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Fed up

2 replies

autienotnaughty · 19/01/2022 07:23

I feel fed up at my best friends. We have been close since children (35+ years!)!although over years how much we see each other has varied. A few years ago I had dc and noticed they didn't come and visit really (one friend is most central and doesn't drive so we tend to go hers) I started to suffer with mh so didn't see much of them at all. When I was feeling better I noticed we weren't as close, didn't talk as much and rarely met. I missed what we use to have so tried to arrange some nights out, one friend rarely attended as she works long hours (but makes time for other friends) the other would often cancel last minute. Now we are still friends but meet maybe every few months for an hour coffee plus odd phone call /message. When I speak to them they both (separately) go on about all the fun things they are doing with their other friends and it really hurts that they invest ain those friendships but not in ours. I don't have many other friends and I'm not good at making friends so I just come away feeling fed up that I don't have people to do fun things with. I've spoke to them about it before one friend dismissed it and the other said she would love to do more together then didn't. Nothing else really just wanted to say it.

OP posts:
Whatinthelord · 19/01/2022 15:48

Oh sorry op. I think we underestimate what an impact a weakened or lost friendships have on us, even in adulthood.

I’ve had similar experiences with my old friends and felt upset and frustrated at feeling like I was getting nothing back when I tried to be proactive.

I’m not sure what the answer is. Sorry! But I understand it feels awful.
One thing that has helped me is making friends, through a new activity I joined.

Shapiro · 19/01/2022 15:52

Friendships can wax and wane abs sometimes just run their course.

People acquire different priorities and interests and friendships that were once the be all and end all are out in the back burner.

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