Realisation.... or mistake??

[isitbedtimeplease]

I am a professional woman in my forties. I'm divorced with two teenagers. I work in special needs teaching.

I've lived a lifetime of stress, anxiety and overwhelm. Struggled to relax and be myself in relationships, people pleasing and massive effort to make others happy, succeeded well in my work but at the detriment to my health, saying yes to everything and then getting overwhelmed and poorly trying to manage it all.

Have always put my inability to relax, low mood, poor sleep, anxiety and stress down to childhood trauma and my perfectionist people pleasing personality

But

Starting to wonder if I'm neurodiverse?

I'm impulsive... interrupt others when speaking for example and in a lot of debt from impulse buys and poor money management

I don't manage noise well, and can't cope with lots of people speaking at the same time

I need to be in control of everything, everything planned and organised and just so

I can ever switch off my brain.... constantly got a million tabs open and always doing something

Or

Massively procrastinating and not getting anything started or done

These are just a few examples... and I'm Confused to know if this is because of a neurodiversity or as a result of a chaotic childhood and poor attachments or just the life of a full time single mum!!?!?

I don’t know op, but I am interested in the replies as I sound quite similar to you

My cousin was similar to this but she now functions well after many years of studying yoga and meditating.

She was in holiday in Costa Rica and for a laugh they had a yoga and meditation lesson and she was amazed at how much better she felt.

It wasn’t for me but it has worked very well for her that she completely retrained and is now a holistic practitioner.

I've tried yoga and meditation in the past but hasn't been effective in stopping my brain from whirring

You sound similar to me. I'm awaiting diagnosis. I was about 40 when a million light bulbs lit up when I looked into autism in women. Lightbulbs are still lighting up when I read threads such as the support one for if you are neurodiverse with a NT husband/wife/significant person. I'm single but it's really helping me.

@AutisticLegoLover

You sound similar to me. I'm awaiting diagnosis. I was about 40 when a million light bulbs lit up when I looked into autism in women. Lightbulbs are still lighting up when I read threads such as the support one for if you are neurodiverse with a NT husband/wife/significant person. I'm single but it's really helping me.

Thank you! Where is that thread? I feel like everything I read is another light bulb moment?

Can I ask... when you are in social situations are you narrating in your head to yourself what people are saying and thinking? Or is that typical behaviour?

Support thread for autistic people in relationships with NTs www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4448382-Support-thread-for-autistic-people-in-relationships-with-NTs

Come join us.

I avoid social situations as much as possible. I'm ok one to one or with my dc. After any social interaction I come away and go over what was said and worry if I responded as I 'should' or if I messed up. My face has a mind of its own and I'm told off for my rude facial expressions but I think it's just my brain trying to figure things out and I frown and look confused a lot. I also plan social interactions in my head before they happen where possible but generally apart from dropping off and collecting ds I don't interact with people. People are perplexing. I'd rather avoid them.