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Original poster

Too scared to see GP for 'intimate' issue

49 replies

tophonetheGP · 20/01/2022 16:06

I've got a cyst down below (about 3mm away from the most sensitive bit, unfortunately), its been there years and years - gynaecologist said its a sebaceous cyst and shouldn't cause a problem, they dithered over surgical drainage about ten years ago but decided against it. It hasn't been a problem, not for a very long time, until today . Woken up with it swollen, painful, hot etc .

GP says she's booked me in for examination tomorrow .

I can't, I've had lots of problems there before, and going to the doctor terrifies me . GP said it has to be checked in case I need antibiotics or drainage .

I won't know the doctor I'm seeing - though she did say it will be a female doctor at least - and I'm stupidly scared I'll make an idiot of myself - usually end up in tears . I'm dithering over cancelling and trying to burst the bloody thing myself .

OP posts:

PinkMoon22 · 20/01/2022 16:08

Keep your app.
I've cried so many times at the docs for all sorts of things, they are very sympathetic op and won't think your stupid at all.

Please don't pop it yourself, you'll def get an infection then.

mumofone234 · 20/01/2022 16:10

I hate to sound harsh, but if you try to do it yourself you'll almost certainly cause a bigger issue and have to go anyway - but after even more unpleasantness and pain. May as well grit your teeth and brave it for one last time.

Cantbearsedtothinkofausername · 20/01/2022 16:15

Please, please keep your apt. Dr's see all sorts of things and will not be phased by this and you will only make yourself more ill if you don't. It will probably take a few seconds to diagnose and get treatment on prescription. I recently had a 'women's issue' and I dithered about it but I knew it needed to be sorted. I had to have an internal inspection which thankfully found nothing but a minor yeast infection and my issue ( not related to the infection) hasn't reoccurred (so far). I think women in general are embarrassed about anything to do with 'down there' but honestly if you're in pain surely 2 mins of being looked at to stop it is worth it?

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GoodnightGrandma · 20/01/2022 16:19

I am a nurse and have done smears. Please, please, please don’t worry about this. The doctor will have seen many private parts of men and women. It is an every day occurrence for them.
I did a smear on my friend as she wanted me to do it. I don’t think about her nether regions every time I see her.
And please don’t pop it yourself, you could end up with a bad infection.

Blossom64265 · 20/01/2022 16:27

If it has lasted that long, there is also the small chance that it is a particular kind of cyst that forms in a lubricating gland and those can require special treatment. The GP is going to want to make the inspection as brief and as clinical as possible. You can also ask for a chaperone if that would make you more comfortable.

Remember that you are in charge the entire time. You can always stop at any time. If you can keep going, you will get the proper diagnosis and eventual treatment you need, but it is still your choice, even once the exam begins. (I use this basically as a mantra to get through some very unpleasant long tests and treatments, sometimes as I count down the hours until they are done)

Wolfiefan · 20/01/2022 16:28

It won’t be the first time a GP has dealt with a patient feeling embarrassed or even being cried at. Is there anything you can do to make it easier? Write down what you want to say? Including that you’re really worried about the appointment?
If you do need antibiotics then you’ll feel so much better once you’ve started them.

Shapiro · 20/01/2022 16:30

In my experience they don’t want to spend looking at something that they already what it is.

The examination will o we before you even know it.

When it comes to any procedure they will already have seen anything that you have in all different shapes sizes and colours!

The relief you will feel later when it’s o we and done with will far outweigh the stress and anxiety you are building up within yourself over getting it looked at.

Justkeeppedaling · 20/01/2022 16:33

Can you take someone with you OP? Actually, probably not, cos Covid.

Do to though - your fanny isn't any different from anyone else's, and think how relieved you'll be once it's treated.

Have someone waiting for you when you come out and go straight for tea and cake as a treat!

Justkeeppedaling · 20/01/2022 16:33

*Do go

Tal45 · 20/01/2022 16:34

OP it's no worse than going for a smear, you can do it! It's not the most fun for anyone - can you treat yourself to something nice afterwards? Rewards aren't just for kids!

BFPDec21 · 20/01/2022 16:41

Please don't worry, they've seen it all. I had to do this when I was 21 and got a Bartholin's cyst. I left it a few days but was in so much agony that I didn't care in the end.

If it's anything like that, regular hot flannel compress, sitz baths and paracetamol might help.

