Give me your best tips for battling depression/ increasing happiness

[Sparklydiplodocus]

Hi all.

I find myself needing cheering up. I’m struggling with PTSD and anxiety/ depression.

On paper I’ve not got a bad life- I’ve got family, friends, a part time job, enough money, pets etc, but I just feel so down and empty.

What can I do?

find a hobby

I need to get outside. A walk today in an arboretum with the dogs was the best therapy.

A gratitude journal. Buy yourself a pretty notebook and every evening before you go to bed note down three things you’ve been grateful for that day. They can be tiny things like seeing a daisy on the lawn or getting a good parking space at the supermarket - it doesn’t matter what they are and it doesn’t matter if other irritating things happened (like you forgot to buy milk while you were at the supermarket) , you just have to write down three things that were good in some small way.
Even if you think it’s bonkers stick with it for a couple of weeks and see if it helps. I did it alongside a friend when she was having a bad time and it did help her (and I found it good too, even though I was just doing it alongside her for support.

Medication and therapy

Medication and therapy is right. It's an illness like a broken leg and needs dealt with properly. Sometimes the leg turns out only to have a torn ligament so time and rest does fix it but other times proper therapy and medication is needed.

I like going outside, early in the morning when there is still light. The fresh air cheers me up a bit (sometimes).

I don’t let myself fall asleep without finding 3 things to be thankful for, that have happened that day. It can be bloody hard and it sounds very cliche, but it genuinely helps. Some days it’s just the basic ‘I’m grateful I had enough food to eat today’.

I’m also a Christian so I find comfort in knowing that God is there to listen anytime I want to talk. I struggle with depression as well and often don’t want to talk to others so I don’t feel like a burden, but He doesn’t mind. I can’t scream, cry or simply rant over and over until I get tired. I ask for strength and I feel someone’s there.

Yes. Should add I’m on medication too.

Get to grips with what is causing your depression. What is the underlying reason why you feel this way? Therapy is absolutely invaluable for this.

Exercise, fresh air, gratitude journaling - all brilliant, but you're just papering over the cracks if you don't address what is going on deep within you

@Lottapianos nothing is wrong in my life. I don’t have a “cause” just like there isn’t an underlying cause of my asthma I can cure.

Get outside in daylight every day if you can. Even just a 20 minute walk at lunch.

Counselling/therapy or medication - definitely

But yes to making the small changes that nurture you.

Things to consider

• daily exercise, even if it's only a short walk
• spending time outdoors
• writing a list of a number of the good things that happened that day - previous posters said 3, or it could be 5, or even 10. You don't have to call them gratitudes if you don't want to - you can welcome even tiny good things in your life without having to feel grateful
• random acts of kindness, ideally daily, can be as small as you like (sticking small change in a charity pot, letting someone ahead of you on a bus)
• finding actions which nurture you, spending time on a hobby, having a manicure, wearing the nicer earrings, talking or messaging friends or family, posting frivolously on a lighthearted thread

And remember, we're all vipers, but look how many of us are chipping in to wish you well and to give you some ideas

What works for me- ignore whatever you’ve tried or know won’t work for you.

Shower every day, as early as possible in the day- even if it’s just a 60 second soap and rinse- but really the shower is my favourite part of my day so I linger.

Get outside every day, as early as possible in the day- like when I let the dog out for the toilet in the morning I boil the kettle and bring my tea out to sit on the bench and just feel.

Speak to someone face to face everyday- if you have no reason to leave the house, find a reason- go and buy a chocolate bar and talk shit about the weather with the shop assistant.

Sleep- oh how I under estimated the importance of sleep for far too long. I’m battling my long established poor sleep habits now- it makes such a huge difference to how I cope with normal life demands. See your GP about sleeping medication if you need it. Do whatever it takes to reorder your sleep and get yourself that quality rest every night.

Have something lovely to look forward to every evening- a favourite meal one evening, a favourite movie another evening, a phone call with a friend another evening. Whatever small thing you know you enjoy- plan them for the evenings- that’s your reward for getting through the day.

'nothing is wrong in my life'

That's good to hear. You mentioned PTSD so you have clearly had some very challenging / upsetting experience in the past. That's what I meant - not that there is anything necessarily wrong with your life right now. Have you had any professional support to process the impact of the past traumatic event?

