penny. We love her to the pint we are putting off an area move to stay with her for as long as we can (and will pay her a bonus when we leave because we love her and our son has the best time and is thriving in her care)
If I used a nursery we would pay a lot more and for us we prefer the childminder family like setting. But that is personal preference and partially depending upon local area/offering.

The easy answer is the goverment pays more but how does one propose that is funded? Higher taxes on already squeezed family finances.

GrapefruitPink · 21/01/2022 21:06

I didn't save before DS, we couldn't.
It's hard op and I don't even want to guess the bill with twins.
We've not long had the 30 free hours and already feeling the difference.
Remember it's not forever.

Jenjenn · 21/01/2022 21:07

I hear you op. The cost is ludicrous. I don't know how we did it at the time and we only had 1 child in ft care. 2/3 of our income went on childcare and mortgage.

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