I feel so conflicted. I had the biggest crush on someone and it last several months. I decided to add him on Facebook and see what happened. Well it turned out it had been a mutual attraction when we had met. We got to know eachother for 4 several months almost like friends. He was loads of lovely things. But he had a bad back. He was starting a complete fresh life when we met. he had separated from his girlfriend and had to get support as he wasn't dealing with his pain in the right ways and had got depressed.
When we met he was working full time. Earning great money. Positive and active. He took a few months to himself to find out whether he was ready for more. It was upsetting but in a way it was good as he needed to figure that out.
We started meeting up and got into a relationship spring last year. All was great. He bought a little car to use as his work van was no good for outings. The car was a huge freedom thing for us. We lived 3 miles apart and it was going to save alot in taxis and walking. But just a week later a delivery driver hit us at a junction..no matter how hard we tried the insurance companies were not interested. We couldn't take it to the ombudsman because the company eventually ignored the email. He lost all motivation. Then a month later he stopped working as his back really flared up. He planned on it being a few weeks rest. But we are now 7 months further along. He has tried to get referred for a scan and it's just a nightmare getting past GPS. Our local a&e said there was no scan available and the next hospital is over an hour and he's just refused to get there.
For the last several months all we've done is gone to his house. Sat and ate. Watched tele. Sex has stopped. He's on tablets and he can't wait to get to bed each night. But he's moved his bedtime to anywhere from 6pm to 8pm. If I stay over we are awake interacting for 2 hours and the next 10 it's sleeping! It's really frustrating me now. I've had to pay for food and takeaways. He does cook and feels guilty. Checks I'm happy alot.
But the truth is I'm just absolutely bored and even though I really love him and still have all the emotions for him. I just feel disconnected and not secure. he never leans in for a proper kiss. Even if we can't have sex. It feels he has hardly any interest in hugging either. He gives more affection to his dog when I'm there. I have ofcourse spoken to him about things and he's very much this is all we can do today, but we will get there and it won't always be like this. He says he loves me.
He fell asleep about teatime. He sent me a heart at 2am (something he does) he always says he can't stand phones and messaging yet days like yesterday he was on it all day it seemed. He's not been able to send me a text with words in but he's managed to like a post and photo of a woman from his school days he chats to.. she's in a relationship and stuff they are just friends. But it feels like if he can read her stuff then why couldn't he text me a thoughtful message.
I guess the lack of sex. The flirting we used to have before we met. The fact we don't go out or go anywhere. The fact he was so broke at Christmas I didn't even get a box of chocolates. The whole situation Is really dragging me down. It doesn't feel as simple as just ending it. But I have doubts in my mind. I feel like I don't truly know whats in his head for the foreseeable. I know in the past he's been known to flirt with other women via his phone and it was a big factor in his last relationship ending. I guess all my fears are that he's going to be looking for attention somewhere else as he's not enjoying it with Me.