Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How do you get kids to appreciate the value of money / things

20 replies

onwardsandupwards22 · 19/01/2022 19:42

Just wondering how best to do this. Mine are currently 4.5 & 2,5 but I think it's something that probably needs to start young.

My son told me that his nursery friend said that it was too much money to have swimming lessons with the nursery today and it broke my heart. Ofcourse I understand that poverty goes beyond swimming lessons but it's so sad that kids can be aware from such a young age. I don't want my dc growing up to feel entitled.

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 19/01/2022 19:47

I think it is just a question of saying No sometimes, regardless of the reasons why. Nothing should be handed on a plate to children. There are very good reasons why they can’t always have what they want and money is not always the reason why.

Original poster
onwardsandupwards22 · 19/01/2022 19:54

That's a good point. If they want a toy when we go out etc they rarely ask for it straight away and will say can we get it for birthday etc. But I do feeel I harp on a bit about needing to work when they are complaining about going to nursery , saying mummy daddy need to work to pay for x y z which maybe isn't the right way as they grow?

OP posts:
User0ne · 19/01/2022 19:57

I don't know how it's going to turn out but I (and DH) often talk to our older DC (3 and 5) about money in relative terms.

So for example, "that costs the same as a birthday present/car" etc or "daddy/mummy has to work for x hours to pay for that, please be careful with it".

Our 5yr old got hold of a toy catalogue before Xmas and wanted £150 of stuff off 1 page. I had a conversation with him about what we budget per child for Xmas and why it's not more/less. It felt strange having that conversation but I'd rather he had realistic expectations.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Sorenka7 · 19/01/2022 19:58

Start giving them pocket money. Then when they ask you to buy stuff, say ‘you can buy that/save for it with your pocket money’. Focuses the mind ime.

User0ne · 19/01/2022 19:58

However we also say no for other reasons too. We try to explain it to them though

BluebellsGreenbells · 19/01/2022 20:02

when they are complaining about going to nursery

Then don’t mention work - turn it into a positive - you have so much fun at nursery!

The money thing - get them to pay for things in shops, give them a budget of £1 a week for sweets, make a special trip to spend their pennie’s, if they ask, just say, we’ll we don’t have enough pennies today, we’ll see if we can save some or maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get one for Christmas?

Don’t push the whole work hours thing -

Original poster
onwardsandupwards22 · 19/01/2022 20:05

@BluebellsGreenbells

when they are complaining about going to nursery

Then don’t mention work - turn it into a positive - you have so much fun at nursery!

The money thing - get them to pay for things in shops, give them a budget of £1 a week for sweets, make a special trip to spend their pennie’s, if they ask, just say, we’ll we don’t have enough pennies today, we’ll see if we can save some or maybe you’ll be lucky enough to get one for Christmas?

Don’t push the whole work hours thing -

Thanks - I try and do the whole I Don't enjoy going to work either but sometimes we have to etc in order to validate their feeelings. It's not everyday! But maybe twice a week. I'll take this onboard !
OP posts:
wendz86 · 19/01/2022 20:06

I definitely think pocket money helps as they realise they have to save if they want something that costs more .

HeyUpits2022 · 19/01/2022 20:26

We give DD a pound pocket money (she's five) every week.

She knows that if she wants a crappy magazine she has to buy it (because I absolutely refuse to!) but that she will need to take the money out of her piggy bank and give it to me. And then she'll have to save up again for the next one.

She has started to appreciate these magazines a little more as she's spending her money on them and we do talk about how many weeks she will need to save up for if she wants something really daft and frivolous.

PollyCreo · 19/01/2022 20:28

My parents always encouraged me to save my pocket money/birthday/Christmas money to buy things I wanted; we weren't well off as a family (but not poor) and it instilled a good ethic in me. When I was old enough I started a paper round, babysitting and had weekend jobs - I loved having my own money and a building society account as a teenager. I was horse-mad and my mother sternly told me if I wanted a horse I'd have to buy one myself - I'll never forget the look on her face when I was 15 and showed her I'd saved up £1000 to buy the horse ShockGrin I bought the horse and paid every penny of its stabling, farrier and vet's bills for three years until I sold her.

