Probably not the place to put this but I was just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar.
Me and my boyfriend moved in together mid March 2020 when I was 39 weeks pregnant, it was a massive rush to get in as heavily pregnant women were told to isolate prior to lockdown coming in so we basically got here one night (we were sort of moving in slowly and living between our mums and the house) and didn’t see family for a long time afterwards. Our little boy was born at the end of March 2020.
Apart from uni and travelling I’ve always lived with my mum in the same house and it felt like everything home should be like. I moved into this house almost 2 years ago now. It’s a nice house, not the best, but nice. It’s rented so we can’t do an awful lot to it. However it still doesn’t feel like home. It sort of feels like a holiday home, or a friends house. I never have that feeling of ‘ahhhh relax’. My bed doesn’t feel like my bed, it’s just a really odd feeling. My boyfriend says he feels similar and says it’s because we had quite an upheaval in the first few months of living here (his words were ‘it was like a prison more than a house’ as we couldn’t leave).
Whilst my baby was a very high needs newborn and I struggled a lot in the early days, we have some lovely lovely memories in this house so I don’t know why I don’t feel more at home. I don’t know whether it may be to do with some postpartum anxiety I’ve never really properly acknowledged. When I go back to my mum’s house that doesn’t feel like home either anymore.
Has anyone ever felt similar? Did anything help? I know it’s quite weird, but I just want to feel more at home in my own house.