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Original poster

Is this a child protection issue

145 replies

Elisheva · 18/01/2022 18:45

My dd is 7. During her swimming lesson today there was a man in swimming trunks sat on the side of the pool watching the swimming lessons. During swimming lesson times the pool is closed to other swimmers. I asked at reception and they said that the man was cooling off after using the sauna, which is in a room off the pool.
The children sit on a ledge during their lessons while waiting for their turn and the man was sat next to them.
Parents are not allowed poolside during lessons, and currently (because of covid) parents of children over 8 are not allowed to watch from the gallery.
The staff member said that there was nowhere else for the man to sit, that him being in trunks was irrelevant, and that it was no different to the parents watching from the gallery.
I am very uneasy about this situation. I know that the man was doing nothing wrong but it seems to be a situation that could be taken advantage of. I’m not sure whether to take it further and email the centre manager.
What do you think?

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 19/01/2022 01:13

Shock horror! Man in trunks at swimming pool!

Original poster
Elisheva · 19/01/2022 01:42

Does the pool have a sauna only ticket? Never heard of that.
It’s a sports centre, so some people use the sauna after exercising.

Your issue here is either one of two scenarios:

  1. The pool staff need to be clearer that this is a children’s private lesson and therefore he can’t be there
  2. Actually they’re not private lessons at all and regular swimmers can be in the pool at the same time as lessons

It’s very obvious that it is only swimming lessons. There are about 9 groups in different sections of the pool, all in different coloured hats.
The sauna is accessed via a door on the poolside, people have to walk the length of the pool to get to it.

My dd is under 8, so I am allowed to sit in the viewing gallery.

OP posts:
AsYouWishButtercup · 19/01/2022 01:44

I’m that case you need to raise it with the pool that they need to be clearer about lessons being children-only. If it’s a big public pool sometimes places do have lessons alongside regular swimming in the same pool, and it’s not always obvious

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7 year olds Families Primary education
AsYouWishButtercup · 19/01/2022 01:45

But it doesn’t sound like he was only using the sauna - he thought he could use the pool, so didn’t actually ‘only’ pay for the sauna.

Also their COVID rules sound bonkers, how is having a child under 8 mean you are safer to sit in the gallery Confused sounds a bit of a shitshow of a facility TBH

Butterfly44 · 19/01/2022 05:02

It might be a safeguarding issue if no other adults were present. The children are supervised by swimming teachers. And parents are watching from the gallery. Plenty of other adults around.

bonetiredwithtwins · 19/01/2022 05:36

Not every lone man in close proximity to a child is a peadophile for goodness sake. Give your head a wobble OP

girlmom21 · 19/01/2022 05:51

My dd is under 8, so I am allowed to sit in the viewing gallery.

So if this man was using the sauna while his child swam, then came out to wait for them at the end of their lesson, would that be ok?

PAFMO · 19/01/2022 05:54

Not an issue.

Original poster
Elisheva · 19/01/2022 07:44

Not every lone man in close proximity to a child is a peadophile for goodness sake. Give your head a wobble OP

Once again, I don’t think he was a pedophile. I think that people being allowed to leave the sauna and sit with children, watching their swimming lessons, is a situation that prdophiles could take advantage of.
And for people thinking the guy was confused, it’s really, really obvious that the pool is only being used for swimming lessons at this time. Swimming lessons from 4-6pm have been the case at this pool for years.

So if this man was using the sauna while his child swam, then came out to wait for them at the end of their lesson, would that be ok?
I don’t have a problem with him using the sauna, which is a separate room. I don’t think he should be allowed to sit with the children while he cools off.

OP posts:
Cuck00soup · 19/01/2022 07:49

@bonetiredwithtwins

Not every lone man in close proximity to a child is a peadophile for goodness sake. Give your head a wobble OP

This is very true. There are fortunately very few paedophiles.

But in this scenario:
-The pool is closed to adults
-Children are having a swimming lesson.
-And yet An adult male is sat next to children at the side of the pool.

It is appropriate to ask why.

Singingtherapy · 19/01/2022 08:08

I've got 2 daughters and, from a safeguarding point of view, this wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. The children were supervised and completely safe. He still should have gone somewhere else to cool down though. He sounds entitled more than creepy, sitting exactly where he felt like because he was technically allowed to.

girlmom21 · 19/01/2022 08:10

@Elisheva

Not every lone man in close proximity to a child is a peadophile for goodness sake. Give your head a wobble OP

Once again, I don’t think he was a pedophile. I think that people being allowed to leave the sauna and sit with children, watching their swimming lessons, is a situation that prdophiles could take advantage of.
And for people thinking the guy was confused, it’s really, really obvious that the pool is only being used for swimming lessons at this time. Swimming lessons from 4-6pm have been the case at this pool for years.

So if this man was using the sauna while his child swam, then came out to wait for them at the end of their lesson, would that be ok?
I don’t have a problem with him using the sauna, which is a separate room. I don’t think he should be allowed to sit with the children while he cools off.

But my question was if he's then sitting there waiting for his child would that be ok?
TracyHorrobin · 19/01/2022 08:17

I think this is an issue. Any man or woman happy to sit, alone, in swimwear in this scenario would concern me. I was a child in the '70s and all the local pools had their regular weirdos

WhatNoRaisins · 19/01/2022 08:18

I think the issue it's this is either a closed to the public lesson or it isn't.

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 19/01/2022 08:20

It sounds a bit weird that they have the blanket 'no parents can possibly be possibly watch poolside' rule because of covid yet a person not connected to the kids/lessons is just allowed to sit there.

