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Original poster

Is it me or is this just what organising children's parties is like??!

31 replies

Ceramicsandsoftfurnishings · 21/01/2022 17:03

So I have managed to resist my DD's desire for a class party until this year when she really expressed she wanted one. It's an active type party at a venue and it's for two hours on a weekend morning.

Handed out the invites and it's been just over a week and only 5 out of 18 kids (or rather their parents) have replied. We invited everyone (smallish village school) and I put a RSVP date on the invite and my number. I need final numbers because it's one of those things where you pay in advance per child. There are another few days until that date but it's been over a week so I am feeling pretty worried.

We only joined the school in September having moved house so although I am slowly getting to know parents, I don't know them all and don't have many of their phone numbers. Everyone seems friendly enough but I am now wondering if it's me?! My DD seems to have lots of friends and talks about various names a lot but we just aren't getting many responses back.

Any ideas on what to do? Am I going to need to figure out who everyone is and ask or is that cringy? I don't want people turning up who haven't RSVP'd because there won't be a booked space for them!

OP posts:
BeetyAxe · 21/01/2022 17:08

Yes unfortunately this is what it’s like. So bloody annoying. I would tell your child to tell the kids to tell the parents to text you. I would also ask those people you do know to text the ones you don’t if they have their number, and if possible ask at the pick up or collection. It is sooop annoying,people know you have to pay in advance!

Woeismethischristmas · 21/01/2022 17:11

Totally what it’s like, not you it’s just a pain. Just ask if they’re coming at pick up.

edwinbear · 21/01/2022 17:14

Very much what it's like OP, it's incredibly frustrating. If everyone in the class is invited, is there a class Whatsapp group you could put a gentle reminder on?

Coffeeonadrip · 21/01/2022 17:16

Yup totally like that. I had people RSVPing well beyond deadline but luckily I wasn't limited on numbers so didn't mind. I had my little one asking the friends directly if they were coming in the end and telling them their parents needed to confirm with me. Would that work? "Your mum needs to tell my mum or there will be no space for you"?

FindingMeno · 21/01/2022 17:18

Yes it's what it's like. People can be so rude.

TwoBlueFish · 21/01/2022 17:26

Sounds completely normal and it’s really irritating. Do you do school drop offs/pickups? If you do then I’d ask the parents then. You’ll probably find that some of the invites are still in the kids book bags!

pompomsgalore · 21/01/2022 17:26

Does the class have a whatsap group or Facebook page you could post on.

So bloody annoying for you!

SpringRainbow · 21/01/2022 17:27

Do you have a WhatsApp group? Could you send a message saying you need to finalise numbers?

Acommonreader · 21/01/2022 17:28

Agree with others- totally normal and annoying! Expect uninvited siblings on the day too.

PermanentTemporary · 21/01/2022 17:30

Oh God the uninvited siblings.

RedskyThisNight · 21/01/2022 17:30

Lots of people won't reply until the last minute. If you do see parents in the playground you can always just ask them - most people will apologise for not replying and then tell you if their child can come or not.

Farrandau · 21/01/2022 17:31

@SpringRainbow

Do you have a WhatsApp group? Could you send a message saying you need to finalise numbers?
Yes, I always did parties via the class WhatsApp -- it also makes far more people RSVP much more quickly.
RedskyThisNight · 21/01/2022 17:31

@FindingMeno

Yes it's what it's like. People can be so rude.
If the RSVP date has not yet passed, it's hardly rude! If OP had wanted responses by now, then she should have put an earlier date on the invitation.
waterrat · 21/01/2022 17:45

It's a tricky one as I think it might be unusual for people to have to specifically say yes after a short time. I know some parties involve activities but I think usually that would be a small group and the parent would check in.

Did you make it absolutely clear that is how it worked ? Could you use this as a positive opportunity to get to know people and go via class WhatsApp or ask around at school gate.

Original poster
Ceramicsandsoftfurnishings · 21/01/2022 17:45

@RedskyThisNight

Lots of people won't reply until the last minute. If you do see parents in the playground you can always just ask them - most people will apologise for not replying and then tell you if their child can come or not.
Thanks, it's good to know there is still time! I definitely wasn't referring to them as rude at all. I am sure some are still in bookbags and will probably be discovered at the weekend when it's homework time maybe.

