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Original poster

How much alcohol does your 16 year old drink ?

18 replies

Bagamoyo1 · 19/01/2022 23:27

DS turned 16 last summer, and he’s in the first year of 6th form.
During the summer it seems him and his friends discovered alcohol - few parties over the holidays etc. That’s fine, I expected this.

What I’m struggling with is that it now seems to be a regular thing. His mates get together round each other’s houses for an evening every 1-2 weeks, and more often than not end up getting drunk.

I feel that at this age it should be an occasional thing - special occasions, birthday parties, that sort of thing. They’re not adults who can reasonably go out drinking every weekend, they’re still kids really, only 16.

I should say that DS is generally a good kid, does his school work, is mostly polite and good natured. I just hate the thought of him wiping out half the weekend with a hangover, just because one of his mates invited a few friends round for a sleepover for the hell of it.

Am I being harsh?

OP posts:

Shapiro · 19/01/2022 23:33

I most certainly would not have allowed my son to drink any alcohol at that age.

Windyone · 19/01/2022 23:36

None! None of the parents in the group would have supplied alcohol and they were generally in someone’s house. As a cohort they are not that interested in alcohol. Almost 18 now. It might change when they go to Uni 🤷🏻‍♀️

offersoverr · 19/01/2022 23:39

I have a close relationship with my teenage DC and a couple of times a fellow mum has told me their DC doesn’t drink. To which my DC has had a good laugh.

To answer your question OP, more than I’d like. Getting drunk seems to happen more often than it did when I was their age. But they seem to grow out of it a bit once it’s legal.

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MeridasMum · 19/01/2022 23:40

When DD goes to parties, I allow her to take 2 bottles/cans of cider. That's every couple of months.

Occasionally she'll have a drink at home - usually just one - maybe every month or so.

At that age, I'd rather my DCs drink with my knowledge than sneak behind my back and end up drinking more than they can handle.

I'd agree with you re getting drunk every other weekend. It's too much but, other than keep him in, im not sure how you can stop him if he's with friends and they are all doing it.

piney07 · 19/01/2022 23:43

@MeridasMum are you quite sure her friends aren’t getting someone with a fake ID to buy a bottle of vodka? As that’s what we were doing when we were 16 😅

TooMuchSugar22 · 19/01/2022 23:43

Special occasions he may have a few I. E 3 or 4

Very seldomly may have a can watching a match with us.

Always with us when drinks. Never gone out And had drink.

MeridasMum · 19/01/2022 23:45

[quote piney07]@MeridasMum are you quite sure her friends aren’t getting someone with a fake ID to buy a bottle of vodka? As that’s what we were doing when we were 16 😅[/quote]
I am, to be honest. She has older sisters who did the same and many of the parties are at our house so I see what she and her friends drink.

ChocoholicContralto · 19/01/2022 23:46

Mine is also lower sixth but is already 17. AFAIK he hasn’t drunk at any parties yet, but he has a can or bottle of cider on a Saturday evening, with his dinner.

BeetyAxe · 19/01/2022 23:47

Very little,I’ve let him have a few parties here when we were out but he knew we were monitoring from afar (ring doorbell!) there was alcohol but not much and it’s certainly not regular. When I was 16 I was frequently drunk and made some baaadddd choices!

Kite22 · 19/01/2022 23:48

No, you aren't being harsh.
Very occasionally when mine were 16, and definitely not to the level of "wiping out half the weekend with a hangover", more the level of 'having a beer at a family BBQ or the occasional party.

Original poster

Bagamoyo1 · 20/01/2022 00:11

I’m definitely one of the stricter mums in the group. I say no to a lot of these get togethers. Or I say he’s not to drink at all (I can tell). So he feels hard done by.

OP posts:

SE13Mummy · 20/01/2022 00:44

Mine is 17 and in the first year of sixth form too. She and her friends do like to take drink to parties and have come back tipsy on a couple of occasions but it's generally a fairly sensible approach e.g. alternate alcohol and soft drinks, make sure you've eaten, only drink the stuff you've supplied yourself etc. If friends come over for food and are hanging out to celebrate a birthday, New Year etc then they are quite partial to sharing a bottle of Aldi prosecco. Between the 5/6 of them they don't get much! Their parents are happy with sensible amounts of alcohol being provided and so far, all but one have managed that responsibility and trust well.

Suzi888 · 20/01/2022 00:51

I used to have a babycham at Christmas - now that was hard done by !

At 17 a bit more, allowed to drink at parties but not loads and didn’t have the money to drink lots in any case. Got sick once after peach schnapps - that did it for me for awhile.

Does he have any hobbies? Play sports? There wasn’t much to do with covid, but things are opening up again now. Any chance this drinking in friends houses could just fizzle out…

Original poster

Bagamoyo1 · 20/01/2022 01:04

He plays football and we’re also season ticket holders for our local team, so weekends are pretty busy. In all other ways I’m happy with how he behaves and spends his time. It’s just this area I feel uncomfortable with. He thinks that I’m being difficult and that his friends are normal, but I feel that he has an unusually heavy drinking gang of mates.

OP posts:

AlexaShutUp · 20/01/2022 01:29

My year 12 dd has had the odd drink here and there at parties, but never to excess and not a regular thing.

WhyDontYouGoogleIt · 20/01/2022 02:02

Dd has one or two cola sized cans of cider at the odd "party", by party it's five mates at a sleepover with a movie and a pizza. But what I'd call a party but I'm old so what do I know.

Maybe three times since she turned 16 and she'll be 17 soon. She tells me if she has and then the parents who are in the house always check before giving her it too. They don't smoke or vape. She could have a glass of something with special occasion meals like Xmas lunch but she chooses not to. I'd much rather she had the odd can of low strength cider in a safe environment and learn moderation with an adult nearby than what some of her peers do and get shit faced in the park every Friday and Saturday nights.

Nat6999 · 20/01/2022 02:11

Ds is 18 next week & has drunk alcohol at his friend's 18th birthday party & the odd glass at his dad's.. He isn't bothered about it, most kids would be going to the pub for their 18th, ds has booked a train ride instead. We don't drink alcohol at home, we prefer alcohol free drinks. It my be because my late dp was an alcoholic & he has seen what alcohol did to him & to me as I'm 4 years clean now.

NameChangeNameShange · 20/01/2022 04:23

Our house is closest to the centre of where we live and I'm known as being a fairly liberal mum, so it's often filled with teens meeting or heading home. I'd say most at 16 have had one or two and a few significantly more! Even those whose parents swear they've never touched anything. However I would say they generally drink far far less than my friends and I at the same age.

With this I'd more be worried about the habit and how regular it's becoming. It sounds like they consider drinking at a friends house the default social option versus cinema, skating, hanging out or whatever. Are there good choices of things to do in the area?

I'd speak to him about habit forming and the need to avoid it, encourage other activities in the evening in the hope something sticks, and have an awful lot of early morning activities so he learns himself about limits.

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