Why could he not have sat and cooled off in the changing rooms? Sounds like he was making a point more than anything. If I'd have left the sauna and seen the pool was obviously full of kids' lessons I'd have gone off into the changing rooms to cool down. Seems odd that he just plonked himself down amongst kids. And I don't mean odd as in 'paedophile' behaviour, just odd as in generally fucking odd

ElftonWednesday · 19/01/2022 08:21

God, how odd that he sat next to the kids.

You'd come out of the sauna and fuck off into the shower pdq if you saw a swimming lesson going on.

TimmyNook · 19/01/2022 08:21

If it was a women sitting there in a bikini would you look twice?

Not all sex offenders are male. And not all males are sex offenders.

As a parent I'd be complaining that I wasn't allowed in when other people were. But I wouldn't necessarily presume he was suspect.

Arethechildreninbedyet · 19/01/2022 08:22

No fuck that.

Ring reception on the morning and ask to make a formal complaint.

There is an unknown male sat watching children’s swimming lessons that their own parents are not allowed to attend. Completely unacceptable and I bet there are other parents (possibly children) who feel the same. He can use the shower.

ElectraBlue · 19/01/2022 08:26

Not a child protection issue as he did not do anything dodgy but it was wrong of the staff to allow him to be there in the first place.

If the pool is closed to all other swimmers when kids are using it then it applied to him too. He can 'cool off' in the changing rooms.

ElftonWednesday · 19/01/2022 08:27

@TimmyNook

If it was a women sitting there in a bikini would you look twice?

Not all sex offenders are male. And not all males are sex offenders.

As a parent I'd be complaining that I wasn't allowed in when other people were. But I wouldn't necessarily presume he was suspect.

Yes I would think it was odd if a woman was sitting there as the rules are that the lessons are supposed to be separate from the general public use.

But fuck off that there are male and female sex offender and implying that the risks are the same. They aren't, men are far more problematic in terms of deviant sexual and criminal behaviour in society.

girlmom21 · 19/01/2022 08:30

Given the fact the staff could immediately tell you what he was doing, I'd assume he'd actually asked permission beforehand.

PAFMO · 19/01/2022 08:34

@Elisheva

Does the pool have a sauna only ticket? Never heard of that. It’s a sports centre, so some people use the sauna after exercising.

Your issue here is either one of two scenarios:

  1. The pool staff need to be clearer that this is a children’s private lesson and therefore he can’t be there
  2. Actually they’re not private lessons at all and regular swimmers can be in the pool at the same time as lessons

It’s very obvious that it is only swimming lessons. There are about 9 groups in different sections of the pool, all in different coloured hats.
The sauna is accessed via a door on the poolside, people have to walk the length of the pool to get to it.

My dd is under 8, so I am allowed to sit in the viewing gallery.

Statistically one of the other parents in the viewing gallery is more likely to be sexually abusing their own child than the random stranger is. Statistically your child's grandfather is more likely to sexually abuse your child than the random stranger is.

When my daughter had lessons, also in a leisure centre a sexual predator was banned from being on the premises. It was a 12 year old boy who was also having lessons but would force himself into the girls' cubicles afterwards and touch them. Hi

Whether or not the random stranger has engineered his sauna session to coincide with the kids' swimming lessons in order to indulge his paedophilic tendencies, you are really far more likely to be in the presence of a paedophile in the viewing gallery or at a family gathering.

SundaySundaeSundaySunsundae · 19/01/2022 08:35

The problem is with the pool management. If they have hired it out for private lessons it's closed to the public
They should have explained this to him
It could be entirely innocent on his part but they need to address who can use which area and when

Original poster
Elisheva · 19/01/2022 08:44

But my question was if he's then sitting there waiting for his child would that be ok?
How would that make a difference? There is no seating area by the pool, parents sit and wait in the gallery or in their cars. A parent would not be allowed to go in and sit on the ledge during lesson times.

If it was a women sitting there in a bikini would you look twice?
Yes, I would be similarly concerned. Because it’s not the individual that I am worried about but the set up.

Given the fact the staff could immediately tell you what he was doing, I'd assume he'd actually asked permission beforehand
The manager went and asked him.

OP posts:
Violet9 · 19/01/2022 09:32

The staff member is wrong, of course it's different from a parent watching their child's lesson! Saying there was nowhere else for him to sit is a rubbish excuse, so then anyone can sit on this ledge while the kids lessons are going on? Doesn't that negate the whole rule of people not being allowed poolside during lesson times?!

Personally I'd take it up with the centre manager as they are contradicting their own rules which is just silly. Why should one random person be allowed to sit poolside with the kids when the rule is only parents of the younger children should be there? That's not exactly adhering to their own covid policy is it! I'd start with pointing this out first op and then add in that there's also the potential for a safeguarding issue, even if they think oh she's overreacting they should still be professional and take your feedback or concerns seriously.

If the rule's in place as part of their covid policy then the staff shouldn't be making excuses for people being poolside when they're not supposed to be. The guy might have genuinely not known he shouldn't have been there, or he knew and was disregarding the policy, who knows maybe he felt weak or faint or something after the sauna and needed to sit down for a bit - regardless, the buck lies with the staff to be more aware and actively go and explain their policy to him / anyone else not supposed to be there during lesson times. The member of staff making excuses for him might have been trying to reassure you there was nothing to worry about, but then what's the point in having the policy / rules then?! I'd point it out to the centre's management and suggest maybe they can more actively monitor who's around during lessons, go over and remind them of the covid policy, put a few signs up reminding people etc. I'm seeing it from a practical and organisational side because that's the way my asd brain tends to work, but yes op I agree there is also the fact that the staff letting this go could also lead to some kind of potential safeguarding issue. I'd definitely have a word, email is good because you have everything said in writing. Whatever the reason for the man sitting there, it's up to the staff there to be more on the ball with their own policies.