Adhd maybe frustrating behaviour

[Maybeadhd1]

I’m sick and fed up of my behaviour, I just piss off my dad and step mum constantly. I just don’t know how to stop. I impulsively hit them, poke them, lick them. I follow my step mum around like a sad puppy. I get in their way all the time. I can’t anticipate what they want doing so they get mad at me and they say I should know what I should be doing or what they want done. I do the easiest thing possible or in the least possible effort way. I want to change but I just can’t, I’ve tried so many times but I just can’t. I’m really struggling. My psychologist says these are all adhd symptoms, but does that mean I will never be able to change unless I go on medication (which is exceptionally unlikely unless my psychiatrist says I can try non stimulants as I can’t go on stimulants). I just want so badly to change and stop doing all this but I just don’t know how.

I’m also autistic.

My parents just say try harder or stop doing that, they’ve explained why it’s bad or inappropriate but I just don’t get it. I have a psychologist who specialises in autism and adhd so I need to ask her but wondered if anyone has any advice for me in the meantime?

God I sound like such an immature child but I’m at the end of my tether, I just don’t know how i can fix this.

Erm I have adhd and I don't go round hitting licking and poking people. Can't say I've heard those as symptoms/signs of the condition? You need to stop doing that, it's assult.

@Kittykat93

Erm I have adhd and I don't go round hitting licking and poking people. Can't say I've heard those as symptoms/signs of the condition? You need to stop doing that, it's assult.

I meant impulsive behaviour is a symptom. I was giving those as examples.

I don’t really understand your post. You have an autism diagnosis? The behaviours that you have described would surely be part of that diagnosis?

@Windyone

I don’t really understand your post. You have an autism diagnosis? The behaviours that you have described would surely be part of that diagnosis?

I have lots of other things that look like adhd. It’s the impulsivity that’s the problem. I wasn’t aware autistic people were overly impulsive.

Yeah if you find out how to stop those behaviours let me know my nine year old is the same plus he repeatedly puts screamy youtube videos on I turn them off no screams bedtime back on again we agree to his asmr he changes it "accidentally" (fucking lankybox) more screams yes I can and do turn it off but then he lies there awake for hours its like a bloody compulsion constantly headbutting me nudging at me clucking like a chicken at me thing is I know if I let him watch that screaming shit he will go to sleep but it sets MY teeth on edge and because he sleep walks he is in my room for safety which heavily impacts my sleep he is currently lying awake whispering to himself no TV in a dark room like he is supposed to be and we are getting nowhere for hours and he is tired we are all bloody tired

Can I ask your age? What support do you have?

@Windyone

Can I ask your age? What support do you have?

I’m 26. Just a psychologist, psychiatrist and cpn. As I also have mental health issues.

Agree with others. Licking people is not anything to do with ADHD.
Some children with autism mouth or lick things for sensory feedback. However, as a pp has mentioned, if you are licking people, I am very surprised you haven't had support for that before.

How old are you?
How old were you when you were diagnosed ?
Have you parents not attended any meetings or training or support groups, or done any research about your condition and how to support you ?
Did you not get support at school ?

Your post raises so many questions.

Why can you not go on stimulant medication?

@Kite22

Agree with others. Licking people is not anything to do with ADHD. Some children with autism mouth or lick things for sensory feedback. However, as a pp has mentioned, if you are licking people, I am very surprised you haven't had support for that before.

How old are you?
How old were you when you were diagnosed ?
Have you parents not attended any meetings or training or support groups, or done any research about your condition and how to support you ?
Did you not get support at school ?

Your post raises so many questions.

It’s impulsivity that’s the problem. I know licking is wrong and I shouldn’t do it but I do it impulsively. I get this little voice saying go for it for fun hehe. And then it happens.

I wasn’t diagnosed till I was 16 even though it was rather obvious looking back. That was 10 years ago. They have done some research but not much. My dad is also definitely autistic though not diagnosed. I refused support at school as it was purely academic help and I could get by okay with that.

change phsychiatrists .. none if that sounds like adhd.

@Ohdearthatwasntgreatwasit

Why can you not go on stimulant medication?

Because I have a history of psychosis

Actually licking people is quite common, as is prodding and poking. It’s a part of the autistic spectrum group of compulsive behaviours.
It is not assault
First of all get your psychiatrist to tell your family to be a bit more fucking supportive, these behaviours can be controlled to an extent but it needs everybody on board.
Are you on SSRIs?
Do you take any other medications that prevent the use of dexamphetimine et al?

@Gilead

Actually licking people is quite common, as is prodding and poking. It’s a part of the autistic spectrum group of compulsive behaviours. It is not assault First of all get your psychiatrist to tell your family to be a bit more fucking supportive, these behaviours can be controlled to an extent but it needs everybody on board. Are you on SSRIs? Do you take any other medications that prevent the use of dexamphetimine et al?

I’m not on an ssri, I used to be but it wasn’t doing anything. I’m on duloxetine, trazodone and haloperidol. My psychiatrist said if I do have adhd (he’s gonna test me, I do have lots of adhd symptoms), then I can’t go on medication for it because if the risk.

I agree with previous posters. I think you need a different psychiatrist. Your family sound very unsupportive and I think you probably need to access other adult support options.
I am quite worried for you based on your previous posts.

If you can’t take any ADHD medication (and there are various options) then is there any point in having a diagnosis. Do you access adult support services?

Methylphenidate can be used with very slow titration if you have a history of psychosis.
For the minute, (I know it’s hard) try to set timers for how long since you poked/licked etc and make it a longer period each time.
Instead of following your step mum around, go for a walk around the garden, or offer to do a chore.
Tell your psychiatrist that h their input isn’t currently enough and that you would like a cpn or support worker to help structure your time.

What about atomoxetine?

This sounds very hard and I do not think what I am about to suggest will be some miracle cure, but I offer what has made a slight difference in our ADHD’er.

Lots of physical exercise- something about working the body (including lots of big heavy work) helps to calm the mind.

Taking Omega 3 which is known to be low in people with ADHD- very important for the brain.

Having mindful activities which absorb you (FIFA, jigsaw puzzles, maths problems, art).

Having loose structure to your day, but with a good amount of free brain wandering time too.

Self care wise know that your brain is wired differently- so you need to learn some hacks to manage that for yourself. There’s lots of ADHD you tubers now to watch for info and tips and tricks.

Good luck.