On a lighter note, my friend has a 5 year old dd and often says no to her requests demands , explaining that she doesn't have enough money (she does but doesn't believe in indulging children). She was mortified when her dd's school presented her with a food parcel before Christmas - her dd had told her teachers 'Mummy doesn't have any money' Blush

reluctantbrit · 19/01/2022 20:36

DD got pocket money when she was 5, £1/week, to encourage savings. I also was someone who refused magazines on a regular basis or sweets all the time.

She is very good, appreciates what she has, saves for more expensive things.

We talk about what things costs, not necessarily if we can afford it or not but that our salary is used for lots of things and also for savings so we can go on days out and holidays.

I know, connecting pocket money to chores is a popular concept but I don't believe in it. For me chores are what all of us have to do as a family.

Original poster
onwardsandupwards22 · 19/01/2022 20:45

Will defo start pocket money thanks for the advice

OP posts:
JanuaryBluehoo · 19/01/2022 21:02

It's a learning thing that will go on for a very long time.
Maybe even until their twenties.
Some dc get it and some don't.
I have two dc.
One is careful with ££ the other isn't.

You have to be mindful that they have different perspectives and personality.

You also don't want dc to be worried about money and scared of not having any.

Why not let them have a carefree childhood?

Gently teach money, it's going to be a marathon not a sprint.

Older dd I show her how we save for things. I drum into her that we don't spend a penny on the credit card we can't afford to get back.

I talk to her about money occasionally eg look at that weetabix... It's got a different name and is x cheaper.
Talk about discounts.

Investments, index funds v individual shares.

When she gets money which is rare, to split it and put some into saving and some to spend.
She has a bank account and she has to transfer money into her card.

She's OK.
I am hoping she will get a Saturday job soon.

It's the younger one who is going to be far harder to be taught to be careful with money!!

JanuaryBluehoo · 19/01/2022 21:06

Hey uppits.

It may be daft and frivolous to you but it's not to her.
I think mils new kitchen is daft and frivolous and also looks ugly and probably cost 100 grand. But she adores it.
She thinks our extremely low cost holidays are frivolous because she prefers material things.

My dds also loved magazines with crap on the front.
Eventually they learned that the crap breaks.

Now they spend their money on roblox or mine craft.

It's really not for me to dictate or say what's daft and frivolous.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 19/01/2022 21:07

I really didn’t make a thing of money during my DC’s childhood, they are adults now and very good at budgeting and appreciate the things they have and plan how they can get the things they want. I think going to university really helped.

DSGR · 19/01/2022 21:09

Your kids are too young to get it I think hut when they’re older, pokey money works.. and saving up for things they want

QuizzicalEyebrows · 19/01/2022 21:19

100K on a kitchen Shock

QuizzicalEyebrows · 19/01/2022 21:23

When my DD 13 first got her bank account she got a bit of a shock when they sent her a letter and froze her account for a couple of days for being £2.50 overdrawn.

That soon taught her how to budget.

I was very thankful for that swift, sharp shock of a learning curve for her

mlj123 · 19/01/2022 21:37

My ds is 6. When he was younger I used to just buy him things. When he got old enough to understand I talked to him about mummy and daddy having to go to work to pay for all the nice things we have. I told him nothing in life is free and if he wants money he also has to earn it, so I would only give him money if he wants to do chores and earn it, then he can save up for the things he wants. It gives him a great sense of achievement when he works for his money and has enough to buy something. He has a bank account too so next step is teaching him to save as well, I am going to start making him save a portion of what he earns and showing him with online banking what he is saving for the future etc.

picklemewalnuts · 19/01/2022 21:45

Choices.

Would you like a pudding at the pub, £5, or a tub of icecream and a packet of brownies and have dessert every night this week?

Would you like to go to the theme park for a day, or a weekend at the seaside?

Would you like a trip to the cinema or a meal in a pub?

A new video game, or a meal in a pub for the whole family, or two second hand video games.

They don't necessarily have to actually choose, just to compare and consider. We often had the chat 'would you rather....' just for fun.

Life is full of choices and comparisons. It's handy to get practice in before it really matters!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page