EishetChayil · 20/01/2022 16:49

It's all in a day's work for the doctor! Don't flatter yourself by worrying that it will be anything but part of their working day.

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 20/01/2022 16:51

You won't make an idiot of yourself! I turned up once sobbing at reception and couldn't say anything. Reception who are usually like dragons, took one look, made me a cup of tea, sat me down and found a doctor to see me. Even then I think I did nothing but cry for ten mins

Akire · 20/01/2022 16:55

You know you have to go and get it sorted, you will be so proud of yourself after. I’ve had plenty stressful GP appointments so I know about the anxiety before hand it’s nearly always worse than the reality.

Try and change it around in your head “I hate the doctors so much I’m going make them look at my vagina! They getting far worse end of the bargain than I am”

Can you pinpoint what’s the terrifying part? The way you might get spoken to or dismissed? Be accused wasting their time? Or have you had painful exams etc before where they didn’t listen?

godmum56 · 20/01/2022 16:55

GP won't be bothered about you crying and won't think its idiotic.

Santahasjoinedww · 20/01/2022 16:58

Imo try and focus on your fanjo being more important to you than it is to a Dr!!
I think this when my smear is due as my dm was lucky to survive a radical hysterectomy at 42...

Freshprincess · 20/01/2022 17:01

I made a big show of myself at my last smear. I was crying like a baby before she started. Nurse was so lovely, distracted with inane chat about something and nothing till I calmed down. Barely even mentioned it.

Don’t try and treat it yourself. You’ve no idea what you’re doing and could make it much worse.

TheNinjaWife · 20/01/2022 17:03

My DD was petrified of a smear test. Nurse advised she could wear dark glasses. This helped her. With a face mask you’d be even more inconspicuous.

CamsPaisleyCuffs · 20/01/2022 17:14

Whilst having my smear this year (both the nurse and I wearing masks), she was down the business end, my legs in the ankles together, knees apart position when she asked if we'd met before? I like to think it was my witty conversation and not my memorable vag that made her think we'd met previously (we had!)

Original poster

tophonetheGP · 20/01/2022 17:19

@Akire

Try and change it around in your head “I hate the doctors so much I’m going make them look at my vagina! They getting far worse end of the bargain than I am”

Can you pinpoint what’s the terrifying part? The way you might get spoken to or dismissed? Be accused wasting their time? Or have you had painful exams etc before where they didn’t listen?

The latter, someone wouldn’t stop when I asked them to . So every time I have to go back for similar stuff I just panic, I know this won’t involve any speculums or anything horrible like that - and I guess if they decided it needs drained they’d do a local anaesthetic at least - but just terrified .

I think that makes sense that it’s a worse job for them! Appointment is at 2, the GP on the phone sounded lovely enough and said better to make sure before the weekend that it’s not something needing treatment .

Thanks so much for all lovely messages xx

OP posts:

ClawedButler · 20/01/2022 17:20

Oh bless you. Please please don't worry about

a) having a healthcare professional look at your nethers. As PPs have said, they really have seen everything before, it's just a part of their working day
b) being emotional. Again, they'll have seen people in this state before, and they do know that people get anxious and upset about things.

If it was a cyst on your elbow, how would you handle that? Because to doctors and nurses, your elbow is about as interesting as your fanjo, and they will want to help you just the same.

Courage, mon brave, you can do this.

Akire · 20/01/2022 17:25

Feeling out of control is awful think doctors can think doing their best get it out way or finished faster but can leave you really affected afterwards. They should 100% stop when you ask them too. No wonder you stressed out.

The GP sounds nice though we shouldn’t let one arse of a doctor affect how we feel about all of them but I’m the same!

We all be cheering you on 🎉

Garysmum · 20/01/2022 17:27

Please don't worry - it will be fine.

I have had so many embarrassing issues - piles, bowel issues, thrush repeatedly, smears etc. None of them have ever blinked an eyelid - they look and diganose. The worst was I had a severe bleed in pregnancy and someone I knew from Uni had to look up there. That was quite tricky!

But it's best to get these things looked at

Freshprincess · 20/01/2022 17:32

Maybe say before you even sit down that you’re really anxious about it and that you may need to have a minute before she exams you to collect yourself.

PrincessNikla · 20/01/2022 17:33

Another voice to say do go, you dont have anything special or wildly different down there - Its their job they will just be looking to see what is wrong

Tell the dr your fears before you start, and agree a kind of safe word?

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