It's my first time doing this so I wondered if it was normal to still be waiting for replies 9 days on. There is still a couple of days left so fingers crossed people will get in touch.

OP posts:
MaizeAmaze · 21/01/2022 17:48

When is the party? It may be too far ahead for people?

Original poster
Ceramicsandsoftfurnishings · 21/01/2022 17:49

@waterrat

It's a tricky one as I think it might be unusual for people to have to specifically say yes after a short time. I know some parties involve activities but I think usually that would be a small group and the parent would check in.

Did you make it absolutely clear that is how it worked ? Could you use this as a positive opportunity to get to know people and go via class WhatsApp or ask around at school gate.

Good to get a different perspective. I didn't want to send the invites out too early so it's 3 and a bit weeks until the party now but the venue need the final numbers (and therefore payment) in advance so it's them that have created a deadline rather than me. We still have a couple of days to go so maybe I'm being unfair! I added an RSVP by date and it's a local activity place rather than a hall etc.
OP posts:
foxgoosefinch · 21/01/2022 17:49

It’s normal, though v annoying! You do have to send reminders and chase by text etc. A few people will say they are coming then not turn up, and others will text on the day or just turn up, and you have to hope that the second balance out the first!

It is irritating though - I always reply as early as possible, but so many people don’t!

Original poster
Ceramicsandsoftfurnishings · 21/01/2022 17:50

@PermanentTemporary

Oh God the uninvited siblings.
This is a thing?! I regret my choice to give in this year Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
Ceramicsandsoftfurnishings · 21/01/2022 17:50

@SpringRainbow

Do you have a WhatsApp group? Could you send a message saying you need to finalise numbers?
Sadly not but this thread has made me think perhaps I should start one!
OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 21/01/2022 17:52

It is like that. Hopefully you'll get a flurry at RSVP time.
Add in the child who didn't respond turning up with family B so you can't even say anything to the parents.
The next year was the he can't/ he can/ he can't/ oh, I know the party's in 2 hours can he still come?
Funnily neither held a large party or ever invited my child Hmm

Tip: record the phone numbers for future years.

Thinkbiglittleone · 21/01/2022 18:00

I might sound stupid here, but I always hear of the class WhatsApp on here and wonder is this standard at schools, how did it get set up, do you just need one super organised mum to start it up ?

OP our DS had just started reception in sept, so I'm not sure but I would probably as your child to start asking their friends to "remind" their parents, but ultimately if they don't reply they can't come and I suppose you just prepare your child for the fact maybe all their friends won't come.

ParkheadParadise · 21/01/2022 18:01

My dd had a class party for the first time in December.
They ALL came some brought their siblings. It was horrendous 🙈
I had brought wine for me and 2 of my sisters, a friend, and 2 nieces who were there to help. My sister asked one of the parents if they would like a drink 🍷🍷soon all the parents had a glass in their hand. I ended up drinking diluting orange.

You should hope only a couple come 😂😂 next year dd is taking one friend to McDonald's 😉

DobbyTheHouseElk · 21/01/2022 18:06

Yes this is the reality. No one can be polite enough to let you know. You will get uninvited siblings and randoms turn up.

We had people no show, and randoms arrive. It’s frustrating beyond belief. I always reply asap. But sadly not everyone does.

WorriedGiraffe · 21/01/2022 18:14

It’s normal, I wouldn’t say it’s rude if the deadline hasn’t passed, some people may not no yet id they can make it or not yet! And I wouldn’t worry about uninvited siblings, we’ve had soft play parties and people have brought siblings cos they don’t have other childcare, they just pay a normal entry fee for the siblings and the sibling can’t join in with the actual party stuff but can still play. I’m sure there are some horror stories out there but it doesn’t need to be a total nightmare, mumsnet just hates children’s parties.

Got to say though we have a class parent chat and it makes things so much easier as you can remind people, maybe suggest it at the party?