Great Post. Ive been working on my mindset recently. Check put Laura Johnson mindset coach on social media (various platforms) and YouTube.

I listen to mindset, lifestyle coaching and positive attitude videos on YouTube every morning when I wake - sets my mind for the day. Or I listen to a few positive songs that I have a play list for. This sets my mind for the day. I think of how I want to feel that day (really important) and what I want to achieve.

Im not great at this but, I've started closing my mind down at night to settle it for sleep. So what went well and not so well that day. What I can improve on tomorrow and what I need to write off and NOT beat myself up over it or call myself a failure. Be kind to yourself basically x

I’m having PTSD therapy at the moment, but xmas was difficult emotionally because I’ve cut ties with my family and it rubs it in my face with all the jollity around. I’ve just started a new job too and I’m not sure I fit in.

"xmas was difficult emotionally because I’ve cut ties with my family and it rubs it in my face with all the jollity around'

I hear you. It's so hard to avoid Christmas if you struggle with it, and it can make you feel very sad and lonely

Yeah. I’ve got my husband and kids but somehow it still feels hard and I’ve got a thousand memories of things past in my face.

Exercise outdoors….walking, cycling, running, cold water dipping.

@Sparklydiplodocus

Yeah. I’ve got my husband and kids but somehow it still feels hard and I’ve got a thousand memories of things past in my face.

Then definitely, definitely high quality psychotherapy - psychodynamic or integrated. Not CBT, not counselling, probably not humanist - a qualified accredited psychotherapist.

@WinterDeWinter out of interest, what makes you say that CBT is no good for that? I’m having CBT now.

If you are not persuaded to go down meds route then perhaps consider alternatives:

• St Johns Wort
• friendly gut bacteria (diet or supplement
• good multivitamins
• Vit D

Agree with exercise and trying to get out. Try a fun exercise e.g. skating

Have you got friends you can meet up with?

I find routine helps but a routine that has reasonable variety.

'Then definitely, definitely high quality psychotherapy - psychodynamic or integrated. Not CBT'

Completely agree. CBT focuses on the here and now, and helps you develop strategies to cope with how you feel now. Psychodynamic therapy is interested in your childhood experiences and how they are influencing your feelings and anxieties and challenges now, and addresses the underlying issues that are causing your current anxiety and depression. I was in psychodynamic therapy for a long time, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself

www.google.com/amp/s/atlasbiomed.com/blog/9-ways-gut-bacteria-and-mental-health-probiotics-and-depression-are-linked/amp/

Just something to consider.

Acceptance of your illness is important. Understanding that you haven’t done anything to cause you to feel this way and that you shouldn’t have feelings of guilt when on the surface it looks like you don’t have any ‘real’ problems.

I always use Robbie Williams as an example of him being a multi millionaire, successful career and a lifestyle that most would envy. Yet the black cloud of depression has at times placed itself over his head and caused doom and gloom for him.

It’s really not about how well your life is going when depression strikes although it can be more bearable if you lessen stress and drama and are proactive in looking after your physical health and mental wellbeing.

I would t say that you have to become selfish but loved ones should understand that you sometimes need a little time for yourself and not to put demands on you.

Making the effort to go outside one a day helps especially if you can find a place in nature and just be.

Eating well is important but don’t beat yourself up if you sometimes feel too tired to cook and just want to eat some junk or a cake!

Choose your friends carefully and spend time with people who only want to build you up, not bring you down and avoid those that emotionally drain you with their own problems that they never seem to want to sort out.

Whilst it’s important to focus on the present day it’s nice to have the occasional treat to look forward to, so don’t be afraid to make plans ahead.

Looking back at the past can be useful in analysing your own and other’s behaviour and perhaps now you would do things Differently if presented with the same situation, but don’t dwell on the past too much.

Kindness to others always brings a sense of joy and a reassurance to yourself that you do indeed matter is also good for nourishing your soul.

Get enough sleep. Sad lamp. Exercise you enjoy. Small goals that don't matter if you don't achieve them but will give you a buzz if you do. Something that gives you meaning like volunteering or cheering a friend. See your gp.