Friends never text anymore

[lilalucy]

I was busy with the DDs/house/general drudgery (lol) over the weekend at home and suddenly thought how lovely it would be to get a nice chatty message from a friend to break up the weekend chores. I love my DH and DDs (obvs!) but it's always so lovely to hear from friends and hear their news. My phone seems so quiet these days yet people I know are always hugely active on social media.

I've generally always been the person texting, arranging a drink, travelling to see people but no-one ever really reciprocates in return anymore. It's making me feel quite lonely, and like my life is quite a quiet one, in some respects. I work and I've got hobbies etc but I feel like my friendships have really changed over the last few years.

Does anyone else feel like that? Maybe I expect too much of people now that we've got everyone there at the touch of a screen. I'm sure life was simpler in the days of the landline

Yes it makes me very sad
But I don't know why people do it

Yes I agree. It's really rare. Then when you do get hold of them there was loads going on and they could have done with reaching out but didn't for some reason.
There was one time a couple of years ago when I hadn't heard from anyone for a while and felt quite low. Shook myself and called them. They'd all been having an awful time but kept it to themselves. So it's probably not you!

I think it is sad when friendships change, it's a loss. Out of interest, are you missing the contact or the actual people? Are they the right people for you now?

Also, i tend to think peoples social media are for show - some people I know who post a lot and look happy , are really not on the inside!! Very strange as I think - if you are unhappy why make out you are fine and busy !!

Anyway , is it time to move on??

@Losingtheplot2016

I think it is sad when friendships change, it's a loss. Out of interest, are you missing the contact or the actual people? Are they the right people for you now?

Also, i tend to think peoples social media are for show - some people I know who post a lot and look happy , are really not on the inside!! Very strange as I think - if you are unhappy why make out you are fine and busy !!

Anyway , is it time to move on??

I think it's both. I love hearing from my friends and how they are, especially people I've known a long time. I don't want to be a mug though and do all the chasing.

Are you actually 'being a mug' or are they busy? Crap at getting in touch? I guess do you like them enough and are you getting enough from friendship to accept things the way they are?

I guess I mean can you accept it and not take it personally ?

When I feel like this I just send out a few texts to see how people are and generally that generates a positive response. Maybe don't over think it? (You may not be overthinking it obvs)

I stopped making the effort recently and it hurts that nothing is said.

@Losingtheplot2016

Are you actually 'being a mug' or are they busy? Crap at getting in touch? I guess do you like them enough and are you getting enough from friendship to accept things the way they are?

I guess I mean can you accept it and not take it personally ?

Good points. Lots to think about.

I think sometimes you just want to feel that people care.

Have you a large family? I think everyone's reduced their social circle and those with large extended families get their social input there.

I feel the same and have been thinking about it recently. I am always the one to make the effort and whilst I understand people lead busy lives (as I do) I think people have normalized thinking it acceptable/justifiable not to invest in friendships. I'm also trying to make a mental note when people do contact me so that I remember to feel appreciative.